Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be shocked on the way the girls are dressed on My big fat Gypsie Wedding

215 replies

pigletmania · 25/01/2011 22:32

I understand that the Gypsie/travelling community have very high morals, why the hell are the little girls dressed like mini lolitas Hmm. Flesh everywhere, and dressed in a sexual manner. Its fine for the adults if they want to dress like that and wear those big wedding dresses, but not kids. They are just little girls.

OP posts:
hoovercraft · 26/01/2011 07:59

im sorry but this morals stuff is such bullshit. My friend works at a certain council depot next to a camp and the girls are promiscuous.

pigletmania · 26/01/2011 09:56

Totally mutznutz. Does not make a blind bit if difference. So it's ok for liitle traveller girls to dress like tarts but not non traveller kids. They are children whether they are travellers or not and same thing applies. By comparing tribal attire with this trash, it's not like for like is it!

OP posts:
C0FFEE · 26/01/2011 10:37

I watched that program and saw little girls having fun.

If people saw provocatively and sexually dressed little girls is it not their problem?

How does it stop them being children?

My 9 year old does dance classes and wear a crop top and heels. She and her friends also dance like that when they get together.

strandedpolarbear · 26/01/2011 10:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

C0FFEE · 26/01/2011 10:53

How does it take away their innocence if they get spray tanned and dress up for a special occasion?

What about swimwear, even the modest one piece swim suits are small and clingy

figcake · 26/01/2011 10:56

Well it seems as though they press the fast forward button from early on in many ways, not just wrt the tarty-dancing and spray tans for little girls.

The ten year old boy watching the demolition sounded about 30 (what a waste of a good brain).

The men do seem to develop a good work ethic very early on at the age when non-gypsy boys tend to be worrying about pub crawls and other ways of extending their bumming around.

They probably are ready to marry that young.

BUT

It is getting a bit boring really. There doesn't really seem much more to cover. The dresses, the trad roles, the caravans and....

ShineyMoonInAPurpleSky · 26/01/2011 11:06

I was much more shocked by the grabbing tbh.

And I don't understand...if the girls who are grabbed are supposed to deny the man a kiss, then how do they show them if they really are interested? I'm assuming that they aren't allowed to just let themselves be kissed but I may be wrong.

clevercloggs · 26/01/2011 11:11

lol at gypsies/travellers whatever having high moral standards

lol again at the mother of the bride and their family - as weird as the other lot thats for sure

MilaMae · 26/01/2011 11:15

Jesus the double standards re this subject is are laughable.

Katie Price got lambasted for putting make up on her child and I've never seen her dd dressed in anything other than appropriate clothes for a little girl(not my taste but perfectly appropriate).

We constantly whinge about the tat in shops aimed at young girls which makes them grow up too quick.

You then get a tv show which shows tiny girls regularly dressed up as trollops to be frank and that is ok. On what planet is it ok to encourage 6 year olds to cover themselves in make up,wear clothes many a hooker would blanche at wearing and gyrate in a highly sexual manner?????

THEY ARE 6 YEARS OLD!!!!!

What happened to their childhood?

If it's ok to encourage young girls to behave like this then as a society we should think it's ok for all 6 year old girls to dress like this.You can't protect one group of children and not give a stuff about another.

This series really concerns me. If any other group of mothers did the same they'd be hauled over hot coals but because it's "gypsies" it's deemed as quaint.It's not quaint it's sad,very very sad and what makes it even sadder is the fact that nobody wants to do anything about it. It's as if those girls just don't count because they're "gypsies" ie due to their "culture" they'll only end up cleaning caravans and getting "grabbed" so who cares.

Wrong,very wrong.

The makers of this show are just trying to grab an audience with shock tactics,covering some serious issues up with yards of nylon,tinkly music and fairy lights in order to make a good show-at the expense of young girls and women in the gypsy community.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 26/01/2011 11:26

A lot of this is a very short step away from saying a woman wearing a short skirt who is raped was "asking for it".

The grabbing shocked me. That's vile. But then so are some of the attitudes on this thread.

QuickLookBusy · 26/01/2011 11:31

Agree totally *Mila" Saying "It's their culture we must respect it" is bollocks.

I watch the programme and think it is a very shallow look at the community which leaves lots of questions completely unanswered.-what happens if they don't want to stay married[last night a girl said they don't believe in divoceHmm, why are young girls allowed to dance like hookers and the adults say "It's our culture"[so gypsies have always dressed and danced like that have they?] where are all the men? WTF is "grabbing" and why do mothers and fathers think it is ok to put your teenage daughter in that situation?[Oh sorry, yes its the culture]

WimpleOfTheBallet · 26/01/2011 16:04

The men are all at work QLB...the girls can dance how they want and if it's so awful then why watch it?

Non-travelling parents put their daughters in that position EVERY day when they send them to mixed high schools...there is an entire thread about some recent reserch on teens getting assaulted daily at school and loads of MNrs came on to share their own experiences.

activate · 26/01/2011 16:07

don't think they do have high morals as a community actually

  1. girls are restricted from drinking, sex and swearing before marriage

  2. girls are encouraged to dress and dance provocatively from a young age

  3. girls are responsible for cleaning, cooking and childcare, boys are responsible for earning money - no other option

so they don't have sex - big whooping do

nannyl · 26/01/2011 16:13

OP

i dont think YABU

I too was shocked

JosieRosie · 26/01/2011 16:27

YANBU at all. My jaw was on the floor throughout. 'High morals' - please don't make me puke. Nothing very 'moral' about encouraging your daughter not to approach boys but being hunky-dory with her being sexually assaulted up against a wall Hmm Not at all surprised by other posters theories that DV rates are off the charts - women and girls don't seem to be allowed to assert themselves in any way apart from choosing their own wedding dress. Horrendous.

QuickLookBusy · 26/01/2011 16:33

So whimple the men are at work all day, and during weddings/confirmations/parties.

And according to you we send our DDs to school, knowing that they will be sexually assaulted and when they have been assaulted we do nothing about it? I really don't think so, but those mothers and fathers do know their DDs will be assaulted and do nothing about it.[because it's the culture]

I watched it because I know very little about gypsy communities and thought it would be interesting. Unfortunately it has not left a great impression. If this documentary is representive I would hate one of my DDs to marry a gypsy and I wouldn't say that about any other culture.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 26/01/2011 16:40

Quicklookbusy

There were men at the confirmation. They were sitting in the pews.

re. sexual harrasment in our schools

You watched it because "you know very little about their communties"...but having seen one hyped up documetary by CHANNEL 4 ffs you're qualified to it in judgement?

WimpleOfTheBallet · 26/01/2011 16:42

It's not only you I am angry with....it's everyone else who watces it...all agog at te dresses and other "shocking" things...then retires to bitch.

It's exploitative in the extreme. OUR communities are not nearly as "decent" as we may believe.

jenandberry · 26/01/2011 16:42

I have a traveller background. My husband and I rarely drink, our children do not dress in that manner. We do not look the other way while our children are abused. My husband does not beat me. I have never been "grabbed" My husband and I both work, we both went to university. I certainly do not encourage my children to be provocative. My children share chores equally as do my husband and I.

This programme represented a small part of the community that raised me. It certainly does not represent my family.

jenandberry · 26/01/2011 16:43

quicklook it is not representative. Surely common sense would tell you that.

bronze · 26/01/2011 16:50

I'm not sure they really are high morals or just rules that have come from a patriarchy trying to keep their little women down. Hence the no schooling etc. Give the girls no escape route and then they have few choices.

jenandberry · 26/01/2011 16:52

I would argue that all cultures have a strain that "keeps the little women down". The women in my family are not small in any way and it would take a very strong man to keep us down.

Karia · 26/01/2011 16:57

The kids' clothing was so, so gross. I wonder if they were made by Thelma Madine as well. She's in every single bloody episode, the series is basically a giant free advert for her. She must be absolutely raking it in!

QuickLookBusy · 26/01/2011 17:04

I did say in my first post "..it is a very shallow look at a community" and in my second " if this documentary is representative.."

jenandberry thanks for posting that. I'm glad you have given another perspective, and I am truly glad the TV documentary is not representative.

katiestar · 26/01/2011 17:05

Funny how MNers,by and large , think that it's great for little kids to romp about naked on the beach, yet outfits which reveal a lotof flesh are a big no-no