I’m skint and think this is a good way to pay off some debts – AIBU?

[WhereTheresAWill]

I?m a single parent and although I have a day job it?s minimum wage, so like most people money is tight. I have debts to pay off and anything extra is very much needed so I can get back on an even keel. I started doing webcam work a few months ago after a suggestion from a friend who?s in a similar industry (she?s an escort), and it?s helping me to pay off my debts and give me a bit of extra cash to treat my DC. I can?t do a second job outside the house as I have no evening childcare for my DC, so in that respect it?s ideal. At present I only work on the cams for approx. 3 hours on Friday and Saturday nights when DCs in bed and although there are some time wasters on the site I work from, most of the blokes are fine (with some interesting requests!) and I have a few regulars, one of which spends approx £40-50 a time when he has a show with me.

I know the moral majority won?t approve and will say that I?m being exploited, used, abused etc. but they are the ones paying a lot of money to see me put on a show, so surely it's the other way around! I just dress up, watch TV until a show is requested then do a bit of a dance and a strip tease and watch the money to stack up as the minutes pass - so who?s the fool?! I?m not a victim, as I choose to do this and actually enjoy the fact that these men are paying me to put on a show for them. They can?t touch me, have no idea where I live or even what my real name is, so it?s safe from that point of view, and if I don?t like them for any reason I can kick them out of my ?room?. Obviously I?ve only been doing it a few months and the novelty may wear off, but if things go well, my friend has suggested I could branch out into the odd bit of escorting as well to up my income a bit more.

AIBU doing this to make a bit of much-needed extra cash?

these days you're not allowed to pay women less for the same work but there is still a gender pay gap and one reason for this is that when women do something (bum wiping, care work, what have you) it is immediately devalued.

There are other forces at work such as the mighty capitalism holding out the carrot on a stick to women i.e bags, tat, make-up and other "essentials" . Advertising and marketing is very clever and women are targeted in ways that men are not.

Single mothers are particularly vulnerable I think. They've got children to provide for, but they can't easily share childcare...

i simply cannot agree with what you are saying here at all.

women are not just targetted for adverts men are too. otherwise they would not use david backam to sell underpants etc.

make-up, bags tat or what ever is for women and thier indervidual reasons. the men i know prefer natuaral women. i advise my wife that she does not need make up but she uses it for herself.

there are also loads of single fathers and is growing everday.

I also cannot agree that women's workj is undervalued such as care work and nurseing etc

I haven't read all this but I think the sex industry in this country needs to be legalised. It's an ancient trade and will never disappear. I've far more respect for a girl who is prepared to make the best of her assets to provide a better life than for a girl who lives of benefits.

One word of warning if you do decide to branch out though, and I'm assuming this is why you don't have the debts, be very careful of escorts who might try to persuade you to try any form of drug. This is what will suck you in and in desperation as looks fade, times get tougher - you will seek any work to fund a tragic habit - not just high end escort stuff for beautiful girls but turning tricks for kerb crawlers.

Apolologies if this has all been said but don't have the will to wade through the thread.

Good luck - get your debts paid off - treat your children and then if you are really smart, do some evening classes and get yourself a better day job.

It doesn't matter if you agree with it DrSpoc, economic historical data tells us that when women branch out into a sphere that was previously dominated by men, the value of that work drops dramatically (good examples are teaching and medicine)

Why are you on here?
You've made your mind up already.

Shame.

OP really pleased you have decided not to go down the escort route. I also hope that your debts are cleared quickly, so that you can stop the camming.

Good luck and God Bless you

Sakura makes an excellent point that women are coerced by advertising into believing they must conform to an idea of beauty.

Spoc makes the point that men are also targetted,they are but most men draw the line at spending money to improve on their appearance, but men are particularly sensitive to the coercian of online pornography and this hooks them and takes their money.

Webcamming, prostitution and pornography does coerce men into feeling that their relationships are unsatisfactory, their wives are fridgit, do not wear enough make up, are not glamerous enough and do not like sex. That is why so many men are also being damaged by this industry. It effects their ability to form and maintain close realtionships.

It splits families up, men suffer too.

Its sad that so many people think prostitution and porn is an honest business with no victims. Think about the people that really make their fortunes through the sex industry, they are seldom women, they are never the product and they are always profiteering through the economic inequality of women and exploitation of the vulnerable (men incl when they spend money they don't have and risk their relationships)

I'm afraid those people on here who say that escorting does not mean you have to sleep with the client are very naive and may have watched to many episodes of Secret Diary of a Call Girl !! I have friends in a similar situation to the person who started this post and they have all made enquiries with various agencies within the 'escort' business and they have all been told that they will expected to provide 'extras' during the date. Dates where clients do not receive extra's will not ask for that escort again which means she will ultimately be dropped from the agency anyway. Plus, if you go on a date with someone who is expecting extras and you don't put out you could be putting yourself in a very dangerous position as they may turn agressive and feel ripped off.
Stick to your webcam activities if you really must but please don't take this any further no matter how tempting the cash may seem.

"a girl who is prepared to make the best of her assets"

Since when was a vagina an "asset"? Are men and boys supposed to see their anuses as "assets" - because they could also sell them if we're taking that approach"

Well said! I can't believe so many women on here seem to think sex work is an acceptable career choice.

It is degrading and horrible. I can understand that some desperate women do it for whatever terrible reason, but no way is it a career choice!

Well isn't that what marriage is??? and who can admit to giving it out for free, tutt tutt ;) x

But it is care work, silly ;) x

..and how do you know that it is degrading and horrible??

Sorry haven't read all the msg's, but just remember what happened to Susan in Desperate Housewives . . . .

What happened to Susan in Desperate Housewives?