AIBU to feel upset, annoyed and let down by my cleaner who has just resigned??

[zebedeethezebra]

We loved our cleaner. She was expensive but worth it. But today I came back to a note saying she thought I was rude and that working here made her uncomfortable.

The only examples she gave were a comment I made last week about her being early (why does anyone find that offensive???) and this morning I referred to her car as an old jag (I actually think her car is quite cool - its practically a classic!) which was thoughtless I know but enough to make her want to resign??!!

I've always been really nice to her! I just don't get it. I've left 2 messages on her phone and sent her some flowers to be delivered today, but now I'm really annoyed that she has left me in the lurch. I feel really upset and let down. Is our house not good enough for her to clean or something??

I really want her to come back, but now I'm too scared that if she does, perhaps I better not say anything to her at all for fear of offending her.

It's not about 'hard work,' no it's not hard at all, but it's boring.
Id much rather spend the daily three hours it takes to wrestle this house back to some sort of order, doing something else like gardening running, shopping reading, the list goes on.

OP - your really shouldn't be offended and I certainly wouldn't grovel after her.

We had numerous different cleaners over the years, most of them madwomen to some degree and with varying abilities to do a decent job for the money they were paid (and let's face it, it's usually not terrible money for an unskilled job).

One flounced off because I had the temerity to leave a detailed note asking her what we'd like to have done (because she was doing a crap job, virtually just cleaning the insides of the windows each week rather than e.g. putting the hoover round) "There's no pleasure in that (i.e doing what we'd like done)" was her parting shot - btw we weren't asking anything unreasonable, just standard cleaning which others had managed ok.

Cleaners sent by an agency stole from us - that's far worse than anything else - I'm still discovering things I think they may have taken.

We now don't have a cleaner though me and dh still both work ft - our dc are teenagers and the theory is that they should be helping out more.

And we bought one of these robot vacuum cleaners which I can't praise enough - it's brilliant and saves hours.

I hate cleaning and unfortunatley I don't have a cleaner. I would love one though.

TBH OP I wouldn't want her back in my house after her note and I definately wouldn't have sent her flowers.

Hope you find someone else soon.

Have a friend who casually mentioned to her cleaner she was going to decorate the spare bedroom before she went on holiday and returned to find she had helpfully stripped the wall-paper for her!

Dinah - hope she stripped the right room!

Yes, she did Hippo, but friend said when she came back and saw the room, it was a 'how lovely/bugger' response as it meant she had to get the room done asap and it more a get round to it when she had the time project. She also used to come home and find the cleaner had bathed the dog (Old English Sheepdog) because he would look a bit hangdog and smell of roses

My friend is a whirling dervish with four children (including twins), full time job and lots projects on the go, but she says her cleaner puts her to shame.

Or should that be Dancing? Bah, never get names right!

Propinquity in a time when there are so few jobs, I can't see how employing people to do things is a bad thing right now.

OP They seem strange things to be offended by, just write it off and don't worry about it.

Propinquity is completely right and the lot of you should be ashamed of yourselves. And I would even say MORE:

Anyone that pays a hairdresser to do their hair when they obviously have the time (and the brush, and the hairdryer) to do it themselves is a lazy ass.

Anyone that pays the pharmacist to buy Paracetamol when they have the time to just stay in bed and get well on their own is a coach potato.

Anyone that goes out for dinner when they can cook their own food is a shame to humanity.

Anyone that pays TESCO for veges when they can grow their own veggie garden is a bum.

You lazy bitches, how dare you be so smug!

...goes back to her hammer and nails... building my own house...

OMG palomadove. I'm amazed at your link. Do they do a robot that cooks, gardens and anything else?

Seriously how well does that work?

How many people employ male cleaners?

Men clean????????

yanbu, she got a better offer or wants a pay rise

I had a male cleaner once. He was rather effeminate, thought he might have been gay he was very camp. but he had a wife and kids.
However,he was still a man in that he didn't notice details. He had to go in the end. I don't think most men notice things the way women do. I don't think I'd readily employ a male cleaner again.

Victoria - yup, it really works very well - I love it!

There are loads of videos of it on YouTube - like .

The only work you have to do is to clean the brushes and empty the bin regularly - that takes about 5 minutes, but when you consider it will have done about 2 hours vacuuming to gather all that muck, it's a no-brainer. I don't know why they aren't a lot more popular -we're the only people I know who have one, and most of our friends are working parents (although many employ cleaners).

There's also a machine called a Scooba which washes floors (we don't have that, hardly ever wash the floors ), and according to dh, one that will mow grass.

well prop i would rather spend my time with my children than cleaning constantly i'm afraid!

i can afford it, so why the hell shouldn't i?

i said in my first post i have a cleaner because i am lazy and can't be arsed to do it myself. what of it?

Blimey some of you are vicious and soooooooooo jealous!!

For the record I am not a SAHM, I am on maternity leave and due to return to work in 2 months. When I do return to work I will be commuting to London and will not see my DS awake on those days. I'm buggered if I'm going to spend the time that I'm not working bloody cleaning.

I am helping the local economy by employing a cleaner. Same as if I used a plumber. She's better at it than I am, so what's the difference? So its not laziness, its paying for a service.

Lastly she returned my phone call last night, we had a chat and she is going to return so I'm really pleased, because I won't find another one like her.

Have to say though, if she pulls a strop like that again I'll just let her go next time, because I do feel ever so slightly manipulated.

I'd love a cleaner but can't afford it so I don't. I hate cleaning and I work part time. I would rather be baking cakes with DD or taking her to the park or visiting people on the days I'm not at work. So shoot me.

Glad you came back Zebra, thought miserable prop had scared you off.

I am more than happy to put my hand up and say "my name is lavitabellissma and I'm a lazy slattern who employs a cleaner, yipee"

I agree alot of these nasty comments were pure jealousy! If you'd asked 'what are you opinions on me having a cleaner whilst on maternity leave" then fair enough but you asked a different question, didnt go into much detail of your life but people clung on to any detail you gave looked for all the reasons why the could slag you off rather than just answer the question you asked.

I agree it's all jealousy. Anyone who can afford a cleaner but chooses to clean instead of doing something more interesting with their time is crackers imho.

I'm definitely jealous :o But nicely so, I hope!

And what, exactly, is wrong with being lazy?

Mortal sin James - didn't you know?

This thread is hilarious!