To think it's about time we could choose the sex of our babies..

[Articulate]

Provided we already have one of the opposite sex. Horrible story in the DM (yes, I know)..about an Australian woman aborting healthy twin boys because they wanted a girl.

Yes, utterly vile and unnacceptable, but couldn't this have been avoided if she could have chosen the sex?

Like I said , only if you already have one of the opposite sex (or two maybe)...

vanitypear if they want to choose, they can adopt!!
the one big mystery was always what sex, yet people now want to choose, it isn't shopping

vanitypear: "if they want to choose, they can adopt!!"

This old chestnut?
too many issues to even tackle this statement properly, but the one I do want to stress is:

You would struggle to choose gender when adopting. You can specify if you want, but you could be waiting years and years. And you won't be getting a newborn either!

Well,you can express a preference for one sex over another when you adopt. Most adopters don't have it as a high priority, and it can greatly restrict your choices, but yes you can, butterfly :)

i have no idea if you can choose a sex when adopting, I assume wanting a baby and wanting to be a good parent would be top of the list.
so why not when having a baby,

There are lots of older children who need good adoptive homes. People seem to want it both ways-a baby and to choose the sex!
To my mind, either the baby is essential and you settle for what you get, or the sex of the child is essential and then you can adopt an older child.
Once people can choose the sex they will be onto the next thing, the right sex with the characteristics they want!
I find it very strange! Have those wanting a boy not considered that they may get a boy who is a dreamy artist who hates any form of physical exercise and mud, or a tomboy girl who won't wear a pretty dress at 4 yrs old and is 'Daddy's girl'. Having a child is a complete lottery, and you need to be openminded and love and support the one you get, even if they are nothing like your dream. Choosing the sex before birth is extending control to before birth.
The relief of having a healthy child is so great that I can't imagine seeing them for the first time and saying 'but I wanted a girl'!

The 50 Million Missing thing is awful. The pictures of those beautiful Indian girls and women just break my heart. :(

I think the idea is terrible. Where does it end, and what do people think they are guaranteeing by having a boy or a girl?

(Unless it is the genetic illness thing.)

I personally cannot see aborting a child of mine for any reason (and I stress that I am only speaking for myself) and the thought of those healthy little twin boys...how sad.

It's just that being able to choose the sex of your child is not a good reason to adopt.
Choosing to adopt is not an alternative to having your own biological child,

There are substantial cultural differences within society in the UK which may mean that taking your "we've had one of each so we can now choose" approach could mean a predominance of one sex within a sub-culture. Some cultures value - and I'm afraid I can't think of a better word this morning - boys more than girls.

Morally, I'm against it unless there is a medical reason.

Thinking about it you are right, InWithThe ITCrowd, and it isn't a good reason to adopt. Therefore any choice is a bad thing IMO.
What happens if you choose and they get it wrong? Do you sue? I can see that being good for the DCs self esteem, 'my mummy wanted a boy and she was so upset to get me that she sued the hospital'!

This is a terrible idea!

The only time you should be allowed to choose the sex is where there is a sex specific genetic disorder you need to avoid.

There is only so much tinkering with nature that should be allowed IMO.

GEnder selection....then intellect selection, height selection, colour selection...............yuck.

Articulate, apologies, I didn't mean to upset you .

It's something I'm very touchy about because of all the anti-boy sentiment on here. But I take it back .

That is not a good enough reason to abort.

But yabu. We don't have the right to choose the sex of our children.

Articulate: "I don't think boys and girls are so different, and I don't really see a problem with wanting a 'balance'."

If you don't think boys and girls are inherently different, then why would a family with both be more "balanced"?

I agree that we need to find a solution to the problem of people desperately wanting one particular gender (especially if that leads to abortion).

I think the solution lies in getting away from the gender stereotypes that lead us to believe that a girl will be like X and a boy will be like Y.

As Butterfly's excellent posts show, boys can have stereotypical "girl" characteristics, and vice versa. A child's personality is not based purely on 1 chromosome out of 46.

If people understand that personality and ability is not dictated by gender, then there should be no reason for them to want a particular gender.

I've just read most of yesterday's posts and wanted to agree with minipie further up, only to see that she's posted again.

I wanted to say that I agree - there is no answer to the question "why do you want a boy/girl?" where choosing the gender of your child will definitely give you what you want. (barring genetic disorders of course)

'try to understand how someone who desperately yearned for a son/daughter felt.'

I do try this. I had 3 DDs first and sadly lost DD3 later in pregnancy. I was never really desperate for a boy but I know DH was over the moon when we did later on have a boy, although he was very happy with his DDs. I have 2 good friends who had 2 boys each and in their words were 'desperate' for a girl. One said that her DH had HIS boys and she wanted HER girl.

I did understand, although I always thought if I had boys first I would have been happy to have a 3rd and not bothered re gender. I did sympathise with them and thankfully for them both got a girl eventually. But if they had at any time spoke of aborting one or not wanting the child (like those who claim to have extreme gender disapointment) I would find it hard to understand them espeially after losing babies and knowing how lucky a person is just to be able to have a child.

Imagine if when you were older you leanered that your parent had extreme disapointment over your gender!! That could really affect you.

Exactly Lenin- whatever it is that you are trying to choose (and I assume it's not actually shape of genitals) you could easily not get it.

The whole argument "but girls can hate shopping and pink, and boys can love their mums" is just nonsense.

There is still a difference between a male and a female. A female is still female regardless of what she wears or likes. I don't know very many girly women tbh, but they are still definitely women and different from men.

If you have four sons and one daughter you wouldn't care whether she wore make up and high heels or not. She'd still be female and your daughter.

But there are thousands of mother/daughter type relationships. To know that you would like ONE of them is not putting pressure on your child.

And anyway, who doesn't want a relationship with their child?? Odd to try to say that wanting a relationship with your child is pressure.