I am so angry!

[KateEllis]

At the end of September my DD (age 7) was cast as Cinderella in the school panto. The school takes these things VERY seriously so they have had lots of after school sessions etc. I was very pleased for my daughter because she was so excited (please note I did not care about her having a lead role, I just want her to be happy). She has had loads of lines to learn but has been brilliant and learnt them all, on top of learning two solo songs and 4 other songs and attended every after school rehersal. I had also made one of her costumes and bought another. The panto was due to be next friday, then the falling monday and tuesday.

However today this happened. I was waiting in the yard to collect her and her younger sister, when she came out of school I could see it looked like she was on the verge of tears, I asked her what was wrong and she said 'I'm not Cinderella anymore'.
At first my initial thought was, as she was ill yesterday mybe somebody covered for her and she was a bit confused. I asked this but she insisted the part had been given to another little girl.
Her teacher was in the yard so I went over to speak to her.
I just said dd is a bit upset because she thinks she is no longer playing cinderella.
Her teacher said "That's right she isn't"
I asked why and she said
"Well she was off yesterday, and I expect people who are given big parts to show a commitment. It is also to show her that good attendance is a must"
Yesterday was the first day my daughter has had off this year!!!!!!
She also said she has given another girl the part and now this little girl has to learn everything by next friday which just seems impossible for a 7 yo, and as I said the school will expect this girl to learn all the lines as they take drama productions extremely seriously.

My daughter is so upset and I am so angry, up until today her teacher and others have been coming up to me in the yard and saying how great she is doing now they have completely devastated her after all the effort she has put in. She now has no part at all, as its a whole school production all parts are taken up.

I am so angry and upset for my poor daughter who hasn't stopped crying

They don't want to upset the other girl be taking a part off her that she's had for one day? what about the upset caused to your daughter? Does the drama teacher even like children?

Oh PLEASE let's have a picture in the local paper of your DD in her Cinders costume - looking sad and dejected. Looking forlornly at a copy of the school prospectus.

oh go on, name the school where their policy is that throwing up is not a good enough reason to stay off school.

Crikey. My son recently had two days off after being in a car accident. I guess he'd be relegated backstage by that principle? What a load of crap, don't let this lie. Your poor daughter.

Sorry but the HT sounds just as barking as the teacher. Good luck!

I am joining the reinstate Cinders1 campaing!

Bloody hell - what a cruel teacher. You need to take her on and report her to the Head and the Governors.

There's always a few nasty bastards attracted to teaching.

Who has the part of Cinders gone to? The daughter of someone who has given a whacking donation to the school very recently..... or who has "influence" in some other way.

To "punish" a child for being sick is utterly outrageous. Surely it would have been worse to send your dd in and risk the bug spreading round the classroom so that the whole panto was in jeopardy? Is this school really saying that they want sick children to attend???

Definitely bring it up with the govenors...

What an awful school. Needs naming and shaming.

Bloody hell, this is a shit thing to happen.

YADNBU! for you and your DD!

What a fucking stupid school. Sorry, but if this was me, I'd whip her out of there. This could be a sign of things to come in the future and you do not want your DD learning lessons of unfairness in this way.

Please keep us updated.

And yes, I would be looking very closely at exactly which child has the part now. I'd bet my bank balance on it being someone with school 'connections'.

They are mad! What cruel, cruel people to 'punish' a 7 year old child in this way. Surely rewarding good attendance is fair enough, but how on earth can you punish a child for missing a day due to throwing up?

I would have serious reservations about keeping my child at that school. I had a sneak at your profile - it seems they are being very shortsighted in pissing you off (and many congratulations with your pregnancy).

This is so unfair. I have a 7 year old daughter and she is chilled about most things but this would upset her I am sure (though she would try to be pleased for the new Cinderella, too good this child).

YANBU the school is.

Thank you for all the support :)
DH has just come home he is also furious. We will be going in to see the head tomorrow and insist that the meeting is this week.
Will be writing a letter tonight to the governors.
Won't contact paper until after meeting, I think I may be finding my children a new school soon.

I don't really want to name the school - only for the sake of my daughter, IYKWIM.

Thanks again for all the support, have to go and console my poor little girl now.

Seems to be common practice in elitist establishments. I know of boys in DS choir who are given parts which they practice and then they are taken off them to be given to someone with a better voice!

How very strange. Why would a child need to be punished for taking a (single!) day off sick?

If she was older and there was any reason to think she'd been truanting then maybe but that clearly is not the case here.

Emphasise that she needs to be given the part back ASAP as the longer they take to do it the harder it will be on the other girl.

If it's a private school then it will probably be a registered charity. I would tell them that you are going to report them to the Charities Commission for....something! They are effectively discriminating against one of their beneficiaries (your DD) due to ill health.

I might be spouting twaddle but am furious for your DD - are there any lawyerly types out there who can put my ramblings in to legal language?

P.S. Private schools are very twitchy about their charitable status as there has been much discussion recently about ending it - as let's face it, they're not reeeaaalllly charities are they.

And you pay for this treatment?

Oh no poor thing, this brings back a memory for me...(cue sob story)

When I was in Year 6, I was given lead alien in the Christmas play, (very forward thinking school for the times!) learnt all my lines and everyone elses. I was very precocious enthusiastic. Anyway to cut a long story short I was ill and had time off (my first at the school, my mum sent us in unless we were on the verge of being hospitalised). When I got back...they had given my part to someone else.

I cried and cried and got myself into such a state they had to ring my mum to come and pick me up. I was gutted and she didn't give me the part back, however, she was ok for me to learn all the instruments to go with the songs.

Fight for your daughter to get her part back if it really is for a valid reason and she knows all her lines. However, there is now another little girl who will be devastated if she gets the part taken away.

Ooh teachers like that make me cross if that is the full story.

YANBU, but you need to give the head an exit strategy she can sign up to.

Are there several performances? Could you suggest that your DD and the other Cinders take turns?

This is utterly shocking, I am seeing red for you here. Unbelievably cruel, your poor dd :(

Would they really prefer to have a child with a stomach bug in school just for their attendance figures? ffs. Unbelievable.

Yes do contact the governors, and if no joy the local authority because that is just wrong on so many levels I can't even begin to describe.