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Original poster

To tell her to fuck off

194 replies

yertile · 23/10/2010 18:43

I've been going out with this guy from work for the last 5 months. I really like him and he likes me, there is an age gap he's 21 and I'm 33 but its not an issue. His sister is driving me crazy, she obviously does not like me at all, today was the worst. She invited me out for a coffee supposedly to get to know me better so I thought I'd go as I would like to get on with her. When I got their she just ripped into me and told me that I was too old for him, she didn't like me and that I was just using him for a bit of fun. Then she said I had to end otherwise she would step in and do it herself.
I just told her to fuck off and stormed off but I'm fucking furious whats it got to with her, we're very happy together.

OP posts:
Original poster
yertile · 23/10/2010 20:01

He's very mature and intelligent, like on Wednesday when we had that spending review he was explaining why they were doing it and what the possible results of it would be. He knew about 100x more about than me.

OP posts:
whenskiesaregrey · 23/10/2010 20:02

I am 24 and my DH is 42. None of my family would have even thought of saying anything to DH when we first started going out, no matter what they thought. They trusted me to make my own decisions, and, if it came to it, make my own mistakes. I think the sister was out of order, no matter what she thinks.

Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 20:04

'Lets be honest she's right you are too old for him and it is extremely unlikely that it will last the distance and even if it does I would bet on a divorce within 5 years'

That's why I'd be nagging him about contraception if he was my brother.
He's got enough on his plate paying back his student loan without whining 'But she said she was on the pill/had a coil. it's not faaaiiir'
finding he's a daddy at 22.

Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 20:06

'He's very mature and intelligent, like on Wednesday when we had that spending review he was explaining why they were doing it and what the possible results of it would be. He knew about 100x more about than me.'

Are you being wilfully obtuse? My 15 year old could do that. That's being clever, not having enough experience of life to have a mature relationship.

Mumcentreplus · 23/10/2010 20:07

notices OP has not admitted her intentions Grin

izzywizzywoowooo · 23/10/2010 20:08

Who says OP is too old for him? If he and the OP are happy with they got then that is all that matters...

Be careful OP you cougar Wink You'll be trapping him soon...Wink Honestly can this woman just not enjoy and like this guys comapany? He might act older than 21 who knows?

thesecondcoming · 23/10/2010 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
yertile · 23/10/2010 20:10

My intentions are to carry on seeing him and if it works out get married and probably have some more kids with him.

OP posts:
Original poster
yertile · 23/10/2010 20:11

secondcoming I'm not just looking for a few shags with him

OP posts:
Mumcentreplus · 23/10/2010 20:12

nice...good for you...

expatinscotland · 23/10/2010 20:13

have some more kids with him, then if it doesn't work out have some more kids with someone else . . . .

[hums, May the Circle Be Unbroken]

Mumcentreplus · 23/10/2010 20:13

and how does he feel?

Mumcentreplus · 23/10/2010 20:14
Original poster
yertile · 23/10/2010 20:14

Obviously any possible children are years down the line. I'd marry him first and make sure we were an item for the long term

OP posts:
Original poster
yertile · 23/10/2010 20:15

expat I only have 1 dd at the moment

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 20:16

Meanwhile his sister will be trying to line up lots of suitable girls. Grin

expatinscotland · 23/10/2010 20:16

I think this is the crux of the matter, though, when the female is this much older than the male.

Years down the line is all well and good, and some maintain much fertility well into their 40s.

Some sadly, however, do not.

So there is always the scenario, more likely when the female is much older, that the male will miss out on having children at all, something he may realise he must desires.

Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 20:16

How old is your DD, out of curiosity?

xkittyx · 23/10/2010 20:18

God I can't believe how narrow-minded some people are being about the age gap! And I bet if it were the woman who was younger no-one would bat an eyelid. Twenties and thirties - not exactly a huge difference.
His sister sounds like a loony. He's an adult and can make his own choices.
My former flatmate got together with a 41 year old twice divorced woman with three children when he was 24. His parents, especially his mother, flippied out. Fourteen years later they are still happily married.

thesecondcoming · 23/10/2010 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare · 23/10/2010 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whenskiesaregrey · 23/10/2010 20:20

yertile- if you are serious about your relationship, you have to except that people will always have an opinion about it. Unfortunatley it comes with the territory. As soon as you get an age gap of a certain size, it divides opinions.

Also, if you are serious about your relationship, you will obviously have to win his sister over. It is the opinions of people close to you that matter, and if you are both happy, and have the same vision of the future, then people will gradually see this. Telling her to fuck off obviously hasn't helped matters, but I can understand you being annoyed. Maybe rearrange to see her again and try and sort things out?

PenelopeTitsDropped · 23/10/2010 20:20

I'd walk away.

Not just for Him; but for you OP.

Do you actually think (in your own mind) that a 21 year old is what you want?

Think it through.

You had sex with him after the break up of a 6 year relationship. You're 33 years old.

It massaged your ego (fair play to you).

But you're doing a tremendous disservice to yourself if you even think about continuing this "relationship".

Keep in touch (only at his behest) and as I said re visit it 5 years.

It's a more level playing field in terms of maturity.

xkittyx · 23/10/2010 20:20

I think a good succint "fuck off" has it's place.
But then I love swearing :)

Mumcentreplus · 23/10/2010 20:21

xkittyx I always bat an eyelid male or female..