To think Surestart groups are crap

[Pushmeinthepool]

and to never want to go there again!?

I went to a Surestart group for the first time this morning, with a friend. We normally go to a different toddler group but thought we'd give this one a go.

First of all, the "official" Surestart ladies standing observing all the mums. You just KNOW that they are looking for stuff to feed back to your HV about you.

Secondly, offering useless, unwanted advice to mums that are clearly competent. I know some mums don't give a stuff about their children and need to be told where they're going wrong, but honestly, surely it's able to tell one of those parents from a normal, competent parent?

My friend held her 7 month old baby boy on a rocker type thing, and immediately a do-gooder woman rushed over saying she must use the strap when he's on there. WTF?! She was holding him tightly and would hardly be likely to leave a baby on there unattended.

My 20 month old DS was running around, as kids do, under my watchful eye of course, and another of the SS ladies told me to be careful as he might run into one of the tables at the edge of the room and bump his head. She was about 18, I am a mid-thirties mum of 3. It's obvious that my child is clean, tidy, I wasn't swearing or shouting at him or ignoring him like some parents were to their kids. Surely I don't need to be told something like that. They even watched us all strapping our babies into their buggies at the end of the group.

Anyway, I think SS groups are just to try and catch parents out and for the SS workers to find fodder to tittle tattle to health visitors, so I won't be going again.

Op you really think that only chavs can be bad parents?

Re the registrations forms I agree, think it's more to do with stats info on who is using the centre though.

There is stuff that needs changing but sometimes they need to be told. I would hate to see loads if them closing esp as it tends to be the ones in the better areas that are at risk, everyone should have the opportunties not just targetted parents.

wow - that takes some doing annoying Tiktok

My DC are often grubby, as I don't like to bath them too often, but they are loved and well cared for.

And I sit around and drink tea. Don't swear at my DC.

Good for you, being able to see with your XRay eyes, which are the chavvy neglected children.

YABU and more than a bit unfair - to the other mums and the Official Surestart Ladies.

Drinking squash (not actually listed as a substance hazardous to health last time I checked) and swearing (definitely inappropriate and undesirable around children but not indicative of general parental care) are not justifiable grounds for such big judgey pants, so get down from your high horse.

Most HVs and other Surestart helpers are just trying to help mums. Unlike you, they are not there to judge.

I want there to be nod and wink style communication between the officials. They should wear trench coats and have fags in their pockets to give to their snitches and grasses.

If it was like that I would go. Although dd is 8.

Blueberry, the thing is though that I was watching him. I know accidents happen. What did the SS staff do when your DD had her accident? Did you get a telling off?

My local Surestart group is great and the ladies who run it are lovely so YABU.

Joyce
Oh, but were they Frootshoots? Or just squash?

Tiktok you should see the size of the file on the clean and tidy kids and parents that come to mind, they go to the top of the pile, they're just too clean, you know how your mum made you brush your teeth before going to the dentist

YABU. I work at SureStart and am one of those "ladies" but we don't judge or pick fault or give competent mums "unwanted advice" where I work. I don't know of any member of staff who 'spies' for HVs. It's relaxed and happy and we have a lot of regular parents who are very appreciative of the number of FREE groups we provide. I used to take DD to SS before I worked there too and found them to be a lifesaver as I knew no-one else with babies so would have easily become isolated.

As Glynis says, if you don't like it, you don't have to go, but to say "Surestart groups [plural] are crap" after, by your own admission, only having ever gone to one is rather a sweeping generalisation IMO.

PS You may find that the mums who "don't give a stuff" are actually those who never had proper parenting role models of their own, or who are clearly inferior to your superior intellect and therefore come to SS to seek advice on how to become 'better' parents. They are actually 'normal' parents too, just ones with enough courage to admit they need a bit if guidance.

I don't agree that Sure Start staff are in league with HV. Far from it. They are a government funded organisation and of course they have to keep a record about you and your child eg your HV, GP because of reasons of accountability. It's called joined up working

"Well you jest but the registration form is quite off putting, educational level for example ?"

Really? Or are you pulling legs (genuine question, I have never been to SS)?

You went to one, once.

I can't believe that some of you think that parents that swear at their children, and have filthy children, aren't necessarily bad parents. Does it really do a child any good to be effed and blinded at, or to go round in food-encrusted clothes with snot all over their face, a dirty nappy and rarely-brushed hair?

You know even well dressed parents, who follow their immaculately dressed, clean children around and where it all looks like a perfect "functional" family - can need support too.

Ofsted are pretty strict with their criteria for how they support parents. They have to show that they're supporting parents that use the centre AND identify those that currently don't but could probably find it useful.

If they didn't do the registration they'd get their fingers rapped.

Why would they? They are there to supervise and prevent accidents they are not the naughty parent police!. They were the most amazing well trained and supportive people who called an ambulance/made sure I was fine/called DH/cleared the room and made sure I had my belongings once the ambulance arrived.

Why do you have to put educational level on a Surestart joining form? I didn't actually have to fill in any forms today.

I've never been to Sure Start.

But, thanks for the new name. It sums me up perfectly.

Presumably they want to audit who comes to the group, find outwhether they are serving a representative spread of the local people, and if not, how they can reach anyone who isn't coming to the groups

MmeLindt - ah, yes - a fruitshoot would mean a world of difference!

Yes - the forms (I filled mine in years ago - hough actually haven't used them much) are pretty lengthy, It's all statistical data for funding and god knows what else.

To quote MK Council page on why register for the sure start centre

"In addition, we will also use some of the
information provided in the registration
form to make sure that we are:
? Providing and developing the right
services for children aged 0 - 5 years and
their families in your local area.
? Monitoring and evaluating what your
local Children?s Centre is doing.
? Meeting our targets through statistical
reporting.
? Spending money wisely"

It's all for stat crunching and planning of what facilities/groups/courses to run.

The term "do-gooder" always makes my teeth itch.

I can't think of any other way to describe them TBH, JamieLee

Don't go then ..its obviously not meant for people with superior parenting skills like yours

It's the implication that there's something bad about being helpful, kind, nice. The suspicion behind it, that I don't like. You just sound a bit paranoid about HV and all that for someone who is mature and experienced.