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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that the breastfeeding room is for breastfeeding?

264 replies

emsyj · 27/01/2011 20:00

Today I went into the breastfeeding room at my local John Lewis to find a lady on a prayer mat praying. I was a bit taken aback really and just wondered if I am being unreasonable in thinking this is inappropriate.

The breastfeeding room is generally very well used. I have never been alone in there, and today another lady came in to feed her baby a couple of minutes after I arrived. The room is pretty small - with 7 small tub chairs it is full really, with space for probably one pram/buggy if all the chairs are taken. Often on a Saturday it is standing room only in there. On weekdays there are on average 2-3 women in there feeding when I go in.

The lady praying today had taken up two chairs with her stuff and then laid out her mat on the floor. This didn't leave much space for people who actually wanted to use the facility for its intended purpose. However, I think my main objection to the lady praying is twofold: firstly, I felt a bit uncomfortable whipping my boobs out in front of someone who was actively in prayer. I am not generally bothered about feeding in front of people (I only left the restaurant to feed because DD is now 8 months old and very easily distracted so I wasn't getting anywhere in there) but I did feel inhibited. Secondly, the breastfeeding room is for women who are breastfeeding - surely people should have some respect for that? Maybe I am being a bit precious on this one, but really the facilities for breastfeeding (if you want to feed in private) are very limited and should be reserved for people who really need them.

So, am I being unreasonable then???

OP posts:
RIZZ0 · 27/01/2011 20:03

That is quite random. YANBU

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/01/2011 20:04

Yes you are; there's a room laid aside for you to breastfeed, you presumably only needed one chair. What's the big deal?

Should the shop have individual rooms for the breastfeeding shy or precious? Hmm

NancyDrewHasaClue · 27/01/2011 20:04

You are being unreasonable and precious about what the room should be used for. Especially if those people for whom it is reserved for are not actually there at that time to use it.

You are being silly for feeling inibited about feeding whilst she is in prayer - surely h problem not yours.

YANBU if her stuff meant that there was no room for someone who was actually wanting to BF to do so. Being concerned about a hypothetical risk that someone might not have space to feed is silly - you have no idea how the woman might have reacted if there was a sudden influx of people.

rubyslippers · 27/01/2011 20:05

YABU

rubyslippers · 27/01/2011 20:06

Yes, she should have moved her stuff

ThierryHenryismyBoyfriend · 27/01/2011 20:06

YABU, it's probably not a common occurrence and where would you suggest she did it?

As she would have known what the room was for, she should have known the women would have come in to feed.

NancyDrewHasaClue · 27/01/2011 20:07

Incidentally, when living in the ME I have been with BF mums who have been ushered out of the toilets and into the back of the prayer room to BF more comfortably.

unfitmother · 27/01/2011 20:07

Is there a prayer room?

manicbmc · 27/01/2011 20:07

If it was the praying room and you popped in to feed your child then would the woman have been offended?

I think she would have been.

The clue is in the name of the room 'breast feeding room'.

coatgate · 27/01/2011 20:07

John Lewis have a breastfeeding room? I remember sitting on the chairs in the customer service area feeding my DD.

Not sure if YABU or not. Know how you feel, but I am not sure it is fair to get precious about the use to which a public space is put.

rubyslippers · 27/01/2011 20:08

That's nice Nancy

I have breastfed in a synagogue whilst we are on the feeding and praying theme

foxytocin · 27/01/2011 20:08

Allah won't mind if you whipped out your boobs while someone else prays. I suspect she can multitask.

Original poster
emsyj · 27/01/2011 20:09

Hmmm, I suppose though that, in the same way that I think it is rude to put your bag on the seat next to you on the bus, it is rude to take up space in the breastfeeding room if you're not actually feeding a baby. Yes, sure, if another person had arrived wanting to feed (the room was full with me, her and one other lady who arrived and started feeding a couple of minutes after me) they could have asked her to leave, but why should they have to?

Thought it was very odd. I have tried to think where else she could have gone and came up with a blank. However, the lack of places for quiet prayer in the shopping centre is kind of a different issue I think.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 27/01/2011 20:10

Would you object if a mother was in there bottle feeding and taking space up?

MadamDeathstare · 27/01/2011 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

unfitmother · 27/01/2011 20:11

Different issue yes, but very similar.

TattyDevine · 27/01/2011 20:11

As long as she wasn't stopping you from breastfeeding by taking up too much room, or telling you off for feeding while she was praying then

YABU

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/01/2011 20:12

That's daft. What if there was a spate of breastfeeders all needing the room at once, hmm? Who gets evicted?

I get the impression that you wanted to make use of the room, fair enough, but feel that it is your (and other BF Mums') 'special' space and must not be used for anything else, certainly nothing as menial as praying when you're doing something so marvellous.

BlackSwan · 27/01/2011 20:12

YANBU.

Reminds me of a time when I was sick at work and told I could have a lie down in the multi-faith room rather than the sick back because the sick bay was occupied. No one was praying at the time. I made a fuss about there not being enough room in the sick bay (huge organisation) and it turned out the one available bed was occupied by a woman IN LABOUR. Well ok then. But I digress... YANBU. Though FF in BF room is fine.

foxytocin · 27/01/2011 20:12

I doubt she'd mind manic, the Koran prescribes breastfeeding for a minimum of 2 years. Women who manage that long are seen as pious and earn brownie points for entering Heaven.

truffleshuffle · 27/01/2011 20:13

YANBU

NancyDrewHasaClue · 27/01/2011 20:13

manicbmc see my post - I think it is fairly common to be welcomed into the female only part of mosques to feed babies.

I am not muslim and my knowledge of Islam is very basic but BF is I believe considered to be very important and to be welcomed and encouraged.

taintedpaint · 27/01/2011 20:14

She should've moved her stuff and not taken up the room she did (although I suspect this was probably a case of her just putting her belongings in the first place she came across, rather than her being rude), but even so, YADBU. I don't see what harm she was doing, there were probably not dedicated prayer rooms, so you are certainly unreasonable.

NinkyNonker · 27/01/2011 20:14

She should have moved her stuff. I think though that were jl to be asked for somewhere to pray they would want to make sure they couldn't say no and the bf room is the mist obvious place.

She should have made sure there was room enough though.

manicbmc · 27/01/2011 20:15

That's all very well and good. But there is a time and a place for prayer (no matter what religion you are) and I really don't think that was the place.