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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to prefer changing nappies rather than battle potty training?

221 replies

Cadpat · 22/11/2010 06:07

MIL thinks I am being a lazycow laid back parent.

Backstory, DD turns 3 next month, and we've had two aborted attempts at potty training. She knows the theory, will ocasionally go on the potty, tells me as soon as she's done a poo so I can change her. But she's not bothered about being trained otherwise, and I honestly think she cannot get the hang of going on the potty or telling us before she goes, as opposed to after.

But, to be honest, I cannot be bothered to go through the stress of potty training, staying indoors, cleaning up messes, stressing both of us out, yada yada. Changing nappies is so much easier.

DH is getting antsy too now (he probably wouldn't if he had to clean up after her) Anyway, I have decided to leave it for however long it takes, I don't care about changing nappies, much prefer it to the stress of training andhopingnurserywilldoiteventually. AIBU?

OP posts:

nappyaddict · 29/11/2010 14:27

I'm not saying I don't believe you I'm just not sure we have the same definition of not being bothered. Like I said for me I consciously decided to wait until DS knew he was wet and was uncomfortable in it or he could indicate he was about to do a wee. Did the children you refer to do either of those things?

PrematureEjoculation · 29/11/2010 14:39

you don't normally expect kids to develop language before being placed in the context. e.g. if i wanted a child to use language related to cooking, i'd cook with them.

the attitude that you wait for kids to talk about PT before you PT them is wrong-headed in this respect and contrary to normal thinking about how you train your kids.

when you start PT, then they have a reason to use PT language. that way they leanr it - often very quickly.

Panzee · 29/11/2010 14:51

Oh I see nappyaddict. Yes they were often asking to go to the toilet, for help with trousers etc. More often than not (despite telling the parents they had asked, suggesting pullups etc) they would be in a nappy. These particular parents were not the keenest in other areas of parenting too. It was never a surprise that the children would be in nappies.

Original poster

Cadpat · 08/05/2011 05:14

Quick update on this - well, DD is now 3.4 years old. Last month I finally decided to get off my arse and teach her how to use the potty. She was also finally showing signs of wanting to go.

She refused to use her small potty, instead wanting to use the family one, so we got her a potty seat.

Honestly, the first two days were a nightmare. Poo and pee everywhere, so much so I ended up in tears in th loo... I was so frustrated. And then, somehow something clicked with her. She just decided she's had it with nappies, and from then, I kid you not - not a single accident. And shockingly good control too... and dry through the night, starting from the point where she decided she didn't want to use nappies anymore. Its been almost 6 weeks now, and she's in full control, completely dry at night even through tummy upsets, and we've taken all day trips with no trouble. Now I have to ebay the 5 gigantic boxes of nappies I stocked up on :)

What can I say? I am glad I waited, because I still honestly believe that she was not ready to go until she was. But bloody hell, I now cannot imagine going back to nappies. Still in shock about how easy it all was in the end and I am putting that down to waiting till she was ready even though DH says it was me that had to be trained not her

OP posts:

hairfullofsnakes · 08/05/2011 06:17

Yabvu and doing potty training half-arsed will not work. I too recommend the Gina ford potty training book and you need to do it properly and get your daughter potty trained properly. Stop bring lazy and get it done!

hairfullofsnakes · 08/05/2011 06:18

Just read your update and agree with your dh that it was you! But now it is done so all is good!

blindmelon · 08/05/2011 07:03

Well done you for finally doing it. I disagree with the previous poster, it's much more important to wait til they are ready, and less frustrating for both of you.

My DD1 is a couple of months younger than yours and has been potty trained during the day for months but still isn't dry at night- so by waiting you have leapfrogged us, and with minimal stress by the sound of it!

blindmelon · 08/05/2011 07:03

Well done you for finally doing it. I disagree with the previous poster, it's much more important to wait til they are ready, and less frustrating for both of you.

DriverDan · 08/05/2011 07:04

How nice to come back with an update! Well done to your DD for cracking it!

My friend didn't train her DD til nearly 3 and a half and got a lot of flack for it. She got there in the end and I doubt anyone will care how old she was when she potty trained when she's at university or being interviewed for a job

2BoysTooLoud · 08/05/2011 07:19

My ds1 was a 'good 3' but just kind of decided he was fed up with nappies. No real effort on my part. Literally potty trained himself overnight. Great for a lazy sod like me!!

CareyFakes · 08/05/2011 07:59

Well done to DD for getting it!

My DD is 3 in July and like yours, last year, could use the potty on occasion but much preferred nappies. I felt myself getting stressed and decided to mug it off for a while, she's be asking at nursery to go to the toilet, so I got the step out at home, toilet seat and so far this weekend, she's had a few wee's and poo's on the toilet, 2 accidents on the floor, but I'm just going with what she wants tbh.

If I pushed her, I'd end up losing it and that will cause damage in the long run. Good for you for sticking to your guns, pushing kids doesn't work for everyone.

NacMacFeegle · 08/05/2011 08:48

well done you and your DD!

My DD was trained by 2, DS1 was 4. DS 2 is 2.6 and we are just starting now (with fear on my part, poor DS1 took so long to get the hang of it. I actually put him back into nappies after months of accidents because he was so stressed by it all. He's been nappy free for close to 2 years, but still has accidents a few times a week, and is nowhere near ready to drop the night nappy.)

skybluepearl · 08/05/2011 09:09

my eldest was 2.5 and it took 2 months to train him and even after that he would do the odd poo in her pants once a week. was hard work and thinking about it i'm not so sure he was ready but i was keen and though we should be getting on with it as all my friends had done thiers. with my second we waited to 2 and 10 months - just putting it off as i couldn't stand the thought of potty training with a new born in tow. it got to the point where he potty trained himself. he asked for pants lots and would put himself on the loo. took a day or two really and has been dry since. so easy and i'm glad i left it so late.

Boobz · 08/05/2011 09:27

DD1 is 2.2 and was trained just after her 2nd birthday. 2 months in knickers and has had 3 accidents total. Am glad I took the initiative to do it "early" as DD2 is 10 months and the double-nappy changing regime was doing my head in!

pigletmania · 08/05/2011 09:56

YABVU that's what being a parent is about, the good things but also the bad things too. Your dd sounds ready, she cannot remain in nappies until she starts school. My friend is a little like you, but her ds does not want to use the potty and is very wilful, and he is still in nappies at 4 (no SN), and will start school in September. You have to to it sometime, it was hard for the first 2 months when dd started training at 3.1 but boy its worth not having to spend money on expensive nappies, and dealing with pooy horrible nappies, and its satisfying knowing that dd has made a big step to independence.

MrsGrotBag · 08/05/2011 11:10

2 words.
chocolate buttons.

pigletmania · 08/05/2011 11:47

Oh yes MrsGRotB they were a saviour in potty training.

Cymar · 08/05/2011 13:35

I got to thinking about the difference in toilet training in the days of terry nappies and these days where more parents use disposable nappies. I reckon the main difference is, terry nappies were very uncomfortable to wear when soiled/wet and so the child wearing them would be quicker to associate the need/urge to go to the toilet/potty with the discomfort that follows. The absorbant lock-away area in a disposables make it more comfortable for the toddler to wear when wet and therefore, the child may not make the connection between peeing/pooing and doing it in the toilet as quickly and so, may take longer to train IYSWIM.

Meglet · 08/05/2011 13:40

I think I answered this thread before, but anyway...

yanbu. Lifes too short to battle with potty training when the child cannot be bothered with it. DS did it at 3.5, whilst DD is refusing to do it at 2.7. Will try again in the summer.

Well done for finally cracking it .

looblylu · 08/05/2011 14:24

DD refused to be potty trained. She knew what to do, she was capable of doing it, she just didnt want to.
She was due to turn 3 so i just announced that they didnt make nappies big enough for three year olds.

She spent 3 days FURIOUSLY peeing on the floor and then said "I'll wee in the toilet if you give me a smartie"

and we never had a problem from that moment onwards :-)

Original poster

Cadpat · 09/05/2011 00:19

Yes, I know I was lazy, but the aggravation wasn't worth it for me. Sadly Smarties didn't work, but what really worked was Hello Kitty stickers. Big ones for poop, and little ones for pee. The hall mirror was the reward chart. She could see how many big and little stickers she'd got, and I think that was the incentive. Cost? 3 dollars at the Superstore.

Anyone around Edmonton, AB want to buy some Junior Bambo Nature? :)

OP posts:

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