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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m skint and think this is a good way to pay off some debts – AIBU?

592 replies

WhereTheresAWill · 09/02/2011 16:53

I?m a single parent and although I have a day job it?s minimum wage, so like most people money is tight. I have debts to pay off and anything extra is very much needed so I can get back on an even keel. I started doing webcam work a few months ago after a suggestion from a friend who?s in a similar industry (she?s an escort), and it?s helping me to pay off my debts and give me a bit of extra cash to treat my DC. I can?t do a second job outside the house as I have no evening childcare for my DC, so in that respect it?s ideal. At present I only work on the cams for approx. 3 hours on Friday and Saturday nights when DCs in bed and although there are some time wasters on the site I work from, most of the blokes are fine (with some interesting requests!) and I have a few regulars, one of which spends approx £40-50 a time when he has a show with me.

I know the moral majority won?t approve and will say that I?m being exploited, used, abused etc. but they are the ones paying a lot of money to see me put on a show, so surely it's the other way around! I just dress up, watch TV until a show is requested then do a bit of a dance and a strip tease and watch the money to stack up as the minutes pass - so who?s the fool?! I?m not a victim, as I choose to do this and actually enjoy the fact that these men are paying me to put on a show for them. They can?t touch me, have no idea where I live or even what my real name is, so it?s safe from that point of view, and if I don?t like them for any reason I can kick them out of my ?room?. Obviously I?ve only been doing it a few months and the novelty may wear off, but if things go well, my friend has suggested I could branch out into the odd bit of escorting as well to up my income a bit more.

AIBU doing this to make a bit of much-needed extra cash?

OP posts:
mippy · 09/02/2011 16:57

If you're happy with your kids possibly seeing the images some day (never say never with the internet) then why not? Probably safer than real life sex work.

AMumInScotland · 09/02/2011 16:57

I'm sure there'll be some interesting debate on the morality of it. But I think the important bit to me is the idea that you could easily just move from this to escort work. The "pluses" of your current situation - the level of control and safety which you feel the arrangement gives you - would not be there if you meet the clients in person. Those ones can touch you, even hurt you, never mind just not paying you. I think you'd be a fool if you "branched out" into that.

AnyFucker · 09/02/2011 16:58

well, I am going to give you a Biscuit for most of your post but you do know "escorting" means fucking men for money, don't you ?

and that your experiences are a perfect example of how many women think they are in control of what they are doing, but get sucked further into the sex industry until before they know it, they are prostituting themselves

I think that is very sad...for you, and for your children

I don't make any other judgements about you personally though

it's your choice, just not one I would make or would want my daughter/son to make

GypsyMoth · 09/02/2011 16:58

i'd be mor worried with the kids walking in whilst on webcam??

no evening dc childcare?? who will do it if you did ecort work then?

BabyDubsEverywhere · 09/02/2011 16:59

YANBU, i assume you are an adult and can therefore make decisions about your own life? yes? Then good on you, have fun! I know/have known alot of people in the 'trade' and they have simelar feelings about it - good fun and loads of cash!

However this is mumsnet you are on and this will decend into convinsing you that you are a poor deluded woman who needs saving from herself, Wink

I predict in 25 posts Grin

BabyDubsEverywhere · 09/02/2011 17:01

damn, cross posts, down in two posts, oh well Grin

MrSpoc · 09/02/2011 17:37

I see nothing wrong with it and you could make some good money.

You are not being exploited in anyway as it is your choice.

Escorting may be another solution but do your homework. An escorting does not mean sleeping with blokes. it is just going out fro meals, events etc with men who have not time to find dates etc. you do not have to sleep with them.

If you are comfratble do it. but dont feel pressured into anything you do not want to do.

BooBooGlass · 09/02/2011 17:43

I take it that you're declaring this money?

GypsyMoth · 09/02/2011 17:45

why declare it boo boo??

GypsyMoth · 09/02/2011 17:45

and to whom?

TitsalinaBumSquash · 09/02/2011 17:46

I think she means declare it for tax reasons and any benifits she may be getting.

bupcakesandcunting · 09/02/2011 17:47

I have no opinion on this. If you see it as a legitimate way to earn some cash and are not putting your or your children in danger then carry on.

Do not kid yourself that escort work isn't glorified prostitution though.

MrSpoc · 09/02/2011 17:49

if i could get get money for sex i would. but then i am shameless Smile

Original poster
WhereTheresAWill · 09/02/2011 17:51

"The "pluses" of your current situation - the level of control and safety which you feel the arrangement gives you - would not be there if you meet the clients in person. Those ones can touch you, even hurt you, never mind just not paying you. I think you'd be a fool if you "branched out" into that."

I know there are risks, but as I said I have a friend (well, two actually) in the industry and they will no doubt advise me regarding safety etc. and I'll let them know where I am and check in with one of them afterwards. I'm not on about doing this for a living, just the odd once or twice a month.

"i'd be mor worried with the kids walking in whilst on webcam??"

My DC sleep really well and if wake up, just shout me rather than get up, so I've got absolutely no worries about this.

"no evening dc childcare?? who will do it if you did ecort work then?"

People have sex in the daytime, you know! What I actually meant was I can't get regular evening childcare but can get relatives to sit a few times per month. Anyway, if I'm getting paid £150 per hour I could afford to pay a sitter!

"you do know "escorting" means fucking men for money, don't you ?"

Erm, yes, thank you AF, I'm not an idiot. Hmm

"your experiences are a perfect example of how many women think they are in control of what they are doing, but get sucked further into the sex industry until before they know it, they are prostituting themselves"

Actually I am in control of what I'm doing. No-one is making me do it, I want to do it and if I then move further into the sex industry, it won't be "before I know it" because I will be doing it of my own accord. There is such a thing as free will and choice you know.

OP posts:
BooBooGlass · 09/02/2011 17:54

Yes, for tax purposes, or your nice little earner could turn into a bit of a nightmare. I know there are people who will defend your right to do what you want. But this could come back and bite you in the bum big time

GypsyMoth · 09/02/2011 17:54

so,er,why are you posting here asking us if you already have all the answers and have made your mind up?? Confused

BooBooGlass · 09/02/2011 17:55

And you say you're not an idiot. Unfortunately,being willing to escort, putting yourself in dangerous situations with strangers, is a sign that you're a bit of an idiot I'm afraid

portaloo · 09/02/2011 17:55

How do you cope with the fact that people you know in RL may see you on webcam doing weird and wonderful things. Hmm

Can you clearly see who is watching you?

Not sure I'd want to be 'outed' in RL IYSWIM.

bupcakesandcunting · 09/02/2011 17:56

My hairdresser's mate works in a Spearmint RHino and earns £3000 in a WEEKEND. She drives a new Mercedes and has a second home in Spain.

Sometimes, getting yer fanny oot, pays off.

Gleeb · 09/02/2011 17:57

Ooh this is just like Susan in Desperate Housewives.

JimmyChooChoo · 09/02/2011 17:58

Well if you think you are in control of what you doing and you are happy doing it then why come on this site and ask IYBU???

You said-'There is such thing as free will and choice you know'

So that means people have the free choice to tell you you're being unreasonable.You did ask.

PfftTheMagicDragon · 09/02/2011 17:59

I'm always a little baffled by women who say that they muse be the ones in control as they are being paid by the men.

Why is it that women being empowered only seems to involve being paid by men for sexual encounters? How very empowering Hmm

MrSpoc · 09/02/2011 17:59

BooBooGlass - just because you do not agree does not mean Op is an idiot.

what is different about women going out to pull, getting a bloke to buy them drinks all night then sleeping with them too escorting?

Op do what you want and i am glad the here that you realsie that no nasty men are forcing you to do it against your will.

MrSpoc · 09/02/2011 18:01

Op is incontrol because it is her choice. she can do it when she likes, with who she likes and can stop when she likes.

No one is forcing her to do it so therefore she is in control.

JimmyChooChoo · 09/02/2011 18:02

Mrspocof course escorting is getting paid for sex!What planet are you on????