To have 10 children

[Sapphire2012]

Hello waves I'm new around here. I'm Kirsty, mum to 10 lovely children. I'm curious as to what you honestly think of people with lots of children. I am not on any benefits and their child benefit goes into their savings accounts. (I hope this doesnt sound like I am bragging, I just hate when people assume we are scroungers, this is most definately not the case)

I am really looking forward to your posts. How on earth do you cope? I have 4DCs (aged 1,2,3 and 4) and I am shattered. If you have any good tips....!!!!

If you can afford them, can look after them all properly and love them all equally I see no problem whatsoever. Good luck to you, must be very hectic. But if it works for you, then who cares what others think.

Oh, and post immediately if you get a BFP!!!!!!

Wow I would LOVE so many kids.

I'm expecting my 4th and money and space mean I can't have any more :(

Got a BFP this morning (the F meaning Faint not Fat but a pos all the same)

My mum is from a family of ten. She hated it, there was never enough time for each child, and the older children looked after the younger. She went on to have one child (me) and I've had one child too, not planning any more. But it sounds like you manage better than my grandparents, so its your choice I guess. I know it wouldn't be for me at all. In fact the very thought makes me shudder.

Sorry to be a killjoy but I do have to agree with cleofarta and actually can't believe more people don't.

All those who say that it isn't anyone elses business as long as you can afford them - of course it's our business, these children are using up our resources.

I am sure they are lovely and you sound like a great mum. But yes I think it's irresponsible and selfish and I disapprove. Sorry - but you did ask.

So you have ten kids under 12 and you are PG again?

Don't you have a television?

Are you are real or a troll? I can't decide!!!

Assuming you are real, then I think providing you aren't claiming benefits (other than CB) then its your choice, although I don't approve of older kids looking after the little ones.

I have 3 DC, I think its enough for me - I am one of four and I felt that time with my parents was more sparse than I would have liked. My 7 YO recently announced that I spend too much time with DS2 (8 months) and she wished she was an only child - I feel even with 3 children (with reasonable age gaps - 7, 4 and baby) its hard to give each individual attention.

OP: Why don't you use birth control - is it for religious reasons?

YANBU Big families are great. I have 5 from 8 pregnancies, i lost 4 babies at varying stages early and late and one pg was twins. I know that i am done now though as it is so chaotic and hard work. However, youngest DS is very hard work, if he was easy I may have been broody for a 6th? He has severe reflux and didn't sleep a wink for days on end and choked all the time to the point he stopped breathing. He is alot better with it now at 2 but is into everything, destroying eveything all day long, it's exhausting. Finding individual time is so hard and at times I feel sad i can't read stories etc to them. i don't have time for some of the stuff i did with the older ones. Still, they gain in other ways.

However I do love having 5 and it feels the right number for us. I am one of 2 and always wanted lots of brothers and sisters. My mum and dad are one of many and they didn't really like it as it was chaos, lack of space and privacy etc. Each to their own I say!

"Sorry but I don't show photos online" ummmmmm I wonder why??

tryingtobemarypoppins2 Sat 25-Dec-10 20:15:10

"Sorry but I don't show photos online" ummmmmm I wonder why??

LOADS of people don't have photos on their profiles! very FEW people have clearly visable hotos of themselves on here.

ummmm true, but in the spirit of christmas (and proving non troll status ;) ) I thought OP might make an exception

If you are not on benefits, you must be working, so who is looking after your 10 children? How many nannies do you pay?

I am keen to know what salary a couple must have in order to clothe, house, feed and transport 10 kids in an 8 bed house, 2 cars and one minibus.

Dont tell me you are putting them all through private school?

Food shopping alone must be over £250 per week??

8 bed home - min £650,000??

Cost of 2 7 seat espaces assume second hand £12,000??

Mind boggles....

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1078246/Families-12-difference-One-lives-Dads-15-000-wage--neighbours-32-000-benefits-complain.html

Makes interesting reading!

I actually think the environmental argument is pretty lame. There are loads of things that are overlooked when people talk about green issues - I think people just pick and choose their green ideologies.

I must say, I agree with other posters - it's not a question of reasonable or unreasonable. I have total fascination for the OP's lifestyle, despite coming from a large family myself. We certainly didn't have the house or the cars and were poor but we did have each other. Also, my sibs and I are much more spaced out - I can't believe they are all under 12!

I have 3 kids under the age of 5 and I am struggling with this and working full time. The main reason for the struggle is "having no life for myself" as I call it and the lack of "me" time. I also struggle with the sleep deprivation which will be much much worse when I go back to work after maternity leave.

Please forgive me if I am wrong but I get the feeling that "me time" isn't as important for you...so possibly you have never really had an identity of your own as you were so young when you started your childcare career? That's the worst bit for me - I feel like I have lost a lot of my identity as I am so busy taking care of the needs of three kids - I can't imagine how hard it would be caring for the needs of 10.

You sound like a very dedicated mother and I'm sure your kids are content and happy. That's all that really counts isn't it?

I think you must be mad but I mean that in a nice way! It would be my idea of hell but you sound very happy so who am I to judge you?

I think to be honest that as long as your children are loved, cared for, and that you can provide for them yourself then you should have as many children as you like.

Congrats on your BFP by the way!

arf at cleofartra.
cleo do you recycle all your clothes? walk everywhere, refrain from flying anywhere, grow all your own food etc?

i bet not.

OP i am in awe of you.

two questions i have is how do you make sure all your children get enough one to one with both you and your DH? and do all your children have opportunity to develop their own interests, like football, scouts, dancing etc? (not so much the smaller ones but the school age ones?) i only have two dcs and sometimes i even feel i can't manage to fit everything in. however i would love to have a large family but it aint gonna happen. i hope you had a great xmas.

That Daily Mail article is rubbish, the self righteous mothern saying she would never scrounge . A quick swizz through entitled to shows they would be getting minimum £646 a week/£33000 a year in benefits. Funnily enough, pretty much the same as the "dosser" family.

not exactly sure what is interesting about that article.

congrats on the pregnancy OP!!

marypoppins that article is interesting but I find it rather hard to believe. With a family income of 15000 they would be entitled to hb, child tax credit, working tax credit and free school meals as well as CB. Either they are claiming more benefits than the article let's on, earn more, or aren't claiming what they are entitled to. It is in the daily mail though..

Your answers to my questions are very defensive, OP. I don't think, therefore, that you meant to post in AIBU.

Pregnant again ! Can't help but feel a little jealous, even though we don't plan any more. Are you extroadinarily tired in the first few weeks? I was with all three of mine. Hope all goes well .