To think Surestart groups are crap

[Pushmeinthepool]

and to never want to go there again!?

I went to a Surestart group for the first time this morning, with a friend. We normally go to a different toddler group but thought we'd give this one a go.

First of all, the "official" Surestart ladies standing observing all the mums. You just KNOW that they are looking for stuff to feed back to your HV about you.

Secondly, offering useless, unwanted advice to mums that are clearly competent. I know some mums don't give a stuff about their children and need to be told where they're going wrong, but honestly, surely it's able to tell one of those parents from a normal, competent parent?

My friend held her 7 month old baby boy on a rocker type thing, and immediately a do-gooder woman rushed over saying she must use the strap when he's on there. WTF?! She was holding him tightly and would hardly be likely to leave a baby on there unattended.

My 20 month old DS was running around, as kids do, under my watchful eye of course, and another of the SS ladies told me to be careful as he might run into one of the tables at the edge of the room and bump his head. She was about 18, I am a mid-thirties mum of 3. It's obvious that my child is clean, tidy, I wasn't swearing or shouting at him or ignoring him like some parents were to their kids. Surely I don't need to be told something like that. They even watched us all strapping our babies into their buggies at the end of the group.

Anyway, I think SS groups are just to try and catch parents out and for the SS workers to find fodder to tittle tattle to health visitors, so I won't be going again.

TheVisitor,

You mistake me

I don't think she sounds snobby and bodeney.

I think she sounds a bit defensive. Anyone so loudly and aggressively attacking the parenting of people dressed badly and poorly educated always strike me as a bit too keen to define what constitutes a bad parent and exactly who they wish to be defined as better than..
Iyswim

Snobby and nasty troll! If she's not a troll, then she's just a bloody unpleasant snob!

to be honest they probably don't want you to mix with them - you sound delightful!

I went to some great classes through SS (baby yoga, musical signing etc - all very middle class lol) and I made some lovely friends - shame you are so negative - it must be lonely for you xxxxx

I went to my local Surestart centre on Monday and had a fantastic time.

OP they don't generally serve tea in Sure start centres because of health and safety. Are you sure you didn't wander into your local YOI by mistake?

Pag, I get you. She has a strong inferiority complex. :)

My first post to AIBU but my dander is well and truly up!

I love my local Sure Start Centre. They provide lots of activities through the week. I used it for baby massage with DD2 and DS (they even have a dads baby massage class) and I have been to breastfeeding support groups, messy play, music and toddler "movement to music" sessions. DS and I even went to Family Cooking during the summer - jam tarts with only slightly grey-ish pastry hand mixed by a 3yo. Yum!

My local SS centre is a centre of excellence and was one of the first in the country. We can even use a huge outdoor sand area - lovely in the summer. It is used by a huge range of parents, both "good" and "bad" by your standards OP.

What would you rather happen? Lovely facilities can only be used by "good" parents and everone else can fester at home? Out of sight of people who might be offended by their grubby kids? Also out of sight of the kind of help and encouragement that might bring them up to your very exacting standards.

This place is bloody awful atm ...whats with all the shit stirring threads?

holds toerag's hand.

professional busybody/nazi aint i so i got your back :-)

if she's not a troll we can still point and laugh

usualsuspect I agree it's shit isn't it!

I agree Pagwatch. Also the fact she is so paranoid about being reported speaks volumes about how good a parent she REALLY thinks she is.

YABU. I'be helped at a sure start group before andnoone was spying on the mothers, The lady who told you friend that her baby should use the strap was probably worried about thier insurance.

Either a troll or one of the most vile posters I've ever come across. And that dig to the social worker because she didn't start a sentence with a capital letter was absolutely pathetic.

But anyway, to get back to your original post, YABU. My SS centre is brilliant. I'm doing a baby talk and play course there where you learn about interacting with your child. It's run by a lovely teacher in a friendly centre, and all the children are CLEAN. It's a diverse group which shows the SS centre is doing it's job; reaching out to all the parents and most importantly children in the community.

The OP's post is marvellous as it has allowed open discussion that has hopefully dispelled some myths about SureStart.

Yes sungirltan while my 2 of my tangle-haired filthy-nappied DCs leer grubbily at everyone.

Don't think troll is appropriate - think I'm going to go with wanker.

YABU to say all Sure Start groups are like this

However YANBU to never go back to the one you went to -it sounds dire

So you went to a group, felt slimmer, felt like a good parent AND got a cup of tea. What's not to like?
But seriously, don't judge all SureStart groups as being the same. I've been to some great SureStart groups with toddler cooking, messy play, yoga and football. It may be worth reflecting on whether you have a prickly attitude which means that the staff are not quite sure how to talk to you. By all means go along to groups which are more middleclass, but don't write all of SureStart off, because it's not all rubbish.

I went to a lovely Under 2s group. I miss it, now that DS is over 2. The Under 5s is on mobe of my work days.

toerag - i nearly wee'd laughing at your last post!

not as crap as our new local one, I got there and we were the only people!!!! I felt sorry for them TBH

I'm glad you won't be going back pushme, cos it means I won't run the risk of bumping into you when I go.

i wager the op is busy watching the gypsy wedding programme, judging to her hearts content.

If only I were exaggerating!

sungirltan just saw on other thread your DP works in a band. Mine too. And seriously, the times he's away a lot, Surestart groups have totally saved my life (and those of the DCs!) They're not all shit and interfering. In fact, I don't think I've been to a single one that is.

a band? i wish! he's a commercial diver but yes he is away a lot.

i think ss centres are ace and fwiw i'm a huge snob. i did a breastfeeding peer supporter course during my mat leave at a ss centre and met loads of amazing and diverse group of mums. dd wwnt in the creche and had a lovely time. funnily enough no one stood over me spying on my parenting etc.

i did my ante natal at ss too. no one reporting on us - just lots of preg women drinking tea and laughing.

i think the op misunderstands ss somewhat. professionally i refer lots of families to ss and i'm sure i will in the future. ont because they 'do my job for me' but because they are free and an excellent source of support and resources for families and ergo can be helpful in a range of cases. not so much with families who require supervision. thats a different service.