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AIBU?

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Original poster

have had enough and gone back to bed

219 replies

VivaLeBeaver · 25/12/2010 10:55

They can sort fucking dinner out. Was doing the veg and dd hit the dog. Dog screamed, ran into the table and screamed again. Dd is nine and terrorises the dog for no reason. Am at my witd. End. It'll bite her one day. So i start yelling at dd and dh who saw everything yells at me for yelling at her. Merry fucking xmas.

OP posts:
beachholiday · 27/12/2010 11:24

So if a dog trainer eliminated all of the dogs behaviours that your daughter doesnt like, do you actually think the problem is going to go away?

Original poster
VivaLeBeaver · 27/12/2010 11:26

"So now it is the dog's fault.

It is all excuses! And the dog needs to be controlled/learn how to act around food, this is a major tipping point for animals & humans.

"

I'm not saying its the dog's fault, where have I said this?

Yes I agree the dog needs to learn to act around food, hence why I'm going to sort out another trainer.

OP posts:
Animation · 27/12/2010 11:26

Viva - very defensive.

If you're concerned about her ANGER issues - then spend some time with her - one-one and stop buggaring about on this thread.

Original poster
VivaLeBeaver · 27/12/2010 11:28

See I can't do right for doing wrong. Some of yo uare saying I need to get the dog trained to not charge about when there's food about, etc. Now I'm the baddest person in the world for wanting to do that. How dare I try and change the dog's behaviour.

OP posts:
VallhalaLalalalalalalalaaaaaa · 27/12/2010 11:31

It's not the bloody dog which needs training, it's you, your DH and your daughter, from what I can see.

And if you have told the Retired Greyhound Trust the tale exactly as described by you on here - which I doubt, tbh - then I'm as disgusted at them as I am at your family.

But then again, I speak from an animal rights, no kill compassionate POV, not the type where the dog could be worse off than she is now....

As you might see, I'm done with being polite and keeping my cool.

beachholiday · 27/12/2010 11:31

Do you think changing the dogs behaviour actually solves the problem here though?

SouthMum · 27/12/2010 11:32

I heart you Val.

OP sorry but you are in total denial.

You also need to sort some training out for your DD. Gets annoyed when she is disturbed does she? Tell her thats life and she cant go around bashing everyone up who dare get in her way or she will learn fast when someone hits her back.

differentnameforthis · 27/12/2010 11:36

You said it as much in your post of 10:52.

She would never lie down if DD tells her to and also the dog ignores me in a couple of situations. Mainly if the fridge is opened or if someone is walking across the room with a plate of food or in the morning when I'm getting DD ready for school. At these times she's like a cannon ball, charges across the house and flattens anything in her way. Its been at these times that DD has hit the dog

So she only hits the dog when it is out of control = dog's fault.

And if you have had the dog 2 years, it really should know by now how to be around food. I have no formal dog training & neither does dh, but we have taught our dog how to behave around the girls & food. And he will happily drop for dd1 (7) and sit for dd2 (2) & doesn't tear around the house.

differentnameforthis · 27/12/2010 11:40

The more I read of your posts, the more I think that the dog is just not suited to you & your home. As heartbreaking as that is, I think it is true.

She doesn't listen to you, chases after food, acts like a 'cannonball' when you are getting dd ready for school...

If nothing else she has issues & maybe she needs not to be around small children who are incapable of leaving her be?

beachholiday · 27/12/2010 11:40

You cant simply expect to get the dog trained out of any behaviour that disturbs your daughter. There could well be an element of fear in your daughters actions. But is sounds as if you know that your daughter is acting like this towards the dog, not just at the moments she could possibly feel nervous, but when she is simply irritated, or she is even taking her frustrations out on the dog.

Leaving the dog's welfare aside for now, your daughter could really do with some help in learning some simple coping skills and how to react when she feels angry. Its not a good path for her to be going down at the moment. And it would probably be a very postive thing to do for her future, to help her learn how to cope better with her feelings at this age.

spikeycow · 27/12/2010 11:43

So looks like you are keeping the dog then. Next time your D goes for the dog you need to physically drag her away. One smack cant become a beating unless nobody intervenes. And as for your H what is he thinking, so she shouldn't be told off then? He says on the one hand he wouldn't blame the dog if she gets a bite and on the other stops you even telling her off?

beachholiday · 27/12/2010 11:44

And Iam not in the least suggesting keeping the dog around for your daughter to practise coping better, just in case my post seemed that way.

There shouldnt really be a dog in the house until your daughter has learnt to handle frustration/anxiety better, for both the dog and your daughter's sake.

Morloth · 27/12/2010 12:13

THE. DOG. IS. GOING. TO. HURT. YOUR. DD. IF. YOU. DO. NOT. ENSURE. THAT. THIS. NEVER. HAPPENS. AGAIN.

Read is slowly and carefully and get a clue.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 27/12/2010 12:25

are you seriously telling us that upon hearing exactly what you have told us teh RGT advised that the dog stay in this environment?????

Shock

i am in total shock about that. i actually don't believe they said that, and if they did, you haven't told them the full story. sorry but that is just unbelieveable.

VallhalaLalalalalalalalaaaaaa · 27/12/2010 12:28

Thank you Morloth, glad it's not just me who thinks that there is a very real chance of this happening.

And Boo, I would be very interested to hear the RGT's side of the story. Wink

TheSecondComing · 27/12/2010 12:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FakePlasticTrees · 27/12/2010 12:53

OK - have read most, but not the whole thread, so sorry if I'm missing something important but:

That dog is going to snap and hurt your child if your DD continues to treat the dog like this. A dog the size of a greyhound can do a lot of damage if she sets her mind to it.

You might tell your DD not to hurt the dog, but if you can't trust she will never do anything to upset the dog again, you have to accept you are choosing to keep a situation in your home where your DD isn't safe.

Oh, and the dog deserves a home where the dog is safe too.

LIZS · 27/12/2010 13:15

Poor dog must be very confused in your dd's presence. Sometimes they are friends sometimes she loses her temper and shouts/hits. At very best their relationship is unpredictable and yet your dd seems to feel she is in control. Unfortunately it will end in tears as one day she will push it too far. If it were someone else's child coming into your house and behaving like this with your pet, how would you react ?

OKComputer · 27/12/2010 13:25

Sorry, I haven't read many of the replies but I can't believe what I'm reading.

Your DD "terrorises" the dog and you allow this to happen?! Angry

Sign the dog over to a reputable re-homing centre immediately!

Allowing the abuse of this animal to continue is illegal. Not just terribly immoral and cruel, but illagel!

I don't understand why this has been allowed to happen.

OKComputer · 27/12/2010 13:25

Sorry, "ILLEGAL"!

pickgo · 27/12/2010 13:37

Let's get one thing straight, it's the child's welfare that is paramount in this situation.
I do feel sorry for the dog, but the child is probably just trying to assert control over a situation that is distressing her - whether it's the dog charging round, or whether it's a rival to her mother's attention and love.
In neither case is the child at fault - just being a child.
I really think OP you should remove the dog.
Presently it sounds like neither your family or home is suitable for this dog and I'd echo Morloth - it is a matter of time before something serious occurs.

pickgo · 27/12/2010 13:38

PS IMHO 90 mins exercise for a greyhound will not be enough.

spikeycow · 27/12/2010 14:06

Something serious is already occuring. The dog is being scared and hurt

OKComputer · 27/12/2010 14:12

I can't honestly believe that someone in their right mind can "Go back to bed" when there is a poor dog being tortured in their house, resulting in a potentially very dangerous situation to their child.

I don't care if anyone says I'm lacking in compassion for the OP, as, by allowing this disgraceful sitation to arise, they should be thoroughly ashamed.

PeachesandStrawberry · 27/12/2010 16:31

We've had her over 2 years and this has only been going on for about the last 4 months. The situation that I believed started it is a time when DD leaned over the dog to get to a plug socket behind the dog, dog was asleep and obviously started the dog who jumped up and snapped and caught DD on the end of the nose. Please note that DD had never hit the dog prior to this.

So this dog has already bitten the child and still the OP has decided to keep the dog.

No wonder the OP's DD has been upset with the dog. She is probably afraid that the dog is going to bite her again.