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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have 10 children

233 replies

Sapphire2012 · 24/12/2010 14:42

Hello waves I'm new around here. I'm Kirsty, mum to 10 lovely children. I'm curious as to what you honestly think of people with lots of children. I am not on any benefits and their child benefit goes into their savings accounts. (I hope this doesnt sound like I am bragging, I just hate when people assume we are scroungers, this is most definately not the case)

OP posts:
Original poster
Sapphire2012 · 24/12/2010 14:43

Oh didnt think waves would be bolded lol!

OP posts:
truffleshuffle · 24/12/2010 14:45

YANBU.
I think people should be able to have as many children as they want as long as they can..
a) pay for them and
b) look after them all properly.

I know I can afford any more and would struggle to care for any more which is why I've stopped at 3.

HappyMummyOfOne · 24/12/2010 14:49

I think as long as you only get CB (universal at present)and no tax credits, housing help etc then you can have as many as you can afford with the relevant insurances should something ever happen.

Whether or not 10 children get enough one to one time, help with homework, go to their hobbies etc is another matter and something that should be taken into account.

stropiwithbellson · 24/12/2010 14:50

Not really aibu though is it? Smile

TrillianAstra · 24/12/2010 14:50

Well if YABU then it's a but late to do anything about it, you can't exactly put them back Xmas Grin

TiredofTinsel · 24/12/2010 14:50

As long as they are all happy, why not?

violethill · 24/12/2010 14:53

If you are comfortable with having 10 children, and are able to support them, then why ask?

Some people will think you are unreasonable, on the grounds of over population and dwindling resources.

Some people will think its not a problem.

Most people will shudder at the thought of it.

PositiveAttitude · 24/12/2010 14:53

New and you have posted in AIBU. Oh dear, good luck!! Xmas Smile

As for the 10 children, lovely, I say, as long as you can care for them yourself, good on you.

hairyfairylights · 24/12/2010 15:03

I think it's none of my business, but I do wonder how one set of parents has adequate attention to give to ten.

onlyjuststillme · 24/12/2010 15:04

as long as you are looking after the children and giving them the attention and emotional support they need and you are not expecting the older ones to raise the younger ones so you dont have to then its fine.

Get it wrong though and there are are a lot of very damaged pieces to pick up- i am speaking as someone who has picked up some of the pieces here.

catinthehat2 · 24/12/2010 15:10

Ah
2012
I love that date.
It's when the world ends
Innit

MickyLee · 24/12/2010 15:12

Wow.. What a blessing! You must tell us about your daily life with 10!!! Love to hear it

bunnymother · 24/12/2010 15:13

Is that 10 pregnancies that you have endured? I doffs me hat, if so!! Same view as others re if you can afford it and look after them, it's completely up to you. You have far more patience than I, that's for sure.

SerendipitousHarlot · 24/12/2010 15:16

And me! Good luck to you. I certainly can't imagine anything worse.... Smile

amijee · 24/12/2010 15:22

I am one of nine kids. My dad worked all the hours under the sun as did my mum in the home.

I feel we were neglected somewhat as well as money being very very tight.

As adults, there are so many family rifts that I am glad I moved away.

However, if you can avoid all that - hats off to you. a big family can also be a wonderful thing.

happy xmas and good luck with 10 sets of presents under the tree!! Xmas Smile

CuppaTeaJanice · 24/12/2010 15:23

Honestly? I wouldn't judge - it's your choice (or maybe not, if the last batch were septuplets or something!). I don't understand why people would choose so many, in the same way I don't understand people who have 6 dogs or 15 cats. I like my life to be full of lots of different things, and I think it would be hard to find an enjoyable balance if there was such a hefty demand on my time, emotions and finances from my children.

SeaTrek · 24/12/2010 15:29

YANBU if you can afford them financially and give them a warm and loving home.

I think the Duggars to a wonderful job but they have many advantages that are fairly unique to America.

Personally I have one DC as that is the number that DH and I feel we can properly care for given our personalities and level of finanical comfort that we seek both for ourselves and our son.

MadamDeathstare · 24/12/2010 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

midori1999 · 24/12/2010 15:36

I think it's completely up to you if you can support them yourself. I am only 1 of 4, but would have loved more siblings. (despite not having much contact now with one brother)

I couldn't have had ten, but will soon have four DC and hope to go on to have no. 5. It's wonderful seeing the DC together.

My Gran was one of 13 children and love/loves it, despite the household always being busy when she was a child. She is one of the oldest and although she did help with the younger ones (as did I in a smaller family) she doesn't feel she brought them up and loved helping her Mum.

effymeffy · 24/12/2010 15:36

Good for you, keep enjoying them!! Don't envy your grocery bills though Xmas Grin

HelloOutThere · 24/12/2010 15:37

What made you decide to have so many?

Do you plan any more?

I have a large family in most people's mind anyway :) so am always interested in others reasons

MissAnthrope · 24/12/2010 15:45

We're sat watching Cheaper by the Dozen at the moment... have you considered a couple more Xmas Wink

mummyloveslucy · 24/12/2010 15:47

No, not unreasonable at all. maybe slightly mad and very brave.

I only have one, not through choice though. I find that's hard enough. Grin

PressureDrop · 24/12/2010 15:50

My honest, honest thoughts when I hear about people who have enormous families are usually along the lines of 'they must be bonkers!' (you did ask), but if you are happy, the kids are happy, you can cope with all the demands....well bloody done! I also doff my cap to you!

norfolkBRONZEturkey · 24/12/2010 15:54

Have you come across the 4ormore forum. You would fit in well.

MissAnthrope- my sad but true fact of the day, the author of cheaper by the dozen sadly only actually had 11 babies survive into childhood.

I quite like the idea of whistling and them all lining up