Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think ds teacher is a bitch?

215 replies

bettywobble · 08/02/2011 16:46

Ds is autistic in a mainstream school, and has 2 full time support teachers. On friday he cae home with the class prize, and I had no idea he was getting it, and he was upset I wasnt in assembly to see him. He has a "hoe school" book which is basically a comunication book between school and home, and I was a bit upset it wasnt mentioned in there so I wrote a small comment in the book thaat maybe if there is a next tie it could be mentioned in this book. Got said book back home tonight with a snotty message in it saying the communication book wa not for this purpose and it would be far too time consuming to write things like this in it. I went straight back to school to have a word with the class teacher who had written this, and was basically told to bugger off in a more polite way!!! She aid there is no time to write these things in the book (I pointed out that if between 3 teachers they find it too time consuming to write a sentence then I a a bit worried). I pointed out that the book doesnt come home evry night a it is meant to, and she said "well it doesnt come back from home all the tie either" to which I pointed out I am pregnant and VERY forgetful, and they are being paid to write in this book and send it home. She was having none of it, and tried to talk right over me, then in the end just said "right" and walked away.
Am I being paranoid or was she being a cow??? She maybe doesnt like me to start with as I found my son almost out of the school gate as the support teacher was nowhere to be seen and his class teacher just let him go, and I complained.

OP posts:
barmbrack · 08/02/2011 17:07

Betty, you sound like an angry lady, and I suspect you come across as such to the teachers who are doing their very best and who have about 30 children in their class.

The class awards aren't an event, perhaps, for parents to go to. And if you are as angry and rude as you have come across in this thread I can imagine why the teacher might not have made a special effort for you.

A bit of good manners goes a long way. And as far as calling the teacher a 'bitch'; rather childish.

LaurieFairyCake · 08/02/2011 17:08

I think you would be better asking for clarification on what the book is for. She may not be being paid to write in a book about this - maybe the book is for something else?

I'm also unsure why you are saying it's the teachers responsibility when she has a whole class to teach and not the responsibility of the two allocated teaching assistants who are specifically there to work with your son.

Megatron · 08/02/2011 17:09

DD also has a communication book and there has been a couple of occasions where they have forgotten to write something in the book but to be honest I just saw it as an oversight. When I asked about it they were very apologetic and filled me in immediately.

I think it's about how you speak to someone to be honest. OP were you polite to the teacher yourself or were you a little ratty because you were (understandably) upset?

Original poster
bettywobble · 08/02/2011 17:09

Lmao @ leverkusen-you always get one eh ;)

vailumsandwichtime-thanks :) You understand :)

pinkicequeen- there are 15 people in his class. Between 3, I'm sure they could have managed one sentence.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 08/02/2011 17:09

What Beebox said.
I can see why you're upset and I can see that the teacher wasn't that helpful, but I think you went off the deep end a little too quickly.
And if pregnancy is making you forget things, best write them down so you don't.

Original poster
bettywobble · 08/02/2011 17:11

barmbrack-not to her face!! I am not that ignorant, believe me! And there re 15 in his class actually.

megatron I was perfectly polite and reasonable-you get no where with an attitude when dealing with people.

OP posts:
Leverkusen · 08/02/2011 17:11

Bettywobble is there some kind of problem? I think I was one of the nicest on the thread in my first post?

No wonder the teacher was unhelpful, because you come across as having quite a bad attitude problem.

lessnarkypuffin · 08/02/2011 17:12

It sounds like you need to talk to the head then. You were a bit stroppy but I think you have reason to be if he has a full time TA in as a support and the book still isn't coming home every day and you weren't told of his prize.

I'd make an appointment to see the head and ask for the TAs and teacher to co-ordinate a lot better. You have a right to be annoyed, but going to the teacher angry was never going to end well. Stay calm and state your case clearly. The book needs to be filled in and to come home nightly. If you slag off the teachers the head will switch off and defend his/her staff. Focus on the changes you'd like to see.

Original poster
bettywobble · 08/02/2011 17:12

lauriefairycake- I asked the teacher as it was her who wriote the abrupt and sarcastic comment in his book about not having enough time to mention that he was getting a prize.

OP posts:
Original poster
bettywobble · 08/02/2011 17:14

leverkusen- ok lmao.

lessnarkypuffin I shall speak to the head if it happens again. I wasn't angry when I was speaking to her, just when I got home her attitude had managed to wind me up a little.

OP posts:
saffy85 · 08/02/2011 17:15

I do think they should have written this in the book as it's an accomplishment for your DS and like you say it would only have taken a minute to do that. However some things are not worth getting so wound up about and I do think that this is one of them.

Hopefully when your DS wins another award at school someone will let you know in advance so you can go cheer him on. It sounds like that would mean a lot to him.

KangarooCaught · 08/02/2011 17:16

The LSAs should record his successes in his book if ds is not able to relay that info. However, if you are tardy about returning it, you have less cause for complaint and being pg isn't an excuse! You also need to think about getting the best from this relationship to benefit ds - not sure your approach is working.

LaurieFairyCake · 08/02/2011 17:16

Ok, you've now called this one comment "snotty, abrupt and sarcastic" - is there any chance the sentence is open to interpretation? or did it say:

"I don't actually have time to write in this book every day, I have many other things to do" Hmm

Please describe the comment in the book from the teacher cos I'm going to guess that you may have overreacted as sometimes the written word may seem one way to you but be written by the other person in a purely factual way.

mumto2andnomore · 08/02/2011 17:17

You do sound very cross which is probably not the best way to put your point across. Im sure she is not a bitch

Is it usual in that school to be informed that your child will be getting the weekly prize Ive never heard of that, normally its kept as a surprise for the assembly.

ValiumSandwichTime · 08/02/2011 17:17

The fact that they have such a fixed idea about what is suitable for the book and what's not suitable for the book strikes me as a little intransigent.

Part of the book's purpose is to reassure the parent I would have thought! and to foster a good relationship between the parent and the teacher! or at least that's how it's worked out with my son's teachers. He's been lucky, his teachers could not be better. They are not going to put their hand up to my face and say 'enough'. I would be so shocked and upset by that!

bubblewrapped · 08/02/2011 17:18

Can you not be happy that your child has won a bloody prize?

Ok, you werent there to see it, but you have to tell your child that you are very proud of him but cant always be there to see him get a prize.

If other parents dont go in when their kids get prizes, then I dont see why you should either, nor do I see why the school would let you know. The decision to give him a prize could have been made that morning, or even if it was made earlier, it was I assume a surprise for your son, so writing it in the diary, even if they knew about it, would have spoiled the surprise.

zikes · 08/02/2011 17:19

Could your initial note in the communication book have been a bit snotty itself?

Could you have been reading her reply as snotty when it wasn't intended to be?

Yes, it'd have been nice to know about the prize, but things get missed sometimes.

I should chill a bit and if the communication book is not working on a regular basis, perhaps have a chat about improving dialogue - maybe email or popping in to talk to the TA or something?

altinkum · 08/02/2011 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JoBettany · 08/02/2011 17:21

Out of order calling the teacher a bitch. Just wrong.

Megatron · 08/02/2011 17:22

Betty I think you are reading Leverkusen's comments all wrong, her comments have not been unpleasant to you in this thread, she stated her opinion when you asked if YWBU. It can be difficult to pick up tone in the written word but I don't think there was any attitude in her posts.

ScarlettWalking · 08/02/2011 17:22

You sound like a nightmare

Original poster
bettywobble · 08/02/2011 17:23

Lol ok, well obviously there are A LOT of peope who have absolutely no clue whatsoever what having an autistic child in a mainstream school is like. Like you bubblewrapped. And mumto2andnomore.
Lauriefairycake the sentence was as follows..."We do not have time to record the fact that your son was going to recieve a prize as we find it would be too time consuming". That was the actual sentence. :)

OP posts:
altinkum · 08/02/2011 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GlynistheGimmer · 08/02/2011 17:24

YABU to think your childs teacher is a bitch and/or a cow

YABU to criticise the staffs professionalism on a public forum without having tackled it 'in house'

and YABU to pick fault with people who think YABU, on a thread which is under the AIBU heading

Hmm
Original poster
bettywobble · 08/02/2011 17:24

FFS I did not actually call her a bitch until I wrote on here!!!! OMG, how many times lol!!!!

OP posts: