To think Surestart groups are crap

[Pushmeinthepool]

and to never want to go there again!?

I went to a Surestart group for the first time this morning, with a friend. We normally go to a different toddler group but thought we'd give this one a go.

First of all, the "official" Surestart ladies standing observing all the mums. You just KNOW that they are looking for stuff to feed back to your HV about you.

Secondly, offering useless, unwanted advice to mums that are clearly competent. I know some mums don't give a stuff about their children and need to be told where they're going wrong, but honestly, surely it's able to tell one of those parents from a normal, competent parent?

My friend held her 7 month old baby boy on a rocker type thing, and immediately a do-gooder woman rushed over saying she must use the strap when he's on there. WTF?! She was holding him tightly and would hardly be likely to leave a baby on there unattended.

My 20 month old DS was running around, as kids do, under my watchful eye of course, and another of the SS ladies told me to be careful as he might run into one of the tables at the edge of the room and bump his head. She was about 18, I am a mid-thirties mum of 3. It's obvious that my child is clean, tidy, I wasn't swearing or shouting at him or ignoring him like some parents were to their kids. Surely I don't need to be told something like that. They even watched us all strapping our babies into their buggies at the end of the group.

Anyway, I think SS groups are just to try and catch parents out and for the SS workers to find fodder to tittle tattle to health visitors, so I won't be going again.

my mistake! Sorry!

Hope you made it to the loo in time!

nippolopolis, I was joking, people seemed to be getting so irrate,however on reflection it was in poor taste and not funny. Too much red wine i think. Apologies for any offense caused.{bsmile]

YABU

But at least you went with the right attitude.

quote from OP another of the SS ladies told me to be careful as he might run into one of the tables at the edge of the room and bump his head. She was about 18, I am a mid-thirties mum of 3

Does it matter that she was about 18? Does that mean she has no common sense, whereas as a thirty something you do?

As a mid-twenties mum with a baby, I've been to the private baby groups, the ones where the older mums don't talk to you and automatically assume they must have nothing in common due to the age difference. They look down their nose when you try to engage them, they display huge shock when they discover I'm actually an ordinary person, in a stable marriage, with a mortgage, and a career, all the things they deem I couldn't possibly have.

My local sure start playgroup on the other hand is a breath of fresh air. People from all different backgrounds (today chatted to the GP on maternity leave and the checkout operator on her day off). Clean room, lovely toys, time out of the house for free. Fantastic.

YABVU. And unpleasant.

I loved our local Surestart. It had the nicest baby classes and groups of any that I tried. Every mum that went there was clearly there for one reason - because she wanted the best for her child. There was a vast range of social backgrounds and ages and ethnicities. There were very young parents, refugees, very well-off mums, people who breastfed, bottle-fed, worked, stayed at home, received benefits, intended to privately school, intended to state school etc etc. The whole range of parenting choices and backgrounds. There were two very young teenagers who used to come in with their baby. Dad who looked about 15 used to bring a notebook and pen to write down everything he was told so that he would remember it later.

It was brilliant.

If the OP had come in hoiking up her Bodenesque judgy pants we would all have formed a row and done catsbum mouths at her. All of us. Fat bums and skinny bums united.

Good evening

I hope you don't mind me hi-jacking this thread slightly, but I have started a thread in the 'Charities' section re; a Childrens' Centre which is under real threat of closure due to budgetary cuts.

The Centre at risk is a SureStart Centre of Excellence, and if any Mners here would like to raise awareness at their local group/centre, then that would be great and all the parents and staff at Pen Green would thank you from the bottom of their hearts.

I am a genuine poster, who's name changed to avoid 'outing' myself.

Thanks for reading

Pushme - you wouldn't see the 'bad' parents getting advice and support because ss outreach workers have enough discretion not to do that in front of a bunch of other people.

Perhaps you should take a leaf from the book of the 'good/middle class' parents that attend the Centre where I work. Since budget restraints have begun to affect the services we offer, about a dozen of them have been Crb checked and give up hours of their time each week helping run the groups and maintain the services that the 'chavs' in the area really need.

Try getting your head out of your backside and having a bit of empathy for others instead of being so bloody smug and judgemental.

You are paranoid and have taken your experience way out of perspective. Did they take all these details from you, eg of your Health Visitor so they can spy on you? I don't even know the name of mine. I have been to a few and its just a case of signing in so they can regulate numbers.

Health Visitors have more than enough to do than tittle tattle with Sure Start staff.

Its fair enough to remind parents about safety issues when those parents are in their premises.

Anyway, what is clean and tidy an indicator of? Half an hour of messy play and painting takes its toll on any child.

Ours are very popular and its worrying to think they may be cut. Don't go again and make space for somebody else to go.