to think this is really wrong

[orator]

I've got a friend who has 2 DS's and her H is sailing obsessed. Nearly every weekend in the spring/summer they take them down to Wales where they have a caravan and a boat and they go sailing. The kids don't really like it particulary the youngest but they are made to do it regardless. She says that the husband works hard and that his wages pay for their education (they go to private school) and so he deserves to pursue his hobby.
AIBU to think this is really wrong or do you agree with her

Maybe they have the whole of the autumn and winter electrik-I don't see why life has to be child centred all the time. Since the shopping malls are full of DCs at the weekend, mostly whining because they don't want to be there,I think that boats, caravans and water are a better option.
If all they have to complain about as an adult was weekends caravanning and sailing in Wales there wasn't much wrong!!

How many children do you know who want to spend their weekends in a caravan 100 miles away from where they live. I can't think of anything worse for a 7 and a 9 year old to be doing.

I would have loved it!

You might have done but I wouldn't have, my dcs wouldn't and the children who are being forced to do it don't either.

I otoh can't think of anything worse for a 7 and 9 yo than spend every bloody weekends traipsing around the shopping malls. Thankfully, my parents did not see shopping as entertainment so we did the outdoor stuff instead: skiing in winter, sailing in summer. And no, we didn't particularly get asked if we were interested, that was what all families did where we lived. Children were supposed to be outdoors during the daylight hours whenever they were not at school; anything else would have been considered almost neglect.

It was what we did as DCs too Cory and it is the things that bond a family-the wet cold unpleasant ones are the funniest. I feel sorry for poor DCs if weekends in Wales is thought a violation of their rights to sit in front of the TV and computer and to be taken to the supermarket.
My DCs might not have liked to have been forced taken out on the fells walking all day but it did them good and they enjoy it now.
All DCs would benefit from being forced to have physical exercise in the great outdoors. I don't know any who don't blossom on outward bound type things-once they get away from parents pandering to their every wish!

I think this sounds very worrying. The father by the sounds of it earns a large salary and so imposes his will and activities upon the children probably by telling them how much their school fees are and how hard he has to work to earn the money to pay them so the children have to do regardless of whether they want to or they enjoy it.

I absolutely love MN-child cruelty to take DCs away sailing in the sunshine! All sorts of words and attitudes put in front of a father who is introducing them to his favourite hobby.
Fantastic -keep them coming!!

My parents did exactly the same, they used to make us go sailing in wales if the wind wasn't right then we'd get trudged round boatyards and boat shops. We both hated and resented them for it, my brother particulary. My brother and my parents are estranged and this is one of the main reasons why, my parents have never seen their granddaughter. I can't say I blame him too much either I don't have much warmth for them either so the OPs friend better beware consistantly forcing your children to do things against their own will will only build resentment later in life.

Your DD may well take after your parents-it is just as likely as taking after you! If they ever get together they may be able to have a bonding session saying how they don't understand you! It is a possibility!

I doubt my brother will have a bonding session with them anytime soon. As for them saying they don't understand us I don't see how hard it is to understand when someone keeps telling them they don't like it but are forced to do it regardless.

I can accept that reratio but we don't know anything much from OP-other than she is probably jealous.

It is however a distinct possibility-given the gene pool that grandchildren may get on much better than the children.

You really can't think of anything worse for middle class children than going away for weekends for their parents?

How nice for you to be so innocent.

Better ring the NSPCC, poor darlings are suffering terribly.

It always makes me smile when people can't stand MIL and don't see that they may well produce a mini MIL!! I think there is far more in nature than nurture.

I still think that if all you have to complain about is being dragged around boatyards you had it lucky-I wouldn't even begin to compare it to the poor DCs living with neglect and abuse.

Of course I'm just saying to all the posters who are saying that its nothing or that it sounds great to them that that isn't a reason for them to continue to do it every weekend if the kids don't like it. You might regret it in the future as the kids won't forgive you for it.

pisces- Just because its not neglect or worthy of calling the NSPCC doesn't mean its good.

Are there really people who 'can't forgive' their parents for making them do things that were a bit uninteresting to them when they were kids? Fucking hell what a bunch of whinyarses! If your lives are miserable now, it's not because you were a bit bored in chiodhood, it's because you are whinyarses and probably continue to blame everything that goes wrong on someone else.

I think the parents do run the risk of putting their kids off what - more sensitively developed - could be something they'd love in due course too, which is a shame.

'I think my problem is they are both in school from 8-5 during the week and are dragged off to wales every weekend during the summer.' If they are at private school, then they'll have at least two months off during the summer holidays. Thus, the dcs can do 'their' thing during the week and have a weekend away. They are lucky that their Dad has a hobby that all the family can do, and also that they are being trained in how to be safe around water. My Dad's hobby was refereeing football matches....

my mother dragged me round oldham market when i was a kid. i hated it.

its what parents do.

i drag my kids to have xmas dinner with the inlaws they don't particularly care for. tough.

and i lied to them about santa.

i can't get over people who whinge about how they are distressed for life becuase they found out their parents lied about santa. makes me piss