to think this is really wrong

[orator]

I've got a friend who has 2 DS's and her H is sailing obsessed. Nearly every weekend in the spring/summer they take them down to Wales where they have a caravan and a boat and they go sailing. The kids don't really like it particulary the youngest but they are made to do it regardless. She says that the husband works hard and that his wages pay for their education (they go to private school) and so he deserves to pursue his hobby.
AIBU to think this is really wrong or do you agree with her

I think it is only on MN where you could get posters saying that it is cruel to take DCs caravanning and sailing in Wales in spring and summer!!
We have only heard it from someone who hasn't been with them. They can't be sailing all waking hours-they must have time for other activities and there must be days without wind or too much wind. I expect the poor little things are also forced to eat out sometimes and maybe forced to swim, paddle and explore rock pools! What can the parents be thinking of-they could be taking them to B&Q to buy wallpaper!

Hmmm. Depends on whether the whole family revolves around the hobbies, interests and desires of the Big Daddy who earns the money. I do think there's something a little suspect about every single weekend being taken up by the hobby of this bloke - what about everyone else's hobbies? If it's something the family do as a whole and they have a few weekends off here and there because the pursuits of other members of the family are just as important, then YABU. If he is the Cock of the Walk and no-one else in the family is allowed to step outside the parameters of what he decides is what they should all be doing, then no, it's not all right.

pisces - I agree!

What we have got here is one nosy woman who for some reason has taken offence at the lifestyle of one of her friends, and has come online to moan about it to a bunch of total strangers! Bizarre, especially for a first post.

People read a lot into OP-we have no idea-for all we know DH spends the entire autumn and winter driving around to football fixtures every week for the DCs. Maybe DW forces them to go skiing in January. We simply don't know.

OP is jealous-of the education and the weekends! Anyway-that is my reading of it-probably as completely wrong as anyone else's reading!

I think she is jealous too, but there we are!

I am jealous too!

I can't think of a worse holiday than sailing in the UK, except perhaps surfing brrrrrrr!

YANBU I think its sounds horribly selfish of the dad to take his children away to Wales every weekend to pursue a hobby that they don't even like. Resentment may build up as tundra has said

piscesmoon- I don't blame my sister really as any objection to my parents about it was ignored and we were told we were being ungrateful. I do allow my ds to do it with them but only occaisonally and if he tells me he doesn't like it then that will be the end of it and I don't care what they think.

YABU

DH is very active in world of sidecar motocross.

DS isn't that interested in moto X, sadly for DH, but still comes in the camper for long weekends and ends up having fun mixing with other kids, exploring, BBQs loads of things. Last summer he ended up catching lots of crickets with another kid.

Much better than lurking around home watching dvds or whatever. Tis good for kids to realise that their desires aren't always top priority too IMO.

Maybe the parents see it as `family time' which is really important even if the kids don't like it. I agree everything seems to revolve around what kids want these days and it shouldn't.

Your DS will probably love it Tundra-things often jump a generation e.g. my mother loves team sports, she has 3 DCs who hate them and 6 grandchildren who love them!
The DCs in question must be young, as soon as they are older they will be able to stay in the caravan and read a book or find something that interests them, other than sailing. I doubt whether he would want 2 resentful teenagers in the boat. (by then they will probably love it!)

Kids in not getting everything their own way shocker!

Parents have interests and hobbies-another shocker!

YABU, I don't think children should be doing what they want all the time at all. Parents are people too.

I used to have to go to work with my Dad and he was an optician so I had to sit in a dark room. Or with my Mam who was an estate agent and we had to sit in the attic of her shop and be silent when she had a customer.

I don't think that children should get it all their own way but I think there a world of difference between parents spending time doing things they like and taking the kids away for whole weekends in Wales doing things that they don't even like.

YANBU I think its shocking that they just take their children away for nearly every weekend in spring/summer to do something they don't even enjoy doing.

Quite right electrik-let them sit all day in front of computer-fresh air and exercise is bad for them.

sorry- are not is.

If they don't like it then I don't think the parents should totally override them and force them to do it anyway. DH likes football so he started to take DD, she didn't like it so he stopped because she wasn't enjoying it. Similarly dd goes to drama class but the time she says she doesn't like it then she won't go. Ramming it down their throat will more likely lead to them hating it.

pisces- Tey shouldn't just put them in front of a computer but couldn't they find something to do that they all enjoy instead of just imposing their will on the children.

Well my dd gets to watch Cbeebies whilst I do house work and shopping. At least they get fresh air and exercise! When I was little, especially in the winter, we just sat in the house the whole time. And there was no kids tv apart from Batman on a Sunday. I didn't die or grow up with a chip on my shoulder about it.

Life revolves far too much about what the kids want imho. And whilst my dd does do much more than watch tv really there should be a balance...

don't be ridiculous,.. how is this really wrong?
I take it you are the mum btw... otherwise why else would you have even given it brainspace.?