to think my neighbours should NOT have had a NYE party?

[wolfhound]

We live in a terrace. Our neighbours (a lovely couple whom we get on with) went away for New Year. Their son (in his 30s, lives 300 miles away) had a party in their house (with their permission). Thumping loud music till 4am.

We have a 3yo, a 1yo and I'm pg. Party woke up 1yo twice, we got no sleep, and then up at 5.30am with kids.

I realise that many people will feel it's only one night a year. But it's our night too. We wanted a quiet night in (after an exhausting Xmas hosting family) and then to have a nice family New Year's Day. I think that you shouldn't have loud parties if you've got shared walls (every room in our house borders theirs). Go out - there's plenty of places for the young & single to go.

Am thinking of how to make it clear to parents that it was too much for us, and shouldn't be repeated (same happened last year but we didn't complain because we'd just moved in & didn't want to sour relationship). Still, obviously, want to keep good relationship with them, and I know they adore their son & think he can do no wrong, so got to be carefully worded.

Wondering how many people think we are justified, and how many not. My first AIBU post, so donning thick skin now...

YANBU...especially if its happened twice...speak to them after NY citing your children being woken up.

Why did ds not have his party in his own house?

Have a party by all means. But going on until 4am is selfish imo.

YANBU. Put your radio by the party wall on full blast now.

YANBU, did your neighbours come and speak to you before the party??

YANBU, although if you get on well with your neighbours they may not have realised he meant thumping loud music until 4am!

YANBU,why does he have a party at his parents home when he has a home of his own?

I would have a word with the parents when they come back & just say it kept you all awake till gone 4 a.m.

I would be tempted to push the speakers right up against the wall,put on some bass really loud & all go out for a lovely walk.

Thanks for so many replies so quickly! Yes, the parents did tell us he was having a party beforehand - but they did stress that he's 'a quiet soul' and that we should ring if it was noisy. We didn't ring - I have seen that kind of thing turn into a bit of a confrontation before, and didn't want to risk it. So perhaps we should have done. But I also felt he knew our situation (young kids, pg..) and if he was prepared to be quiet, then he would already have done so. Parents aren't back for a few days, thinking of writing them a (polite) email about it...

he sounds like a right plonker and they must be mental to let him do it,30 yrs old!!!
i hope you have been making as much noise as possible since 5.30 get the music on,bit of hoovering and diy.
speak to neighbours yes,pretty shameless of them imo,i noticed they went away and didnt stay there to be kept awake all night.

if you have two babies then surely you must have disturbed them with crying at some point, how do you know it was not a response to 3 years of intermittent baby crying

YANBU. I would have a chat with them in person though rather than emailing/putting a note through the door - it's too easy to misconstrue emails/notes.

Hmm,so basically adored son has taken the piss by telling Mummy & Daddy he is having a couple of friends round for a glass of sherry & a game of chess & in turn turned it into a party for everyone to make as much noise as they can?

I would wake him up now & email the parents.

and i am pg and grunpy cos the bloody fireworks woke me up at 1am grrrrrrrrrrr

Really you're objecting to a nye party? You know it's going to happen, it is only one night a year and you'll know to make alternative arrangements next year. It would piss me off any other time but nye is the one night when all bets are off.

What skyswept, you think it was revenge!

YANBU, OP

YANBU. A really super-noisy party until 4am is a bit much to be expected to put up with - even if it is just once a year.

I wouldn't mind it going on rather loudly until midnight or a little after, its New Year, fair enough. But after that I think it is just too much, and many normal people will be wanting to sleep so the stay up and party types need to have just a bit more consideration... really, would the party be so much less fun at a lower volume?

I'd assume that the son and at least some of the party-goers are now zonked out sleeping... I agree with agedknees, I think I'd be playing some really irritating music absolutely full blast (and possibly encouraging kids to be bloomin noisy too) right about now in an effort to see how much they enjoy that while they are attempting to sleep

sky swept the son doesnt live there so cant have been a revenge thing,

YABU, it's once a year. You can all go to bed early tonight.

YABU, it's once a year. And if it was disturbing you that much, why didn't you go round at, say 1.00 am and ask him to turn the music down, rather than simmering with resentment until the small hours? He may have been very apologetic and obliging. Particularly as it wasn't his house and that he would know that you would report back to his parents.

Agree with purepurple.

i think the point here is that it wasnt the homeowners but their son. I dont mind putting up with noise from my actual neighbours from time to time but think its a bloody cheek to go away and leave your adult son to have one.I have 3 big ds and when they lived here were on strict instructions not to disturb anyones peace.Dont know whats the matter with some parents of grown sons who stil act like they are littl boys,bil spent entire xmas led on sofa hogging tv in his dressing gown with pil waiting on him,he is in his 30s,even peed the sofa after a night out,i made dh leave early when he wouldnt let dd have a xmas film on and moaned that she had had some of "his" special cereal that mummy bought him,knobend!!

skyswept Op said she only moved in a year ago so bang goes your theory plus son doesn't live there,I'd be mortified if my kids did this in my house.YANBU

Yanbu. But I will say that because I'm in a foul mood after my idiot neighbours kept me awake until 1am setting off fireworks and being piss-heads. Not even any decent music.

Our houses are too small for parties. Wish they'd gone into town.

I didn't use the word revenge, I just think the OP must have made noise at some point .

I would now say YABU if the parents left you a number to let them know it was too loud if it was and you didn't use it but are now complaining.