AIBU to feel upset, annoyed and let down by my cleaner who has just resigned??

[zebedeethezebra]

We loved our cleaner. She was expensive but worth it. But today I came back to a note saying she thought I was rude and that working here made her uncomfortable.

The only examples she gave were a comment I made last week about her being early (why does anyone find that offensive???) and this morning I referred to her car as an old jag (I actually think her car is quite cool - its practically a classic!) which was thoughtless I know but enough to make her want to resign??!!

I've always been really nice to her! I just don't get it. I've left 2 messages on her phone and sent her some flowers to be delivered today, but now I'm really annoyed that she has left me in the lurch. I feel really upset and let down. Is our house not good enough for her to clean or something??

I really want her to come back, but now I'm too scared that if she does, perhaps I better not say anything to her at all for fear of offending her.

How about we all sack the council and tack all our trash to the dump ourselves, we really are lazy having dustmen do it for us.

That's "take" not "tack".

I hope she explained her rudeness to you .

I hope that Prop grows all of her own food (all of it [stern look]), takes all her rubbish to the dump as suggested by livinginhope, never travels by public transport or taxi, mends her own car, and collects her own poo in a big bucket and toddles down to the local sewage works to pour it in.

Otherwise she is BVVU. If she does all of the above then she is BVVMad.

For those of you who have issues with SAHM having cleaners. I know a SAHM with three children so she has three nannies, she also has a driver and a cleaner. She's not in the UK though.

i've not got anything to add, just bumping this topic for a friend

People are so funny about employing someone sometimes!
I don't have a cleaner, but wouldn't say no if I could.
I used to live with a girl who got angry when I told her my full time working mother (was a headmistress) and full time working father (media-type) had one who came round once a fortnight when they had three children at home.
It's not lazy, it is sensible. Probably cheaper than childcare while you clean!

OP I am very very that you managed to persuade her to come back!

After many years of fights consultation DH finally agreed to a cleaner (ishoos about minimum wage/ income inequality/ security) and found a lady who lives in our street to clean for us.

Well, I am ashamed to say that she sacked us after about 3 months for being to messy .

Apparently she objected to the sailing kit (or sand/grit) in one of the baths, the study (too many festering bits of dead electronica & random 'boy projects') and on the final week DH had been the last to leave the house on the morning she came and had completely failed to clear up the breakfast pancake kit so the kitchen looked like a bomb had gone off in a flour factory.

I am still cross. I want my cleaner back.

Sorry, cross with DH, not the cleaner, who was completely reasonable IMHO.

What a great read, this being my first post on mumsnet!

I don't have a cleaner but would bloody love one and I wouldn't give a stuff what anyone thought of me if I did have one.......
Mind you if I had one and then lost it I would be most upset, I'm not sure I would send flowers (unless to myself, I would be very upset and in need lol) but I would try to put the record straight verbally.

My cleaner is absolutely wonderful. I have never ever regretted employing her, not even when I happen not to be working in a particular week. She is way better and more efficient at cleaning than I am and is seriously worth it if only in the amount of sanity she has saved me. Furthermore as an unskilled non-driver living in a village right off the public transport system, she has no other options and I'm therefore employing someone who would otherwise be very isolated and marginalised. That's not why I employ her though- I employ her because she's fab.

You are bonkers, zebedee. That woman really dislikes yuou.

prop, you're being bally outrageous and need to get over the fact that some people are just considerably richer then you. I certainly wasn't brought up to clean/cook/mother and boost the economy by having a cleaner, a cook, a wet-nurse, a housekeeper and a nanny - even though DS is now 21 years old.

I wasn't brought up to move myself around either and so have a driver as well as a marvellous young filipino woman i found on the internet who pushes me from room to room on the casters I have recently had fitted to my feet. (This procedure is not available on the NHS prop so bad luck). My wonderful Phillipino woman (I can never remember her name), also wipes my arse for me - although she never smiles when she does it - I think it's a cultural thing.

filipino x 2

Propinquity have you considered that by employing a cleaner it frees up zebedee's time, so she can concentrate solely on her DC? Surely this is the best investment for her DC's future that she can make?

once again I am being rubbish tonight, and posted a response before realising there's loads more to the thread that I didn't read. apologies everyone!

I worked as a self employed cleaner for 3 years up until I was pregnant with DS1.

I was an excellent cleaner, with plenty of work offers through word of mouth. I would not work for a SAHM though.

I'm very suprised by the attidude of the OP's cleaner, very rude.

You should have shagged her properly

I hate housework and do have a bit of a problem with my back so am happy to pay my cleaner to do my bathroom, and all hoovering once a week. My DH made some crappy joke about me subcontracting work to a cleaner, he was punished.

Referring to her car as an old jag seems a bit stuck up to me. Maybe you are ruder than you think you are.

guess its how you say things to people that could get your back up!! perhaps better in future to say what you mean..cleaners can feel indifferent to those that they clean for!! However I am lucky that mine all treat me as who I am and not thick!!!

Hey, there are plenty more cleaners out there!, the same thing has happened to us recently, I upset our cleaner by asking her not to bring her 5 year old daughter with her in the holidays.

I advertized and now have a much better cleaner, initially I was cheesed off at having to find another one, but sometimes these things happen and they are a good catalyst for change....

Look on the bright side, if she's that touchy then you're not missing out too much!

Don't know if anyone else has said this, but anyone who buys anything other than the rawest of raw ingredients to make their meals is basically employing cooks to help them, just off the premises rather than in their own kitchens. It might be you nipping down to Tesco to buy a packet of tortilla chips and some onion and garlic dip, but economically it's not that far off sending an instruction down to Cook to prepare them.

Propinquity, how you can accuse other posters of being 'embarrassingly prejudiced' and not see your own amazes me! Just so you can get properly cross, I am a SAHM who has a total of 5 people working here to do the work involved in keeping this family rolling on a daily basis. I am not going to go into details, but yes, their tax and NI is paid. Shall I sack them all to satisfy your prejudices about me? Shall I tell my gardener, for example, that for 40% of his working week he is now unemployed because I have realised that I am a lazy cow for asking him to do it for me? I would of course like to reassure you that I am in fact lying on a sunlounger eating grapes all day while stamping on the downtrodden masses, but in fact my DH pays the bills so that I can spend my time working unpaid as a volunteer.

Don't judge anyone for what they have in life, but for what they do with it.. And in the case of the OP choosing to spend time with her child rather than shove her hand down her own loo - guess what? - it's none of our business.