To wish people would just shut up about the amount of kids I have?

[AngelicaDemonica]

I'm pregnant with our fourth baby in four years (Been together 8) and I wonder why friends, family and aquaintences seem to think it's appropriate to constantly ask me and OH when we're going to get sterilised!

It's really beginning to grate my cheese tbh. We decided right from the start that we wanted a big family and although this baby will definarely be our last for quite a while I can't honesly say that it will be the last. Not to mention how I feel about being sterilised in the first place.

Where do people get off telling me in the middle of Iceland to get my tubes tied? Personally I find it's more of a reflection of themselvews. Like, they would never have a big family or kids so close together and can't imagine why we would so they just feel te need to spout off thoughless crap.

End rant lol

I can't even begin to imagine how chaotic life must be with three under three. A friend who did it, not through choice, had an awful time. But you must have some help, I suppose - how do you manage to work?

Four is the new three dah-ling.
Supposed to be a status symbol to have 4.

Good luck to you!

Status symbol.....what a load of cock.

tryingtoleave - are you mad? I THINK the op says her and her DH run their own business, but anyway, maybe, and i know this seems to rub up the wrong way with some people, maybe she is a SAHM, maybe she is organised! My friend had four under four - when she was very young and i used to go to her house with my ONE for a bit of order. SHe was super organised, loved playing with her kiddies. What is wrong with you - when do you find time to work? I don't work and i only have one at home - stick that in your pipe and smoke it

My sister has 5 which people feel free to comment on all the time, as in "are ALL these yours???"
She usually answers "No I found a couple in the street and just brought them home"

Doesn't help that even though they are all products of the same gene pool (or so she claims ), she has everything from brunete to blonds and a red-head in the middle! lol

I agree with LaurieFairy, she has a good point. If you shop in iceland, you should not really procreate.

Seriously, if you can only afford crap food, I am not surprised people ask you to stop!

If you can afford them, I guess it's not so bad. Personally, I wouldn't mind if govt made a law restricting every family to one child (or whatever replacement rate is) myself.
The world is over-populated as it is - perhaps we'd save a lot of resources and money by restricting population.
Yeah, you're being unreasonable.

A government restriction on one child only....are you mad?

For a start a large family could easily be greener than a jet set family with 4X4s and sports cars.

Marantha As I've already said I have 5 children. My brother has no children and my OH's sister has no children. Neither of them intend to have children at any point in the future due to either being to old or gay (yes I know about surrogacy )
If they both had the 'average' 2 children each and my OH and I had 2 children then that would make 6 as it is we have only have 5.
Ok I know it isn't quite the same as your idea of restricting families to 1 each but my point is that it all evens itself out in the end. iyswim.

Brightlights, I thought she said she was self employed. I was amazed that someone could work with three littlies so that's why I asked. I couldn't care less whether you worked. Actually, my friend did a degree while she had her three but child care is much cheaper here and she did it partly as an excuse to get time away from them.

I said I would not have any objections if they did bring such a policy in- that is my opinion. People talk bulls* about environmentalism all the time, frankly, the biggest thing they could do to make a real change is restrict amount of children they have.
This is unpalatable truth nobody wishes to admit.

Are there really people with such blinkered views of the world - apparently so!!

a frozen pea is a frozen pea whether it comes from waitrose or iceland, some people REALLY need to get over themselves.

My mother used to cook from scratch, i DREAMED of my mum going to iceland - i remember being awed one time when i went to stay at a friends for tea and she had been to iceland!! Although this was late seventies when boil in the bag curry was considered exotic.

I cook from scratch - its cheaper than going to iceland! Is iceland cheap?

why did you even bother to ask the question then trying to leave? Seriously, you have just answered it yourself!! She is self employed and often, not always, that allows some degree of flexibility. You then go on to tell me that your friend managed a degree when she had hers (starting to worry that my friend with four is your friend with four!) - and THEN you go on to ask how the OP finds time to work! I can only assume then you were just having a sarcastic dig with your ill thought out question

Why are you getting so angsty about this? I said that life with three under three must be chaotic (I refrained from saying hellish). Then I commented that maybe she had help (I was thinking a nanny, a lot of childcare) since she was apparantly able to work. In which case, I thought it might be less hellish than I imagined and I was curious about how she managed.

I still maintain that four under four is crazy - I don't think it's in the best interests of anyone in the family. But, I don't care whether op works or not (beyond curiosity about how she manages it) or have an opinion about whether she should work or not and that seems to be what is upsetting you

no, the only thing that was upsetting me was my lack of food, im ok now

Some people can just do it though, they can, and they do - my friend had very little help to be fair, beyond gparents but they worked so no help with childcare. They managed and im not just saying it, her boys are fantastic, great kids (young adults). Sometimes she worked, sometimes she stayed at home. I personally would have been a disaster and found it hellish.

@ status symob- lol just.. lol. I've had mostly negative comments since I got pregnantw ith baby # 3 so status is bugger all t do with it. If anything I'm mostly looked down on.

We don't have a nanny. OH and I take it in turns. I work from 8-11am and he works from 4-7pm and we swap this every week so he'll be doing 8-11 and I'll be doing 4-7.

When I was having my twins I had the comment (more than once) "Oh, I didn't know you'd needed IVF". They were conceived naturally, but even if they weren't how offensive is that.....

I replied, "oh no, not IVF, just the usual way, you know!

As to te person who said I muist only be able to afford crap food because I shhop in Iceland- WTF??? I got there for Cheerios! Most of our fod shopping is done online. The level of assumption in tis thread is beyond amazing...

And I got a PM from someone telling me that since I can't spell I shouldn't have any kids at all! For the record, I'm partially sighted and tend to type poorly where sites (such as this) don't have spell check. Jesus fucking Christ.

I think it would be an unusual person who didn't find it hellish. I have a 4 yo and 2 y o and cant imagine how we would fit another child in our life. I already feel that my two don't get as much attention as I would like.

I'm with you, but from the totally opposite angle! I'm totally fed up with random strangers asking me when I'm going to have second, and then tutting and admonishing when I tell them I only want one!

YANBU, it still fails to amaze me that people think they have ANY right whatsoever to pass comment on how many children someone decides to have, or not to have as the case is in my situation.

It's none of their bleedin' business!!!

So rude...

I go to Iceland for McCains Home Fries as Ocado don't stock them.

(This is actually true)

Iceland is often cheaper than cooking from scratch. People underestimate how cheap industrial food can be.

Angelica that is appalling, you should report that to MNHQ.

I'd love to have had 4 kids, but started to late. Kids are so wonderful that if I'd started younger I'd have kept on having them, finances allowing.

You're all very lucky.