I am so angry!

[KateEllis]

At the end of September my DD (age 7) was cast as Cinderella in the school panto. The school takes these things VERY seriously so they have had lots of after school sessions etc. I was very pleased for my daughter because she was so excited (please note I did not care about her having a lead role, I just want her to be happy). She has had loads of lines to learn but has been brilliant and learnt them all, on top of learning two solo songs and 4 other songs and attended every after school rehersal. I had also made one of her costumes and bought another. The panto was due to be next friday, then the falling monday and tuesday.

However today this happened. I was waiting in the yard to collect her and her younger sister, when she came out of school I could see it looked like she was on the verge of tears, I asked her what was wrong and she said 'I'm not Cinderella anymore'.
At first my initial thought was, as she was ill yesterday mybe somebody covered for her and she was a bit confused. I asked this but she insisted the part had been given to another little girl.
Her teacher was in the yard so I went over to speak to her.
I just said dd is a bit upset because she thinks she is no longer playing cinderella.
Her teacher said "That's right she isn't"
I asked why and she said
"Well she was off yesterday, and I expect people who are given big parts to show a commitment. It is also to show her that good attendance is a must"
Yesterday was the first day my daughter has had off this year!!!!!!
She also said she has given another girl the part and now this little girl has to learn everything by next friday which just seems impossible for a 7 yo, and as I said the school will expect this girl to learn all the lines as they take drama productions extremely seriously.

My daughter is so upset and I am so angry, up until today her teacher and others have been coming up to me in the yard and saying how great she is doing now they have completely devastated her after all the effort she has put in. She now has no part at all, as its a whole school production all parts are taken up.

I am so angry and upset for my poor daughter who hasn't stopped crying

I like "mansplaining".

only caught up with your last post but well done Kate and i am thrilled that your DD can get into a new school in the new term

agree re not justifying yourself - havent read the relevant post but we all knew you were doing it for the right reasons

Good luck Kate!

As a teacher myself I think that is terrible pratice for the teacher, sounds like she is far too interested in impressing the parents to me. My "Mary" has been off all week but she is still in (we do have an understudy ready to step in) as she can't be held responsible for illness.

I think you need to let both the Head and Head of Key Stage know what has gone on and emphasise the effort your daughter has put in, her previous good conduct and your own contribution (money and time). Also ask for the costume you bought back as well as the one you made if she isn't reinstated.

I know it sounds petty but this woman sounds like a loon

Just popping back to say WELL DONE KateEllis! The Beastly foe is vanquished! Here's hoping your dd rocks the panto and you find a cracking school for her next term.

Well done OP! I wish I had had your guts and determination several years ago when a couple of similar incidents happened to my DC at a "well respected" private prep school! You rock!

Poor old Cinders 2, having such a horrible pushy cow for a mother. Glad to hear she wasn't upset but, even if she had been, it's important for her and all the other children to see that when someone works really hard for months on a project, you don't boot them off at the last minute and give all the credit to someone else because they were genuinely sick for one day (!)

Hurrah!

Can I also say well done. I really think you should print this thread off and send it to Ofsted. They may be interested.

Wow! And well done KateEllis. Am I the only one hoping that Pushymum is reading this and seething?

If you are, you need to buy yourself some manners.

No - I also wonder whether Pushymum is on MN.
[waves and thumbs nose]

kungfu I think we killed the thread

Good luck with the new school.

Phew I can exhale now - havent taken a breath since starting reading this. I think you and your husband were utterly utterly brilliant and handled it so well. I dont know you and still was incandescent with rage on your behalf. I cant believe how well you held it together. I would still go to the governors and the papers with this - absolutely appaling treatment of a 7 yr old. ONE day off??!! Seriously - I would have at least one of their jobs for this - they are not fit to be teacher/head and the governors should be made aware. SO thrilled for your little girl but beware - that teacher may be super nasty to her.

Is today the first performance? BEST OF LUCK CINDERS 1!!!!!

Amazing thread - so glad to hear about the result.

If they had said in September 'right you've got these roles but a single day's absence will mean you lose them' no one would've bothered learning their lines.

Losing a role for so little is ridiculous so it makes sense in a sad and twisted way that it only happened because of a pushy parent behind it. Actually that's not entirely true - it couldn't have happened at all if the school had been stronger. Even if they were 'bribeable' surely it would be better to select children for parts on that basis much earlier? I can't see what good they thought it would do anyone (including Cinders2) by allowing the swap so late. Bad for the kids, bad for the play, bad feeling all round.

Given the situation (that you weren't particularly happy about the school in the first place), a move sounds sensible.

Hoping for an update from KateEllis on how cinders is getting on with the actual performances!!

Hi everyone sorry for such a late update been a very busy week! Just to say she did really well and had lots and lots of compliments, but most importantly really enjoyed herself!

I have had a reply from the governors saying that they have reviewed my letter and will be holding a meeting with the head and teacher concerned, they said they also will be instating a sickness policy and reviewing how attendance is dealt with. I am invited to meet with them in the new year to discuss the outcomes, so that should be interesting.

Have also had good news about the local state school - they have three places available for my DC!
DS is especially happy as he had settled the least in the current school but already has friends in the local school from sport clubs etc.

Once again just want to say thanks for all the support I have had, you all really showed me I was doing the right thing and have given lots of helpful tips!

YANBU can you speak to the head.

Thanks for the update, and I'm glad to hear it's all going so well. Have fun at that meeting in the new year

And again - well done you!!

so glad your DD enjoyed herself, thats the main thing! will be interesting to hear the outcomes - will you please come back and tell us? (ESP if anyone gets sacked )

That's wonderful news about the local state school. I feel sure dcs will be happy there. And good news about previous school starting a sickness policy.

I do admire you for being such a strong woman and fighting for your dd, and getting things done! You would be an asset to the local school PTA! (if you so choose). Your dcs know you and your DH have worked as a team to help dc and that will make them feel safe for the future.

That's wonderful - well done to DD for a great show, and best of luck in the new school! :)