to discover what things you lot secretly do but wouldn't admit?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

Not bathroomy things.

But things like -

blissfully mopping up bacon fat with a slice of bed,

logging onto the Daily Mail Sleb pages,

not taking off your make-up at night,

wearing mismatching underwear,

letting the DCs have porridge for supper.

Obviously all these behaviours that should only occur BehindClosedDoors I have had to iresearch from friends, as I am entirely perfect and could live my life in front of a FlyOnTheall camera, with no fear of being judged.

ha Mugggle' i do that all the time..usually with DP's!!

the dusting, that is.

What was the squirty cream incident?

I lick my finger and stick it in the maldon sea salt box. DH doesn't know I do that. He doesn't know I drink milk / juice from the carton either.

at squirting cats!

i wanted to use up some primula cheese spread in a tube and thought my cats might like it.I didn't intend to squirt it straight into their mouths but as it came out of the tube they caught it.

I read Heat.

Never wear matching underwear, half the time I don't even wear knickers.

Don't take my make up off at night - can't be arsed.

I shave my hairy toes with DP's razor.

My house is incredibly tidy but my car is a disgusting tip.

My house is a disgusting tip (and this is bad as I'm a cleaner).

I let my pet rats eat from the plates/cutlery.

hehe this is good

Can't remember the last time i wore matching underwear.

I don't shave my legs unless someone is going to see them

& have a stash of chocolate hidden in the fridge dd doesn't know about.

i hide crap/ store stuff in the car..in fact, i moved last Oct and there's still stuff in there inc clothes!

lololizzy i do that too!!

I have lived in my house for 10 years and I have never hoovered under my bed.

I have my 'tache and chin hair threaded off regularly or else I look like the bearded friggin lady.

Swear like a trooper when kids aren't around, even at work

Buy nice treaty stuff (like pain au chocolat or once a whole bakewell tart) and scoff it all myself before the kids or DH has chance to see it in the cupboard.

Have been known to not brush my teeth the odd morning on a weekend, much to DH's pleasure

Never wear matching bra/knicks as I like wacky coloured knickers and only own 2 bras (due to needing expensive ones for huge norks) which I wash once a week.

What is 'wacky coloured', in a knicker?

I do mainly wear matching, but then I'm sized for Primark and they do matching sets for less than a tenner

Another one (I am enjoying this thread), we have takeaway most Saturday nights and I let DD have dogfood donner kebab if she wants.
Also, I am on lots of benefits so they pay for said dogfood donner.

muggle - Anything bright coloured, wacky/different prints on, same for socks really, no-one ever sees them so I get the most mad ones I can find.

i eat mint sauce off a spoon, but never on food.

i swap the batteries in DP console remotes so he cant play when im in. but i play it when he's out and DS is asleep

use salt like some people use ketchup and dip my food in it. inc chocolate

In that case, I like wacky printed knickers too, mainly from Peacocks sale rail at 50p a pair!

When dd goes to my mums for school holidays I eat sweet and sour pot noodles, pork belly with loads of apple sauce on and super noodles for dinner. I also book one of these days of work and sit alone all day and watch shit on tv.

I am scared of my loft. Really scared.

I do my top lip regularly as I have a tash otherwise.

Squirt cream into my mouth from the can (1st floor so safe from neighbours )

Never wear matching underwear as bras black,white and nude and wear sloganned ladies boxers - primarni style. Socks are usually pink.

clip toenails onto floor and hoover.

eat white choc spread from jar with finger, actually do this with cheese spread too.

Sure theres more

I have lovely skin, and I change my sheets daily.

I often forget to remove my makeup. I get spots so rarely that when one erupts I treat it as a personal affront.
I change my pillowcases less often than I should too

I love a minstrel between two sweet chilli crisps (usually whilst watching a film i have put on intentionally to cry at)

I love raw cookie dough and cake mix. I once ate an entire batch of uncooked brownie mix.

I have a very open and honest relationship with DH but he still doesn't know that i keep a bottle of wine stashed upstairs in my smelly drawer, where he daren't go in, that I sometimes take with me into the bath and drink straight from the bottle. I only do it about 3-4 times a year, but some days call for a hot bath and wine.

I might add that I wear very little makeup on my actual skin. A smidge of concealer and a trace of foundation over my dark eye circles and on my red nose and I'm done!