to prefer changing nappies rather than battle potty training?

[Cadpat]

MIL thinks I am being a lazycow laid back parent.

Backstory, DD turns 3 next month, and we've had two aborted attempts at potty training. She knows the theory, will ocasionally go on the potty, tells me as soon as she's done a poo so I can change her. But she's not bothered about being trained otherwise, and I honestly think she cannot get the hang of going on the potty or telling us before she goes, as opposed to after.

But, to be honest, I cannot be bothered to go through the stress of potty training, staying indoors, cleaning up messes, stressing both of us out, yada yada. Changing nappies is so much easier.

DH is getting antsy too now (he probably wouldn't if he had to clean up after her) Anyway, I have decided to leave it for however long it takes, I don't care about changing nappies, much prefer it to the stress of training andhopingnurserywilldoiteventually. AIBU?

"put her in terry nappies and see how long both of you last"

Darlene, DS1 lasted until age 4.3 in cloth, until I started using disposable night nappies. Also had a younger sibling in cloth nappies for the last year of that.

do those who think your 2yo+ isn't 'ready' think they can't control their bowel, or just the mode of training you wish to adopt best suits a gradual learning-by-example approach?

I wonder why people seem to think nappies are good for children? Like you're doing them a favour and giving them what they want by keeping them in nappies?
Being in nappies is, at best, very unplesant.

Vess, nappies are less unpleasant than constant accidents. Especially if you are out for the day and have used all of the changes you had out with you.

My cousin's child wore nappies to bed till she was gone seven, because my cousin got tired of changing the sheets. That is supremely laid back I reckon!

Well, if the child was wetting the bed that often, that suggests that she wasn't ready to be dry at night. Why do it to the child?

I'm a terry user and it hasn't helped DS3 to be any earlier. (And I'm an experienced mom, and the others all trained much earlier, and I know he can do it... he's just a stubborn little Cus!!).

The diagnosis of DS having control issues isn't quite right, more like "Don't like any change" issues. DS likes his comfort zone, and is a creature of habit. Using nappies worked fine for him, why should he change? My whole husband's family is like that!!! It is going to be a very long slog with this child... he is sweet and pretty easy going, I try to count my blessings after having volatile and explosive DS2 (who was a dream to toilet train, btw).

DS3 won't eat pasta FFS because it's too strange to him (sigh).

DD didn't want to potty train.
I pushed the issue at 3.8, because I knew no better and thought she never would otherwise. Two accidents later and that was that.
As she was ready and much older, could hold it in for a while, knew to go before we got on the bus, was independent in the loo very quickly and it was no hassle at all.
I highly recommend waiting.
BTW, my pushing the issue amounted to me insisting she stay on the potty for 15 minutes. Once she'd weed that was it!

I see no point in following them round with potties, dealing with daily accidents, having to get them to a loo in less than 30 secs, and all the other stuff parents do.
I admit I'm far too lazy for that.

My neighbour crows about all three of her DC being out of nappies by two. They were, they just shit in their pants instead.

YANBU I fecking hate potty training, oh and weaning.
Two worst jobs in parenting IMHO

I will also say that DD has been consistent in life so far in that she doesn't do anything, unless she knows she can do it well.
She was the same with walking, and talking, and reading and a while host of other things.
When she does them she's great at them, but often later than other children, though not so late it's been a problem.

I think a lot of fuss over absolutely nothing is made re potty training.

Sorry I had twins and another with a year in between,braced myself after hearing all the drama at toddler group,big non event.

I bought GF Potty training in a week,bought 2X travel potties,stayed in for a couple of days and all 3 were done and dusted at 21/2.

The fact is they errr do wet their pants a few times to begin with,totally normal and to be expected.We live in such a sterile mess free world I think many parents expect their dc to miraculously potty train with zero mess or effort so recoil in horror and chop and change with the wind.Pull ups have a lot to answer for too imvho.

then how do you account for the fact that the huge majority of 18 month olds were PT? (and i mean PT, not EC) I accept that there are some kids who would be later in some thigs - but the fact that it would have been very late to train not that long ago surely tells you something? no?

Mum ran a playgroup back in 1980..all kids PT by 2.

I've used the same basis for all four dcs, all have trained differently.

If they haven't shown awareness we've left it until they are able to control both bladder and bowel. This has varied in age from just after 2 with ds2 to 3.4 with ds1. For us this has meant all of them training in a couple of days and being dry at night pretty much straightaway.

Ds3 is 2.10 and has no clue whatsoever about when he has had a bowel movement. I'm prefectly prepared to wait until he does.

I really don't give a fig about what other people think tbh OP, nor should you! YANBU

YANBU After many failed attempts we left my dd in nappies until she decided she was ready. This was at about age 3.5 when she had been in pre-school for about 6 months. She then decided she would have pants and would use the potty, has had less than 5 accidents in the past 2 years since, was completely dry at night from the day she decided. I don't know why I put myself through all those months of trying. Although I don't think all dcs are the same. Go with your instinct.

DD won't get into Oxbridge of course, as she will fail on the potty trained by 2 test.

that was a response to someone claiming you can't pt before 2. the huge majority of kids can be at about 18mo.

of course, it is completely up to any individual parent when they want to get it done. - and don't think there is harm in doing so later or earlier. i just don't like the fact that people start believing things that are not, in fact, true and saying 'well, when they can do back flips then you can PT...'

With dd we made it a bit of a game and that worked for her. We had a potty in the bathroom and in the downstairs loo.

Every night before her bath she was plonked on her potty while the bath filled up, and we talked about the noise a wee made. She would say that it made a 'ssss' noise. The action of making the noise would sometimes trigger a wee. If she did, I would say 'well done', if not didn't make a fuss. She used to christen her poos, too, so we had tiger poo - sort of stripey 2-tone effect, elephant poo - nearly completely filled the potty, etc.

We had waited until 2.6-7 so that we were on holiday with tiled floors instead of carpets. One day she announced very firmly at breakfast that 'knickers closed today', and we went back to pullups. 2 days later she was able to hold on for a wee when we were on the motorway for nearly half an hour until a service area.

By the time she was 3, she was completely dry, both day and night.

Maybe, just keep a potty in the bathroom and plonk her on it before a bath, and praise her if she 'performs' whether a wee or a poo. See how it goes, and she might just suddenly get the hang of it herself.

Good luck

Yanbu ? My dd was potty trained by 2.5, mostly because she wanted Charlie and Lola big girl knickers more than anything else in the world. She was definately ready though, I just bought her a potty. Nursery were great too, all of the LO's were doing it at the same time so they learnt from each other and had a great time. I wouldn't have pushed her if she wasn't ready. Go at your child's pace. Accidents can be pretty humiliating for them.

YABU if you just can't be bothered to train.

How long are you not going to be bothered for? Until she's at school or older? The eachers wont change her nappies.

A1980 - have you READ the OP? Your high horse is galloping off without you...

Potty training has got later. My mum used terry nappies, and had no washing machine so had to wash them by hand. That's some incentive.

It's in the interest of the nappy companies to keep them in disposables as long as possible, obviously.

I have absolutely no interest in when other people potty train their children. But when your mother / MIL tells you her children were trained by 18 months she probably isn't exaggerating. Annoying, maybe.

YANBU at all

I have three children, two of whoch happily toilet trained aged around three and it took less than a week as they were clearly ready

We have a third, who is now 3.7 months and we have tried three times, very unsuccessfully, to toilet train. He insists on nappies, gets traumatised if we take his pants/trousers away (as we tried during the warm weather to let him go all naturalle) and will not go near a potty or toilet, whatever the incentive.

Luckily he goes to a lovely Montessori pre-school with five children, two of whom are still in nappies, so there is no pressure (part from myself feeling guilty).

I tried again at the weekend with no joy...developmentally he is great, its just the plumbing that doesn't seem to have caught up !

We PT just before DD 3rd birthday. This was because I knew she was ready as she would go in her 'shop' every morning after breakfast, send me out of the room, and hey presto, do a number two in her nappy. She would also ask to be changed just after doing a wee. However, it was sooo frustrating because although we knew she had control, she wouldn't go anywhere near the potty or the loo. Even tried bribery with stickers and then smarties. Would sit on it for a sticker but not do anything. In the end, resorted to the 'nappy fairy', who came and took all the daytime nappies away. She then managed to hold it in all morning until lunchtime at the beach when she said she needed a wee and sat on the potty. Haven't looked back since, had wet knickers about twice and that's it. No point in trying until they're ready I think.