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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m skint and think this is a good way to pay off some debts – AIBU?

592 replies

WhereTheresAWill · 09/02/2011 16:53

I?m a single parent and although I have a day job it?s minimum wage, so like most people money is tight. I have debts to pay off and anything extra is very much needed so I can get back on an even keel. I started doing webcam work a few months ago after a suggestion from a friend who?s in a similar industry (she?s an escort), and it?s helping me to pay off my debts and give me a bit of extra cash to treat my DC. I can?t do a second job outside the house as I have no evening childcare for my DC, so in that respect it?s ideal. At present I only work on the cams for approx. 3 hours on Friday and Saturday nights when DCs in bed and although there are some time wasters on the site I work from, most of the blokes are fine (with some interesting requests!) and I have a few regulars, one of which spends approx £40-50 a time when he has a show with me.

I know the moral majority won?t approve and will say that I?m being exploited, used, abused etc. but they are the ones paying a lot of money to see me put on a show, so surely it's the other way around! I just dress up, watch TV until a show is requested then do a bit of a dance and a strip tease and watch the money to stack up as the minutes pass - so who?s the fool?! I?m not a victim, as I choose to do this and actually enjoy the fact that these men are paying me to put on a show for them. They can?t touch me, have no idea where I live or even what my real name is, so it?s safe from that point of view, and if I don?t like them for any reason I can kick them out of my ?room?. Obviously I?ve only been doing it a few months and the novelty may wear off, but if things go well, my friend has suggested I could branch out into the odd bit of escorting as well to up my income a bit more.

AIBU doing this to make a bit of much-needed extra cash?

OP posts:
LDNmummy · 09/02/2011 21:19

I do not think I was saying it is not having sex for money, I'm just stating the difference between two different forms of prostitution. I wasn't dressing it up, just stating some facts.

The morality police are obviously out in force.

The same way you are stating it for what it is, is the same way in which I am stating it for what it is, so I don't understand the mocking.

AnyFucker · 09/02/2011 21:20

I don't have to get off any horse

your attitude stinks, LDN, and perfectly epitomises how prostitution devalues women

I don't even need to add anything to what you say

AnyFucker · 09/02/2011 21:22

dividing women into "higher class" prostitutes, and by default, "lower class" prostiues is disgusting and dehumanising

I make no apologies for having a moral stance on that

QueenBathsheba · 09/02/2011 21:22

OP If you think your choice of career is fine,socially acceptable, safe, empowering, financially liberating and normal you'll have no trouble telling your parents and your children what you do for a living.

crystalglasses · 09/02/2011 21:22

I would do it if I needed the money and was comfortable showing off my body. doubt any man would want to see an overweight middleaged woman cavorting around though

LDNmummy · 09/02/2011 21:24

AnyFucker - I was being matter of fact, explain to me how I contributed to the devaluement of women?

LDNmummy · 09/02/2011 21:25

I was separating them into two classes, I was stating that there is a separation of different classes of prostitute.

LDNmummy · 09/02/2011 21:26

The seperation exists, I was just stating the differences, not saying it was alright or socially acceptable, so why does my attitude stink?

QueenBathsheba · 09/02/2011 21:26

Crystal, I'm sure you would earn a small fortune, seems to be a market for anything as long as it involves women's exploitation.

LDNmummy · 09/02/2011 21:28

"I was separating them into two classes"

was supposed to be "I wasn't separating them into two classes"

AnyFucker · 09/02/2011 21:29

LDN..just let your statements stand as they are, if you happy with them

LDNmummy · 09/02/2011 21:31

I am happy with them and I will let them stand.

But you accused me of something and I think it fair that you justify calling me mysogynistic for stating a social fact.

AnyFucker · 09/02/2011 21:32

I have justified it, LDN

you just don't agree with me

like I said, stand by your statements if you are happy with them

why do you need me to de-construct them ?

Original poster
WhereTheresAWill · 09/02/2011 21:36

Just to confirm that I'm not a troll. I've been on here a while and lurked even longer, but have name changed (which I do regularly anyway).

I posted on here to gauge people's opinions about what I'm doing and see if anyone had had any similar experiences, and I understand that some will oppose it, which they have the absolute right to do. I did post in AIBU, after all! However, I also have the right to stick up for what I'm doing and stand up against the opposition. Fair play.

The women I know who escort have never encouraged me to move into it. They just talk honestly about their experiences and that's made me consider it. Please note that while I mentioned toying with escorting, I don't actually do it. As Niceguy2 said, it's a big step going from camming to escorting and it's not one I'm taking lightly.

However, I don't think there's a massive difference between a woman who goes out to a bar on a Saturday night, pulls some bloke and has a one night stand after being bought a few drinks, and escorting. The difference is the woman in the bar has sex with a stranger for free and the escort gets paid. So I say again - who's the fool?!

OP posts:
LDNmummy · 09/02/2011 21:40

No you haven't, you just said something heatedly without actually stopping to get down of your high horse, and listen to what was actually being said. You accused me of being mysogynistic as if I somehow supported the fact that there are lower and higher classes or prostitution when I never said I did. I was merely stating that it is a fact, I never put forward my opinion as to whether it was acceptable yet you acted as if I had done something morally reprehensible.

It is not that I disagree with you, I have stated that my intention was not what you accused me of, yet you continued to press that I had some sort of warped view on the way women are treated, when I never put forward my personal opinion, so how could you even know.

Anyway, whatever...

AnyFucker · 09/02/2011 21:41

I don't do either of those things

You have missed out a few categories of sexual behaviour there, WTAW

I don't think you are a troll, btw, have seen you around a bit

ImFab · 09/02/2011 21:41

You. Sorry.

JeremyVile · 09/02/2011 21:41

No, the difference is that the woman in the bar has sex with him because she bloody well wants to!

Such a dumb argument that always gets spouted. Bloody hell, how fucked up is it that it's always those pro the sex industry who just can't seem to grasp that women WANT and LIKE sex. They fuck for the sake of it, not for payment Hmm

PaisleyLeaf · 09/02/2011 21:42

Are you the kind of girl who goes to a bar on a saturday to pull a one night stand after being bought some drinks then?
If so I can see how you might have arrived at this point.

AnyFucker · 09/02/2011 21:43

< passes larger spade to LDN >

QueenBathsheba · 09/02/2011 21:43

I have been to plenty of bars and Iv'e had sex with a few men, but never one I didn't fancy. OP thats the difference.

AnyFucker · 09/02/2011 21:44

yes, JV, I agree the ONS argument is very, very flawed

LDNmummy · 09/02/2011 21:46

Ok, because that isnt childish.

BrianAndHisBalls · 09/02/2011 21:48

"However, I don't think there's a massive difference between a woman who goes out to a bar on a Saturday night, pulls some bloke and has a one night stand after being bought a few drinks, and escorting. The difference is the woman in the bar has sex with a stranger for free and the escort gets paid. So I say again - who's the fool?!"

So don't do either then you pillock!!!!!!

CointreauVersial · 09/02/2011 21:49

NiceGuy said "I say fair play. If a man is happy to pay £40-£50 to pay a woman to webcam with him then he's a fool who deserves to be relieved of his cash."

I agree - why not make some easy money? But stick with the webcamming, where you are safe and distanced from any danger. Don't branch out into escort work. That's a step too far.