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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell her to fuck off

194 replies

yertile · 23/10/2010 18:43

I've been going out with this guy from work for the last 5 months. I really like him and he likes me, there is an age gap he's 21 and I'm 33 but its not an issue. His sister is driving me crazy, she obviously does not like me at all, today was the worst. She invited me out for a coffee supposedly to get to know me better so I thought I'd go as I would like to get on with her. When I got their she just ripped into me and told me that I was too old for him, she didn't like me and that I was just using him for a bit of fun. Then she said I had to end otherwise she would step in and do it herself.
I just told her to fuck off and stormed off but I'm fucking furious whats it got to with her, we're very happy together.

OP posts:

LynLiesNomoreZombieFest · 23/10/2010 18:45

YANBU.

None of her business, I wouldn't have given her the satisfaction of loosing your cool.

But none of her business.

clam · 23/10/2010 18:50

If it wasn't so outrageous (of her) it would almost be funny.
YANBU.

constantlytired · 23/10/2010 18:52

Have you spoke with your partner yet about this? Hope he tells her where to go!

expatinscotland · 23/10/2010 18:53

I wouldn't have stooped to her level and told her that. It just makes you look a bit rough, tbh.

MuGGGhoulWump · 23/10/2010 18:55

Agree with Expat.
What you should do is kill her with kindness.
That way she has nothing bad to say about the way you've behaved, and it will piss her off far more.
Win win situation.

phipps · 23/10/2010 18:56

You were paying right into her hands that you weren't good enough for her brother. Talk to your boyfriend and see what he has been saying about you to her. has he been saying something or is she just prejudiced about age gap relationships?

PenelopeTitsDropped · 23/10/2010 19:14

I'd have listened and not said anything.

I'd have thanked her, stood up and walked off.

I would then have cooled it with the boyfriend (to ice) on the basis of:

His sister is fruit of the womb.

And He's 21 and you're 33.

Walk away and tell him to contact you in 5 years when his testicles have descended; if he's still interested..

Original poster

yertile · 23/10/2010 19:17

I haven't spoken to him yet other than texts as he's working today but will see him tomorrow.

OP posts:

sozzledchops · 23/10/2010 19:17

I can understand her concern (I would worry as well as a sister) but doubt I would ever say anything unless you were a total horror.

PenelopeTitsDropped · 23/10/2010 19:20

You are 33. He is 21.

Am I right in thinking that you have been married before OP

hf128219 · 23/10/2010 19:20

YABU She talks a lot of sense

Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 19:22

My daughter is 20.
I'd be rather worried if she was involved with a bloke of 33, and I'd wonder what the relationship was based on other than the joy of a young body in bed and youthful admiration.
That said, she is an adult, so I'd have to try and trust her judgement was sound.
The sister sounds less mature than me, is she 50?

saffy85 · 23/10/2010 19:24

YANBU I would have told hid DSis to trot on. mad fish wife. [hhmm]

Gotabookaboutit · 23/10/2010 19:24

God what crap - you are 33 and he is 21 ????
This is hardly an abusive relationship, he has been over the age of consent for 5 years - and I suspect if it was him who were 33 and she were 21 few people would have a problem.

IntheFrightGarden · 23/10/2010 19:26

I think you should listen to Penelope-she's talking sense.

expatinscotland · 23/10/2010 19:27

I agree with Penelope, too.

saffy85 · 23/10/2010 19:28

totally agree gotabook. I met DP when I was 18 he is 9 years older. No one said a word other than my mum and dad but they didn't force us apart, just pointed out we might want different things in the future. The sister sounds mad. He is a fecking adult FFS.

Mumcentreplus · 23/10/2010 19:28

..come on ..she's half right to be worried about your intentions..you are an older woman if it was the other way around...what are your intentions exactly?

pearlym · 23/10/2010 19:29

Bit of a big age gap, but as someone says, not as if he is16 or something - I would howver have tried to be a bit more dignified, just said nothingk or "i'm sorry you feel that way@ and walked off- but v easy to say it if not there

MuGGGhoulWump · 23/10/2010 19:31

Mine would be to shag him senseless for a while and then move on, but hey, this isn't about me......[hgrin]

sozzledchops · 23/10/2010 19:31

I have 2DS's and would hate them to get into a relationship like this. Would have to get to know you though, last thing I'd want is them turning away from me for not accepting the other woman.

Original poster

yertile · 23/10/2010 19:31

I haven't been married before but I have been in a relationship that lasted 6 years.

She is 25

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 23/10/2010 19:33

I have to admit I wouldn't be entirely thrilled if my 21-year-old got involed with a 33-year-old with kids already.

Wouldn't say anything though, but would hope it was one of those things that was for sex and then they moved on.

winnybella · 23/10/2010 19:33

I don't see what the age gap's got to do with the sister being a fucking lunatic. And OP is 33, not 63, fgs.

It would be better if you could have stayed calm, but in the end I imagine it might have been hard to do.

winnybella · 23/10/2010 19:34

wait, expat, isn't your DH younger than you by quite a few years?

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