to think ds teacher is a bitch?

[bettywobble]

Ds is autistic in a mainstream school, and has 2 full time support teachers. On friday he cae home with the class prize, and I had no idea he was getting it, and he was upset I wasnt in assembly to see him. He has a "hoe school" book which is basically a comunication book between school and home, and I was a bit upset it wasnt mentioned in there so I wrote a small comment in the book thaat maybe if there is a next tie it could be mentioned in this book. Got said book back home tonight with a snotty message in it saying the communication book wa not for this purpose and it would be far too time consuming to write things like this in it. I went straight back to school to have a word with the class teacher who had written this, and was basically told to bugger off in a more polite way!!! She aid there is no time to write these things in the book (I pointed out that if between 3 teachers they find it too time consuming to write a sentence then I a a bit worried). I pointed out that the book doesnt come home evry night a it is meant to, and she said "well it doesnt come back from home all the tie either" to which I pointed out I am pregnant and VERY forgetful, and they are being paid to write in this book and send it home. She was having none of it, and tried to talk right over me, then in the end just said "right" and walked away.
Am I being paranoid or was she being a cow??? She maybe doesnt like me to start with as I found my son almost out of the school gate as the support teacher was nowhere to be seen and his class teacher just let him go, and I complained.

In our school, the class prize is a rotating prize that many children get, particularly if they've had a great week. It's lovely to get it, but the parents don't come in. I would only be upset if the other parents were invited when their child won this prize and you weren't, that would be very off. However, if this is one of the many 'prizes' (Special child of the week, class prize, achievement awards) handed out internally at assemblies, and no parents see them, then YABU.

It would have been nice of them to tell you, however, if your son can't tell you himself (I have no idea whether this is the case) and not a big deal for them to do this.

Yay! Arent I rude (ahem). Of course everyone else is so polite on here, my mistake.

May I politely suggest you should have posted in \link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs_education\here} as you may have received the responses you are clearly looking for.

Betty. My son is autistic and profoundly deaf. Id just like to say Well Done to your ds for getting his prize. I know what it is like when they achieve such wonderful things. My philosophy in life is that The Journey Of A Thousand Miles Begins With A Single Step!!

Presuming that was meant for me, I didn't state that everyone was polite, you always get a bit of a mixed bag of responses when you post in AIBU.

But yes, you have been rude.

yeah, you're being unreasonable. If you're that bothered about the book having stuff written in it, you'd make sure he always had it with him, surely?

lottiejenkins thank you :)

Betty read what Vallium had to say here

ValiumSandwichTime Tue 08-Feb-11 17:31:10

She talks very good sense, at least you have this to take from the thread.

pinkicequeen thanks, that was actually quite interesting. Nice for a different perspective :)

I have sympathy with you Bettywobble. It shouldn't be too hard for the TA responsible to write in the communication book. Oversights do happen though and if your initial note was polite they - in my opinion- should have apologised. I feel you feel exasperated and upset that you were not made aware of an important achievement for your son. At our primary if children are to receive a certificate in weekly assembly parent/carer is invited to assembly. I agree with others that you need to clarify what communication book is for with teachers. I also think that the teacher was an ok person to speak to as I'm sure she has some 'responsibility' for her TAs. I also think you are fair enough in thinking she is a bitch as long as you didn't say it to her!! However, to get anywhere you are going to have to take a deep breath and calm down. I wish you luck.

altinkum, I feel a bit sorry for you...

OP - why all the sarcastic comments? Either post with something constructive or don't post at all.

You can laugh all you want at the posters on here, don't thik any of us are particularly bothered. I do think you need you need to try and clear the air with the teacher concerned.

offtonarnia thank you. I suppose I was a bit peeved when I got home as I have had 2 meetings with the TAs and teacher already this term.

Yes, altinkum, I did get that impression slightly. It's a shame, as I believe (from reading in one go) that many people were trying to help. :(

Goes this way so much in AIBU. Unless everyone agrees and fawns immediately, things go sour quite quickly.

I only laugh as this thread has gone the same way as so many...people offer opinions good and bad, then you get the inevitable ones who only post for an argument! It is quite amusing.

Betty I really understand your situation but you do sound like you're getting more and more upset reading this thread, though I can see you are attempting to come across as not particularly bothered, you clearly are.

I think you should do as Mary suggests and hide the thread and have a calm and productive chat with head teacher when you can. I hope you get it sorted.

altinkum....yea....

This thread's actually quite funny in a strange way. OP you sound like you should be a Little Britain character..."The Mum of the only Autistic child in the Village"

Your 'comeback' to anyone who doesn't agree with you seems to be a bog standard 'Oh well you obviously don't know what it's like having a Autistic child'...it's daft as you have no idea of anyone else's experience.

I was a teacher and in my last class I had an autistic child in my class as well as 32 others, 9 of whom were also on the special needs register, all of whom I did my best for under very difficult circumstances. If I found out that a parent had called me a bitch and a cow on MN I would be furious and hurt and outraged.

I think the op wants to keep this going so she can sit at home and throw herself a pity party - oh poor Betty isn't everyone mean to me. Just because your child has special needs doesn't mean you can throw a wobbly and abuse anyone who disagrees with you. Grow up.