Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my neighbours should NOT have had a NYE party?

248 replies

wolfhound · 01/01/2011 09:14

We live in a terrace. Our neighbours (a lovely couple whom we get on with) went away for New Year. Their son (in his 30s, lives 300 miles away) had a party in their house (with their permission). Thumping loud music till 4am.

We have a 3yo, a 1yo and I'm pg. Party woke up 1yo twice, we got no sleep, and then up at 5.30am with kids.

I realise that many people will feel it's only one night a year. But it's our night too. We wanted a quiet night in (after an exhausting Xmas hosting family) and then to have a nice family New Year's Day. I think that you shouldn't have loud parties if you've got shared walls (every room in our house borders theirs). Go out - there's plenty of places for the young & single to go.

Am thinking of how to make it clear to parents that it was too much for us, and shouldn't be repeated (same happened last year but we didn't complain because we'd just moved in & didn't want to sour relationship). Still, obviously, want to keep good relationship with them, and I know they adore their son & think he can do no wrong, so got to be carefully worded.

Wondering how many people think we are justified, and how many not. My first AIBU post, so donning thick skin now...

OP posts:
Vallhala · 01/01/2011 10:15

YABU. As SixtyFootDoll said, you had the option to take action and you decided not to.

Besides, it is once a year and it is to be expected that parties will take place at this time of year. New Year's Eve occurs on the 31st December every year, it's not as if it comes as a surprise.

What is a surprise is the suggestion that you should have called the Police. Surely they have more importan things to do on NYE than tell people to turn down the noise on the behalf of fully functioning adults?

forehead · 01/01/2011 10:16

Agree with Goblinchild

It's not the neighbour's fault that you felt unable to complain.

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 01/01/2011 10:20

You had the chance to take action - it was offered to you before the party even started.

Just be glad you don't live in Scotland where Hogmany celebrations won't even have stopped at 4am for many people.

upahill · 01/01/2011 10:24

I think you are being a tad U and a bit grumpy (to tell the truth I woul d feel the the same) BUT it is not an everyday or weekly occurance and for the rest of the year there is no noise.

4.00am is not unreasonable for a good party.

Our neighbours are generally quiet and occasionly they let there hair down. It's not a big deal because it is only now and then.

Think of all the noise you are going to generate with a new baby crying in the middle of the night.

sarah293 · 01/01/2011 10:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 01/01/2011 10:34

ooops Riven - that's a bummer - as after my DS's making it until nearly midnight on Wdnesday night at a friends house (party) and DS1 staying up to see the NY in with me last night I was considering a party here next year...........

gillybean2 · 01/01/2011 10:36

Neighbours may have said ring if problems but even they wouldn't of expected you to call at 3 or 4am I'm sure! So when you do speak to parents say you undertsand they said to call but really didn't think you could at that time of night.

Don't think you are being UR, it was far too late.

I do remember my sister laughing when she heard our nephew was having a baby. She recounted the wedding we went to where she and small baby had the room next to him and his friends. Her dh had to knock on the door to ask them to keep it down in the end as they were being so loud they woke the baby up a lot. She said now maybe he would understand. Point being if you don't have dc you don't understand. And certainly don't understand the knock on effect of not enough sleep for parents and children which can't be resolved by simply having a lie in the next day.

sleepwhenidie · 01/01/2011 10:38

YABU. Yes, it was a pain but what on earth is the point in complaining to the parents about it now? The son is 30 years old, its not as if they are going to tell him off!

Also, I know he doesn't live there but the parents do probably have to listen to a lot of noise from your DC's all year round (even though the DC's can't help it) - if that is the case I think they would be a bit Hmm at you complaining about their DC for one night's disturbance.

If you live in a terrace/flat (as I do too) then sometimes you just have to accept there will be noise from neighbours...don't ruin a good relationship with neighbours by moaning about an isolated incident.

Goblinchild · 01/01/2011 10:40

If she's called at 1am, the noise may well have dropped to a reasonable level and a 4am call wouldn't have been necessary.
We used to live in a millworkers' terrace oop North, next to a family of 5. That was very noisy.
Terraces are not good places for families either.

Goblinchild · 01/01/2011 10:41

Family with 5 children I mean. All loud. Grin

Nanny0gg · 01/01/2011 10:41

Neighbours come back and you ask them if they had a good New Year.
Then tell them about yours...

AlpinePony · 01/01/2011 10:49

YABU - you're a grown up now. Go around, knock on the door and talk like adults.

As others have pointed out, you live in a terrace, it comes with the territory and I'll bet your children annoy the shite out of other residents too. Time to start saving for a detached house miles from others!

charliesmommy · 01/01/2011 10:50

If you didnt call them to say anything about the music, they may have assumed it wasnt all that loud and carried on. It wouldnt have needed to be confrontational, just call round and say "sorry but could you turn the volume down a bit please".. and THEN if it had carried on, you would have every right to be pissed off.

Its his family home and I assume if he grew up there then he would have friends in the area, so he is entitled to have a party.

LaurieFairyonthetreeEatsCake · 01/01/2011 10:50

Now is the time to put "Puff the Magic Dragon" on repeat at maximum volume.

Turn your speakers to his wall and go out for a nice walk.

SantasENormaSnob · 01/01/2011 10:54

Yabu

mutznutz · 01/01/2011 10:56

I think you are being unreasonable really...

It's once a year, the parents cared enough to give you advanced warning...and they told you, you were welcome to phone if it got too noisy - the fact you chose not to meant the music went on til 4am. Who knows, the son may be mortified to learn it disturbed you and may have very glady turned it down if you had rang?

To be honest, I wish more neighbours would be as respectful as them. Oh, and the fact he has moved out of his parents house and lives 300 miles away is no-one's business...obviously his friends still live locally.

mutznutz · 01/01/2011 10:57

Grrrr!! Charliesmommy already said it...damn my slow typing!! Grin

theevildead2 · 01/01/2011 11:03

If it had been the couple's party I woudl say you were being a tad unreasonable. But to loan out their house purely for a party is very unreasonable

Laquitar · 01/01/2011 11:04

I am very surprised that the majority said you are not unreasonable.
It was NYE. It is once a year.

They had 2 parties in 2 years? Then you are very lucky and you have very good neighboors. (if it was every weekend then it would be different story).

Sorry but i think it is a bit miserable to email a complain about NYE party.

tyler80 · 01/01/2011 11:05

Even for one day of the year, I think anything with loud bass is unreasonable at any time in a house with shared walls. The loud music itself is not so bad, it's the vibrations that are terrible so in that respect YANBU. You are being a little bit unreasonable in that you didn't go round.

To all those who say, it's only one day a year and to be expected, well some people work New Years Day, some people doing quite important jobs, and I'd prefer they did those important jobs after a nights sleep. In the same way that a loud party late into the early hours on a Saturday night is no more acceptable to me than one on a school night. Not everyone works to the same rotas.

mutznutz · 01/01/2011 11:06

Allowing their son to have a party for all his friends in the family home is hardly 'loaning it out' though really is it? If it were a distant cousin for friend - yeah, but this is his family home remember?

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 01/01/2011 11:07

tyler - thats what ear plugs are for.

Goblinchild · 01/01/2011 11:07

'If it had been the couple's party I woudl say you were being a tad unreasonable. But to loan out their house purely for a party is very unreasonable'

It's their son. I wouldn't consider letting my DD have a party in my house 'loaning it out'
She may be an adult, but this will always be her home, whenever she needs it for whatever reason. Same for DS.

SoupDragon · 01/01/2011 11:08

Personally, I woud let it go. There is nothing to be gained by complaining about it other than animosity. Complaining while not get you your quet night in back.

HOwever, next time they mention a party I would say "Do you think you could ask him to keep it down after midnight? Last time it was thumping music until 4am"

spidookly · 01/01/2011 11:09

It's not illegal to be considerate and turn the music down at a reasonable hour even if nobody has complained.

I'm surprised at how many people would knock on the door of a party of loud, drunk strangers to have a confrontation over noise in the middle of the night.

The OP had no idea who was at that party or what they were doing. It could have got really ugly.

The fact that she had the good sense not to do that doesn't make her unreasonable to be pissed off at having been put in that situation.

Swipe left for the next trending thread