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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's about time we could choose the sex of our babies..

227 replies

Articulate · 07/01/2011 16:38

Provided we already have one of the opposite sex. Horrible story in the DM (yes, I know)..about an Australian woman aborting healthy twin boys because they wanted a girl.

Yes, utterly vile and unnacceptable, but couldn't this have been avoided if she could have chosen the sex?

Like I said , only if you already have one of the opposite sex (or two maybe)...

OP posts:
Earthakitten · 07/01/2011 20:26

Lovely.

You can't actually dismiss me from the thread though, were you aware of that? You seem confused.

Anyway, how strange that you think it isn't unreasonable to want the opposite of the sex you have, but you're not sure the other way.

Do you think the real issue might in fact be society? That people clinging on to the idea of the 'one of each' nuclear family being the only 'right' one is actually the problem?

Because any family with two children had a 50 per cent chance of having one of each, and a 50 per cent chance of having two the same. So wouldn't it be better - instead of legalising some kind of eugenics policy to ensure that everybody conforms to having a (scuse me while I puke again) 'balanced' family - for society to appreciate each and every child for the individual mircale that they are?

MmeLindt · 07/01/2011 20:26

I have a girl and a boy.

I did not see it as some kind of a goal.

I had two miscarriages before I had DD so would have been happy with a healthy baby of either gender.

When I was pregnant with DS, I actually would have preferred another girl. More the angst of the unknown, I think.

Since I did not have the choice, and would not have exercised that choice if I had one, I was then blessed with a boy. I am very glad of this.

If women are able to chose, then some would chose out of insecurity or false ideals. Which is a huge shame.

And if I had chosen to have two girls, and they had been utter tomboys, wild and "boylike" - what then?

TheButterflyEffect · 07/01/2011 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saffy85 · 07/01/2011 20:28

Shock kungfupanda- that's awful! people like that need heavy duty counselling not a baby of either sex!

Earthakitten · 07/01/2011 20:29

Why do you keep moving the goalposts articulate?

Your OP says "Provided we already have one of the opposite sex."

And now you're saying: "I guess I'm thinking about the families who have 2 or 3 of one sex and yearn for a son/daughter"

Original poster
Articulate · 07/01/2011 20:33

MmeLint...you said you would not have exercised this choice if you'd had one. Neither would I.

Neither would most, I'm sure. But for those who really longed for a certain gender, why not?

I can't imagine that if a gender selection clinic opened in the Uk it would have thousands queing to sign up, but it would be invaluable for a minority.

OP posts:
Earthakitten · 07/01/2011 20:35

"invaluable"

Earthakitten · 07/01/2011 20:35

Jesus wept.

Original poster
Articulate · 07/01/2011 20:35

Yes, butterfly, you're right...it saddened me desperately..and I felt that should they have had the option then this awful outcome wouldn't have happened.

OP posts:
Earthakitten · 07/01/2011 20:36

They did have the option.

They could have chosen to not have more children if boys were such a disappointment they aborted them.

Earthakitten · 07/01/2011 20:38

To not try for more children, I mean.

Original poster
Articulate · 07/01/2011 20:38

Eartha, I am trying in my own bumbling way to try and make sense of, and find a solution to the awful article I read, as Butterfly said.

I can't get past it, it's too awful.

OP posts:
Original poster
Articulate · 07/01/2011 20:39

Yes, they could have chosen not to have more, and I wish they had.

OP posts:
Earthakitten · 07/01/2011 20:40

You picked the wrong place and a stupid premise to bumble through this articulate.

ValiumTinselton · 07/01/2011 20:41

Articulate, I may be the only person on this thread to agree with you, but in theory, if a couple already has two boys, then I don't see how it is going to mess the world up to select (somehow) a girl. or VV

Obviously not in favour of aborting the 'wrong' sex though.

Original poster
Articulate · 07/01/2011 20:42

Probably. I thought more people would understand where I'm coming from in all honesty..but you're the only one attacking me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Articulate · 07/01/2011 20:43

*that was to Eartha (sure I didn't need to point that out though).

OP posts:
Earthakitten · 07/01/2011 20:44

Stop being so ridiculous would you.

Read what you've written. YOU wrote that. YOU with the two boys you adore committed internet history YOUR opinion that if you have one child of one sex (or maybe two) you SHOULD have the god given right to specify the sex of your next child (as long as it's the opposite sex).

And then you called me selfish for disagreeing with you.

And wondered how it came to this?

ValiumTinselton · 07/01/2011 20:45

I think people have been very harsh on you Articulate. I get that girls aren't all fluffy and pink and don't do what they're told, but most of us being female know that. It doesn't stop us wanting another female in the family. Just female. Not pink or twirly wirly or ringletty. Just another female, whatever she's like.

MrsBananaGrabber · 07/01/2011 20:46

I have two DS and have a 3 week old DD, I have lost count of the amount of people who when I was pregnant said 'ohhhh, i'll bet you're hoping for a girl' I wanted to punch them, I really couldn't have cared less if I had another boy, infact I found it insulting, maybe it was me being hormonal but I didn't get pregnant so I could indulge myself with a little princess (someone actually said that to me) I wanted another baby with his/her unique personality, not a plaything for me.

ValiumTinselton · 07/01/2011 20:47

Eartha, but if say Articulate had had a boy and then a girl, she wouldn't have brought two boys into the World. But she has. So if she wants a girl, she';s still brought more boys into the World than if she wasn't in this situation of wanting to be able to bring a girl into the World too!

It's not that hard to understand?! Hmm Confused. Just have some empathy??

TheButterflyEffect · 07/01/2011 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Earthakitten · 07/01/2011 20:48

Empathy? But she keeps saying she doesn't want a girl anyway! Confused

It's not just an issue of X number of boys in the world and Y number of girls in the world and if you'd read the thread you might JUST be able to understand that.

ValiumTinselton · 07/01/2011 20:48

eARTHA, NOT a 'god-given right' where did she say that??? just a practical acknowledgment that in her own family's case, to bring a girl into the World would be to balance out, not to skew the balance.

you're being a bit drammmmmm

Earthakitten · 07/01/2011 20:50

"in her own family's case"

No. She keeps flat out denying that this is what she wants for her own family.

It would be easier to engage with her if that was the case!

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