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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m skint and think this is a good way to pay off some debts – AIBU?

592 replies

WhereTheresAWill · 09/02/2011 16:53

I?m a single parent and although I have a day job it?s minimum wage, so like most people money is tight. I have debts to pay off and anything extra is very much needed so I can get back on an even keel. I started doing webcam work a few months ago after a suggestion from a friend who?s in a similar industry (she?s an escort), and it?s helping me to pay off my debts and give me a bit of extra cash to treat my DC. I can?t do a second job outside the house as I have no evening childcare for my DC, so in that respect it?s ideal. At present I only work on the cams for approx. 3 hours on Friday and Saturday nights when DCs in bed and although there are some time wasters on the site I work from, most of the blokes are fine (with some interesting requests!) and I have a few regulars, one of which spends approx £40-50 a time when he has a show with me.

I know the moral majority won?t approve and will say that I?m being exploited, used, abused etc. but they are the ones paying a lot of money to see me put on a show, so surely it's the other way around! I just dress up, watch TV until a show is requested then do a bit of a dance and a strip tease and watch the money to stack up as the minutes pass - so who?s the fool?! I?m not a victim, as I choose to do this and actually enjoy the fact that these men are paying me to put on a show for them. They can?t touch me, have no idea where I live or even what my real name is, so it?s safe from that point of view, and if I don?t like them for any reason I can kick them out of my ?room?. Obviously I?ve only been doing it a few months and the novelty may wear off, but if things go well, my friend has suggested I could branch out into the odd bit of escorting as well to up my income a bit more.

AIBU doing this to make a bit of much-needed extra cash?

OP posts:
penelopestitsdropped · 09/02/2011 18:43

I know a girl, a friend of mine, who does escort work.

it has destroyed her soul.

She is seemingly an outgoing confident girl who believes it is empowering and that she is exploiting the men. much as you do.

But i also know that she cries in the toilet asking why men treat her teh way they do. Why she cant find a man who will treat her with respect.

Please, whatever your conscious logical brain is telling you and how practical it is.
Emotionally you will be destroyed by it

Niceguy2 · 09/02/2011 18:51

Why doesn't she stop then penelope?

PonceyMcPonce · 09/02/2011 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 09/02/2011 18:54

what a stupid question, NG2

reluctanthomosapien · 09/02/2011 18:59

Good luck to you, OP. Maybe they'll make a straight to DVD movie about you, starring Demi Moore, eh? Hmm

Saltatrix · 09/02/2011 19:14

I don't think your being unreasonable ultimately it is your choice as long as you ensure your safety. Also if you feel that escorting has an adverse affect on you then please stop I imagine that some are fine with what they do whereas others may have problems.

Saltatrix · 09/02/2011 19:18

Also there may be some moral issues as I think that many of your potential clientèle would likely be married. Yes it's not your fault they are the ones cheating but you will be helping them with this. Well as an escort you can pick and choose anyway just if you do go ahead of it be careful and use protection.

Niceguy2 · 09/02/2011 19:18

Why is it AF?

I could understand possibly she may have some issues which she never thought would be an issue when she started escorting.

But if she's still escorting whilst hating it so much then it begs the question why?

AnyFucker · 09/02/2011 19:45

NG...she relies on the money ?

or she is so emotionally damaged by it, she no longer feels she deserves anything better than having sex against her will, with men that she hates ?

is that difficult for you to get your head round ?

AnyFucker · 09/02/2011 19:47

Prostitution is notoriously difficult to escape from

many women self-anaesthetise themselves with alcohol and/or drugs just to get through it

it has fucked many, many women up...and plenty of those thought they were "in control" at the start

bibbitybobbityhat · 09/02/2011 19:52

Jezza!

ImFab · 09/02/2011 19:55

I can't get my head around how quickly you went from your OP to being quite happy to have sex with men for money.

AnyFucker · 09/02/2011 19:57

NG...lets hope a son or daughter of yours doesn't end up so emotionally-fuckedup, because you may find it a bit harder to say "why don't you just stop then?"

raedrenn · 09/02/2011 19:58

Don't do escorting, however it is dressed up it is soul-destroying. I know a couple of girls who did it at university and it seroiusly screwed them up. One was even raped.

What I find interesting about your post though is that your 'friends' say it is okay. They are trying to validate their lifestyle by involving you in it. This is excatly how one of my friends got involved in it. The other friend presented it as a great way of making cash with no risks and they then had their own gang going to bolster each other. You will regret it immensly (sic) and have your children to think of.

JeremyVile · 09/02/2011 20:39

Bib! Hello lovely Smile

CockularDepravity · 09/02/2011 20:52

The OP is a prostitute in training. It seems clear that she's seeking approval to move from relatively safe sex work to escorting which is, as we all know, getting paid to fuck strangers.

Do what you like but go into it with your eyes open.

LDNmummy · 09/02/2011 20:58

Anyfucker - Why should she have to say "fucking men for money"? The term escort has it implied in its definition and is an umbrella term. Its like saying it is a less credible term than say, scientist or recruitment consultunt.

OP, asking people on here isnt completely pointless but not a good idea either. People think they know what escorting is based on newspaper articles but actually have no idea. They cannot give you a substantial answer because they do not actually know. Most people think girls who work in the sex industry are some abused stereotype's from broken homes and the like, when in reality it is not like that at all. Or they will just spew their own moral bla bla bla at you.

If the webcamming i safe then why don't you stick to that? Or maybe go into stripping? Escorting is fine in my opinion as long as you are practicing safe sex and making sure your own personal safety is secured (which is hard to do at times). There are plenty of organizations to help with advice for women in the sex trade, visit your local GUM clinic and talk through risks and vaccinations with them, and get an accountant, if you are earning a fair amount it would be best to declare your earnings. There are accountants who specialize in this industry.

Hope this helps!

JeremyVile · 09/02/2011 21:04

" People think they know what escorting is based on newspaper articles but actually have no idea."

Sex for money, is there anyone who doesnt know that? Confused

LDNmummy · 09/02/2011 21:04

BTW, there is a difference between street prostituting and escorting. Escorts actually do escort on dates, weekends away and even whole holidays abroad. It is also about companionship, not just sex. These women are usually very high class in terms of appearance and usually only spend time with wealthy men.

Many may not see the difference here but it is different in terms of why one is called escorting and not just prostitution.

AnyFucker · 09/02/2011 21:09

that's ok then, if escorts are a better "class" of prostitute having sex with only wealthy men ('cos their money is somehow better...?) Hmm

such misogyny in a few short sentences

mind boggling

expatinscotland · 09/02/2011 21:13

'BTW, there is a difference between street prostituting and escorting.'

Methinks the 90s hip hop group put it best: the difference between a hooker and a 'ho ain't nothing but a fee.

LDNmummy · 09/02/2011 21:14

Groan...

I didnt say that, I was just stating that escorting is not just having sex with men and that is why it is called 'escorting' and not prostitution alone.

I just pointed out the money thing as it is a case of a higher class of prostitution too. Another differentiating factor.

These things do make it difference. Whether you agree with it or not, they are different things.

I did not say that it somehow makes it better than standard prostitution. I was being matter of fact about it.

Get off your high horse.

expatinscotland · 09/02/2011 21:15

AF, you know, this would make a good advert!

'We're not just prossies, we're M&S prossies.'

If you're going to be a prossie, go be one. But don't try to dress it up as anything other than what it is: sex for money.

It's like that whole burlesque shit.

Hmm, you're still a stripper!

Morloth · 09/02/2011 21:17

I think there is only one way this can go, and that you should pretend that jaded ruined you from 20 years from now got a time machine and was given the chance to stop now.

You are not special or any more able to handle this than any other woman who as been chewed up and spat out. How are you going to feel if you get caught and arrested and your DCs have to go into foster care while you are in jail? How are you going to feel if your DCs find out and internalise this and your DD thinks this is a great job and/or your DS thinks this is what women are for?

THINK.

expatinscotland · 09/02/2011 21:17

It's hardly riding a high horse to say whoring is whoring.

'I just pointed out the money thing as it is a case of a higher class of prostitution too'

Yes, the fee is higher.

Seems rather self-evident.