AIBU to feel upset, annoyed and let down by my cleaner who has just resigned??

[zebedeethezebra]

We loved our cleaner. She was expensive but worth it. But today I came back to a note saying she thought I was rude and that working here made her uncomfortable.

The only examples she gave were a comment I made last week about her being early (why does anyone find that offensive???) and this morning I referred to her car as an old jag (I actually think her car is quite cool - its practically a classic!) which was thoughtless I know but enough to make her want to resign??!!

I've always been really nice to her! I just don't get it. I've left 2 messages on her phone and sent her some flowers to be delivered today, but now I'm really annoyed that she has left me in the lurch. I feel really upset and let down. Is our house not good enough for her to clean or something??

I really want her to come back, but now I'm too scared that if she does, perhaps I better not say anything to her at all for fear of offending her.

Ooh, poor you at this stage of pregnancy as well. You sound delightful what with sending her flowers.

Find someone else. There will be someone just as good, if not better, out there. You don't want her back after that, truly.

I've a cleaner and am a SAHM, DCs 5, 3, 1, they keep me on my toes so I've no qualms about having a cleaner.

Oh, I missed that. You sent her flowers?! AFter she totally dissed you?

This all sounds very implausible. It can't just be me.

Oh God, ignore pregnancy comment, have read a number of OPs and they have run into each other

I would send my cleaner flowers. I love her. She did get embarrassed when I hugged as she left once.

Propinquity thanks for giving me a good laugh! A couple of years ago I lived in a 2 bed flat and had a cleaner too. What a lazy so and so I must have been! I can sleep well tonight knowing that I have permission not to feel guilt anymore because I still have a cleaner, but it is all okay because now I live in a 5 bedroom house so I am not lazy. Phew. Have a

[love your name MaeMobley, just finished reading the book ]

God I'd love a cleaner - but wait! I only have a 3-bed house and no young DCs. I also only work part-time in my newest job.

Dammit I'm not allowed one am I??

Propinquity - must be bloody lonely up there on the moral high ground.

Personally, I reckon spreading your money around and employing soemone else is a pretty Good Thing.

From the other perspective, I once worked as a cleaner and had mostly nice clients but a few nutters. One woman actually rang me at night to ask if I had been cleaning at her house that day. I said, yes of course, did she not see the note I had left her.... She said that the handwriting on my note did not look like my writing and actually accused me of sending someone else in. She was also the sort of person who would be there when I arrived and then say she was going out for the rest of the afternoon, see you next week etc etc. and then pop back an hour later on a pretext but clearly to make sure I had not skived off early....

But I have a live-in nanny now who does help out with the cleaning but I actually prefer to do my own cleaning. I love cleaning.

I was really fond of our cleaner, she was a lovely lady and she had a lovely little boy. She liked working for us too, i think .
I don't think you're cleaner liked you!

It's hardly outrage , Booboodebat, but I guesss if that descriptive bumps the thread better, you can use it.

Sex is irrelevant, male/female, anyone who has time/ability to clean but insteads employs someone else because they find the task 'boring' or 'menial' is Lazeeee. It's interesting to note how mnay different excuses people find to justify it though ; 'I'm contributing to the country's economy by employing a char'. Do you keep receipts? Or pay the cleaner cash in hand?

What is your problem prop!!! You are making me laugh tho.

Never mind OP, just find another cleaner

Just to justify our cleaner to Prop my mother was a single woman taking care of me and working 70 + hours a week running her own business.

Mowiol I'm not a moral high ground

If I allowed my children to spend their pocket money on employing a cleaner to tidy their rooms, it would enforce the message to them that it's alright to pass the buck in life, those boring tasks? -flick some money at 'em, whatever you consider boring/menial/beneath you, there's always someone else willing to clean up after you...for a price. Now that's moral high ground. I wouldn't go there.

I'm not offended, honestly, I enjoy hearing everyone's views don't worry

just think how many people would be unemployed if it wasn't for all these cleaners being employed by people on this thread.

Prop are you a sahm or wohm, because if sahm don't you think you should be going to work to earn some money to secure your children's future? if you work don't you think that you should be staying at home to spend time with your children?

See, easy to be judged isn't it?

I don't have a cleaner but if I did, I would gladly admit that it's because I'm a lazy arse. But ultimately whose business is it anyway?

To me it a matter of outsourcing Non core tasks. DH and I work FT, then I have dd who needs my attention the rest of the time. Cleaning is secondary to all this.

I am not too proud to do it all myself, but shit - there are others practically begging for the job. So my take on it all, is find a good'un and pay and treat them well.

Where has OP gone?

redflag exactly my point, your mother clearly had need for such because she had no free time, whereas the OP admits they have too much free time to pootle about, so they DO have the time to clean.

My argument is that people who have the time/ability are being lazy if they employ a cleaner. People who do not have the time/ability are not lazy if employing a cleaner.

wannaBe You can judge me, I don't mind. The nature of internet forums is that we freely offer ourselves up for judgement based solely on our written word, it's notorioiusly open to misinterpretation in this format, so I truly don't mind if you want to call me a stay at home or gone to work mum, I have a guilt complex either way with those two options though

If I had a cleaner I have to agree with you, I'd freely admit I was lazy , but I have no intention of employing someone to do my dirty work.

I have a cleaner/mother's help 5 days a week because I don't want to do all the work. That's not being lazy .
It means I can do other stuff instead that isn't tedious. Stuff I enjoy. Madness to go through life being a cleaning martyr if you don't have to.

I wouldn't have a cleaner, no matter how much money i had (lotto wins being the exception) Because i like cleaning.

I don't see why someone would have to justify having a cleaner though

Jajas I have the money and no I wouldn't pay someone to do my dirty work, I can think of better things to spend it on. Cleaning is hardly 'hard work' though is it, ladies? if you're able and energetic enough. It's just dull and irksome. That still doesn't warrant paying someone else to do it, IMHO.

Erk, yes I seem to have hijacked OP a bit, sorry about that, guess this is a defensive topic then, I'll sit the rest out.

OP, you have the time and ability, get your gloves on, do it yourself, give your cleaning money to charity if you have that big a bugbear about employing people who'd 'otherwise not have a job', which prompts a whole new discussion in itself....

btw op you have a perfect right to dictate what is done in your house how you want it done etc. it is your home and you're paying. There should be no quibbles. Move on and get someone decent.