AIBU to feel upset, annoyed and let down by my cleaner who has just resigned??

[zebedeethezebra]

We loved our cleaner. She was expensive but worth it. But today I came back to a note saying she thought I was rude and that working here made her uncomfortable.

The only examples she gave were a comment I made last week about her being early (why does anyone find that offensive???) and this morning I referred to her car as an old jag (I actually think her car is quite cool - its practically a classic!) which was thoughtless I know but enough to make her want to resign??!!

I've always been really nice to her! I just don't get it. I've left 2 messages on her phone and sent her some flowers to be delivered today, but now I'm really annoyed that she has left me in the lurch. I feel really upset and let down. Is our house not good enough for her to clean or something??

I really want her to come back, but now I'm too scared that if she does, perhaps I better not say anything to her at all for fear of offending her.

@Booboodebat

So what does 'cleaner=lazy' woman think of SAHDs with cleaners out of interest?

Only asking as I know six or seven SAHDs, all of whom have cleaners and children of nursery age.

Does your outrage extend to them as well?

Lazy useless bastards.

You may have come across as entitled and patronising.

I can understand you being upset. Hopefully your former cleaner can be able to explain if there is more than the examples you give. If only to ensure that if you have another cleaner there is no repeat.

Hang on - three months?!

You didn't 'love' her - you didn't even know her. You were chasing a dream, and it was holding a microfibre cloth.

She clearly wasn't great at all, she was weirdly oversensitive and a bit odd.

It was 10 fucking years ago

Move on.

I suspect the OP has managed to get her house cleaned at some point on the last ten years...

We loved our cleaner.
Use of the past tense already shows you have already moved on. Not sure how after 3 months and with limited conversations, you decided you loved the cleaner anyway.

You referred to her car as an old jag? Why? She could feel you were trying to 'other' her, as if she couldn't afford a new Jag. Sounds like you don't engage your brain before you put your mouth in gear.

You've sent flowers to apologise. Just move on now by getting a replacement cleaner and be more careful about offending people in the future.

I wonder what the record is for exhuming the decaying corpses of mumsnet threads. This one practically needs an archeologist!

Ha ha. 10 years ago and most of us failed to notice. 😂😂😂

Just move on now

Indeed.

Use of the past tense already shows you have already moved on.

After ten years, I should bloody well hope so!

I think the OP has gone. I've given up with employing a cleaner , sooner or later something happens, usually that they discover a vocation to be something other than a cleaner such as a prison officer. I had a run of lovely cleaners but sooner or later they left - on good terms. I have used an agency for the last few years. We almost always get the same lovely person but I know that i don't need to worry and that if she is unwell or on holiday I'll still get a clean and that if she leaves there will be another person available.

I think the OP has gone

@ExConstance the OP has gone because it was 10 YEARS AGO

Men do clean! My DP is much more thorough than I am - partly because I don't notice being of the Quentin Crisp persuasion.

If you've only had her 3 months then she just doesn't want to work for you.

It happens. I went through 2 in 4 months until I found mine who's been with us over 18 years now.

Find someone else and move on. Don't send her flowers!!

I REPEAT

ZOMBIE
ZOMBIE
ZOMBIE

This thread is from 2010. Let it die!!!!

@UpShutTheFuck

I think the OP has gone

@ExConstance the OP has gone because it was 10 YEARS AGO

@WitchQueenofDarkness.

Maybe the cleaner was upset at having to move the furniture for the carpet fitter