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AIBU?

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Original poster

I am so angry!

523 replies

KateEllis · 01/12/2010 16:36

At the end of September my DD (age 7) was cast as Cinderella in the school panto. The school takes these things VERY seriously so they have had lots of after school sessions etc. I was very pleased for my daughter because she was so excited (please note I did not care about her having a lead role, I just want her to be happy). She has had loads of lines to learn but has been brilliant and learnt them all, on top of learning two solo songs and 4 other songs and attended every after school rehersal. I had also made one of her costumes and bought another. The panto was due to be next friday, then the falling monday and tuesday.

However today this happened. I was waiting in the yard to collect her and her younger sister, when she came out of school I could see it looked like she was on the verge of tears, I asked her what was wrong and she said 'I'm not Cinderella anymore'.
At first my initial thought was, as she was ill yesterday mybe somebody covered for her and she was a bit confused. I asked this but she insisted the part had been given to another little girl.
Her teacher was in the yard so I went over to speak to her.
I just said dd is a bit upset because she thinks she is no longer playing cinderella.
Her teacher said "That's right she isn't"
I asked why and she said
"Well she was off yesterday, and I expect people who are given big parts to show a commitment. It is also to show her that good attendance is a must"
Yesterday was the first day my daughter has had off this year!!!!!!
She also said she has given another girl the part and now this little girl has to learn everything by next friday which just seems impossible for a 7 yo, and as I said the school will expect this girl to learn all the lines as they take drama productions extremely seriously.

My daughter is so upset and I am so angry, up until today her teacher and others have been coming up to me in the yard and saying how great she is doing now they have completely devastated her after all the effort she has put in. She now has no part at all, as its a whole school production all parts are taken up.

I am so angry Angry and upset for my poor daughter who hasn't stopped crying Sad

OP posts:
Rhinestone · 01/12/2010 18:39

If it's a private school then they are outside local authority control.

Can you name and shame and start a Facebook campaign or something?

MadamDeathstare · 01/12/2010 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorldsSlowestTypist · 01/12/2010 18:41

Absolutely Hero - I suggested earlier. Double casting is the way to go!

mathanxiety · 01/12/2010 18:41

I agree with those suggesting there is skullduggery afoot here.

twirlymum · 01/12/2010 18:43

Maybe they are using this as an excuse? Maybe the other girl's parents have made a considerable 'donation' to let their daughter be Cinderella.
Just a thought.

Grumpla · 01/12/2010 18:43

Is your daughter's teacher by any chance?

What a fucking loon. If I were you I would remove her from the school. It sounds like the teacher and the head have NO IDEA about how to deal with children at all.

RustyBear · 01/12/2010 18:46

What happens if the new Cinderella gets sick for a day....?

Would they give the part to another girl with perfect attendance?

Tikkabillajive · 01/12/2010 18:48

Just wanted to add my support on this - I would be FURIOUS if it was my child and you must feel so upset for your poor little girl. What the school has done does not make any sense at all - you did absolutely the right thing keeping her off with a sickness bug. It sounds like you are handling it brilliantly and rationally. I'm sure that if it was me I'd have burst into tears on the phone to the head! Hope you manage to get a satisfactory outcome.

perfumeditsawonderfullife · 01/12/2010 18:50

Poor wee girl! What a terrible attitude.

Save The Cinders 1

mumbar · 01/12/2010 18:52

Oh your poor DD Sad.

I would look into the whole no cisckness policy too - probably somewhere in their actions today and rewarding good attendance is a breach of the disabilty and disriminations act. IE a child with chronic conditions - under the schools regeme- would never get the chance of certain roles.

Hope it all gets sorted.

mumbar · 01/12/2010 18:52

ciskness = sickness Grin

Bahhhumbug · 01/12/2010 18:55

Yes Mumbar thats the one ! Thats what BT my old employer gave as part of their reason for phasing out attendance bonus/reward.

My DGD - 10yrs - has Cystic Fibrosis bless her and she has played several major parts at her mainstream school. I would hate her to attend such a school with their attitude - would break my heart.

peeringintothevoid · 01/12/2010 18:56

I'm so glad your DH is taking this seriously as well; maybe he'll be more receptive now to her going to another school. Even if you get this horrible teacher to back down, do you really want this woman teaching your DD any more, knowing that if she's so petty and unfair, she's probably not above taking things out on your poor DD? And if your DD does have problems, how would you be able to trust that the head has her best interests as heart?

I totally think you chould go to the papers about this, and I agree with the conspiracy theories about the new cinders' backhanding mater & pater Grin

warthog · 01/12/2010 19:00

that is simply illogical.

NonnoMum · 01/12/2010 19:03

Read the first post, and thought, must be a private school! Then read whole thread and was true!

The poshos love to be a bit cruel. 'Tis character building, you see...

And I bet there is also a place at your local state school.

And for your other child too.

V sorry for your daughter... Sad

thenightsky · 01/12/2010 19:05

Your poor DD Sad

The whole situation smells more fishy than a very fishy thing to me.

VivaLeBeaver · 01/12/2010 19:10

How the hell can a headteacher think its OK to punish a 7yo for having an upset stomach? Would they rather you'd sent her in and potentially passed the bug onto the whole school.

I'd be tempted to look for another school. Not because of the part in the play as such as in the grand scheme of a child's education that's fairly minor (though obviously important to a child). But because the head of the school sounds bonkers.

anyone3 · 01/12/2010 19:12

There is something odd about this. YOur poor DD, what a cruel thing to do to a little girl Sad

clam · 01/12/2010 19:14

At this meeting, tell them that there will be no "compromise," as it was entirely their bad management that brought about this appalling state of affairs.
You will accept nothing less than your DD being reinstated in her part. If that's upsetting to the other child, then tough. she's had 24 hours to get into the part. Your DD has had most of the term.
No debate.

Rhinestone · 01/12/2010 19:16

Breaking the news to the replacement Cinderella is their problem - do not allow them to msake it your problem.

staranise · 01/12/2010 19:18

They would really prefer you to send in a sick child?! Absolutely indefensible attitude.

Your poor DD, cannot believe that the school can be so cruel. I'm afraid I also thought immediately it must be a private school.

gingerwig · 01/12/2010 19:22

Unanimous outrage on Mumsnet!

What a cruel thing to do to a little child.

PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice · 01/12/2010 19:26

I dont get the bit about there being no part left for the original cinders now - surely there must be the part vacated by the new cinders?

NOT that i think this is right or fair - absolutely barking!

I think someone has cocked up the casting in the fisrt place and they never intended your DD to be the star, but thats their problem

poor DD

clutterqueen · 01/12/2010 19:26

Woah am livid for you. Keep us updated.

unfitmother · 01/12/2010 19:28

Wow! That's terrible