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AIBU?

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Original poster

I am so angry!

523 replies

KateEllis · 01/12/2010 16:36

At the end of September my DD (age 7) was cast as Cinderella in the school panto. The school takes these things VERY seriously so they have had lots of after school sessions etc. I was very pleased for my daughter because she was so excited (please note I did not care about her having a lead role, I just want her to be happy). She has had loads of lines to learn but has been brilliant and learnt them all, on top of learning two solo songs and 4 other songs and attended every after school rehersal. I had also made one of her costumes and bought another. The panto was due to be next friday, then the falling monday and tuesday.

However today this happened. I was waiting in the yard to collect her and her younger sister, when she came out of school I could see it looked like she was on the verge of tears, I asked her what was wrong and she said 'I'm not Cinderella anymore'.
At first my initial thought was, as she was ill yesterday mybe somebody covered for her and she was a bit confused. I asked this but she insisted the part had been given to another little girl.
Her teacher was in the yard so I went over to speak to her.
I just said dd is a bit upset because she thinks she is no longer playing cinderella.
Her teacher said "That's right she isn't"
I asked why and she said
"Well she was off yesterday, and I expect people who are given big parts to show a commitment. It is also to show her that good attendance is a must"
Yesterday was the first day my daughter has had off this year!!!!!!
She also said she has given another girl the part and now this little girl has to learn everything by next friday which just seems impossible for a 7 yo, and as I said the school will expect this girl to learn all the lines as they take drama productions extremely seriously.

My daughter is so upset and I am so angry, up until today her teacher and others have been coming up to me in the yard and saying how great she is doing now they have completely devastated her after all the effort she has put in. She now has no part at all, as its a whole school production all parts are taken up.

I am so angry Angry and upset for my poor daughter who hasn't stopped crying Sad

OP posts:
MaDugHerDecsOut · 01/12/2010 16:38

It does seem a bit unreasonable! Seems a huge punishment for a small child taking 1 day off.

Cant she take on the role that the new "star" has left?

Trubert · 01/12/2010 16:39

Why was she off?

BeerTricksPotter · 01/12/2010 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QueenGigantaurofMnet · 01/12/2010 16:42

jeez! i would be furious.
actually i think i would contact the local paper over that.

i may even remove her from the school if that is there attitude. 100% or nothing.

That is disgusting behaviour and an appauling way to treat a young girl.

overmydeadbody · 01/12/2010 16:43

I can see why you are angry!!

The teacher is being ridiculous, and very unprofessional.

I would go and speak to the head personally.

This is a very big deal, not a last minute school assembly, the teacher can't just change the cast on a whim.

Why was your DD off school?

SandStorm · 01/12/2010 16:43

I would say that's completely out of order and an urgent meeting with the teacher and possibly the head is in order. Your daughter presumably had a genuine reason for being off and to punish her for this (which is what is being done) is way over the top and unacceptable.

overmydeadbody · 01/12/2010 16:43

In fact, call the head NOW, she/he will still be in school.

peeringintothevoid · 01/12/2010 16:43

YANBU! That sounds incredibly cruel.

Why was she off school yesterday. I take it you rang the school to let them know?

Have you spoken to the head?

spikeycow · 01/12/2010 16:44

how horrible

classydiva · 01/12/2010 16:44

That is really unreasonable, so a child is not allowed to be sick? I would email the Head of the school and voice your opinion.

sparkle12mar08 · 01/12/2010 16:44

Call the head immediately, this is a ridiculous situation.

TheCrackFox · 01/12/2010 16:45

YANBU

The teacher seems to have lost all sense of perspective.

flamingpants · 01/12/2010 16:45

That is truly awful. I would complain, she is so young to be 'taught' a lesson like that. Has put her heart and soul into it and frankly it is an effing school panto. If she'd been booked off for two weeks I'd understand. Also I'd be furious if I was other girl's parent (unless it was the two week sign off).

Best I stop typing because I'm really angry for you and will rant like she's my daughter. Angry for you both.

lollipopshoes · 01/12/2010 16:46

YADNBU.

This is absolutely outrageous behaviour from the school!

Apart from anything else, I doubt very much it was your dd's choice to not go to school... I imagine she was ill and you kept her off, but even if you decided you couldn't be bothered doing the school run and kept her off school, it was still your decision and not hers, to punish her in this way is absolutely out of order.

I think I agree with Queen who says take her out of school completely if they don't reinstate her immediately.

backwardpossom · 01/12/2010 16:47

Wow, that sounds really really bizarre. Definitely phone the head.

scoobytoo · 01/12/2010 16:47

Why was your daughter off school?
YANBU

spiderlight · 01/12/2010 16:47

That's outrageous!! Poor little love. I'd be having very strong words with the head.

ShanahansRevenge · 01/12/2010 16:48

Get in there and KICK OFF! I would be MAD! It's wrong on so many levels...is the school a private one?

Original poster
KateEllis · 01/12/2010 16:50

I was thinking of ringing the head but just wanted to see another adults opinion (my husband is still at work) in case I was being blinded by anger!
She was off yesterday because she had a stomach upset, it only lasted 24 hrs and she was excited to get back to school because of the panto. I am going to ring the head and see what she says.

OP posts:
IsItMeOr · 01/12/2010 16:50

She was off yesterday because she was ill, and they took her part away?!

Surely there must be some misunderstanding, otherwise the teacher is deranged.

Hope you get this sorted, as it is horrendously unfair otherwise.

lollipopshoes · 01/12/2010 16:52

you may also want to ask what the school's policy is on children attending school after a d & v bug - most schools have either a 24 hour or 48 hour rule, ie: they can't go back to school for a full day or two days after they have been clear of any symptoms.

Ask the head if they would rather you had sent in a pukey, diahorreah-y (sp) child to avoid this ridiculous "punishment"

Ormirian · 01/12/2010 16:53

What?

Poor little girl. Quite wrong.

wannaBe · 01/12/2010 16:53

is it a private school?

AllGoodNamesGone · 01/12/2010 16:54

YA soooooooo NBU.

Contact the head, but presumably they all know about it. I honestly don't know if I could have her continue at that school if they don't reverse this decision.

Could understand if she was having time off every couple of weeks for various lame reasons but one day in the middle of winter for a genuine illness Shock after all the hard work she's put in. Poor little thing.

Totally unfair.

gorionine · 01/12/2010 16:55

That is really not on. Not miss school for nothing yes but was the teacher really expecting you to send your DD to school with a stomach bug?She most definitely is BU, not you!