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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell her to fuck off

194 replies

yertile · 23/10/2010 18:43

I've been going out with this guy from work for the last 5 months. I really like him and he likes me, there is an age gap he's 21 and I'm 33 but its not an issue. His sister is driving me crazy, she obviously does not like me at all, today was the worst. She invited me out for a coffee supposedly to get to know me better so I thought I'd go as I would like to get on with her. When I got their she just ripped into me and told me that I was too old for him, she didn't like me and that I was just using him for a bit of fun. Then she said I had to end otherwise she would step in and do it herself.
I just told her to fuck off and stormed off but I'm fucking furious whats it got to with her, we're very happy together.

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 20:22

'And I bet if it were the woman who was younger no-one would bat an eyelid'

I think you'll find my bat is being swung on behalf of my 20 year old DD. Although I'm probably prejudiced due to some of the salivating old lechers lecturers at uni in the early 1980s, offering to guide and support certain nubile girls through their degrees.

xkittyx · 23/10/2010 20:22

Completely disagree with advice to stop seeing him. No relationship comes with a 100% guarentee. If you are both happy then go for it. You're only 33.

expatinscotland · 23/10/2010 20:24

I'd bat an eyelid regardless of gender for the reason that I see becoming a step parent as a major big deal and I'd be concerned about taking on such a role at the age of 21.

sozzledchops · 23/10/2010 20:25

well suppose it all worked out great for Richard and Judy, so it can be done.

huddspur · 23/10/2010 20:26

OP it might seem nice in theory but just accept the sex and let it draw to its natural conclusion.

Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 20:27

Well, if the daughter is 9 and he's 21 and the OP is 33, in another 12 years he can trade her in for a younger model without leaving the house.

thesecondcoming · 23/10/2010 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
yertile · 23/10/2010 20:28

Huddspur he's my boyfriend not just a fuckbuddy. I don't just see him for sex. I see him because I like him he's funny,clever,kind and thoughtful.

OP posts:
huddspur · 23/10/2010 20:30

thesecondcoming he probably is

izzywizzywoowooo · 23/10/2010 20:31

Maybe he isn't your typical 21 yr old and likes to be settled. Nothing wrong with that.

Go for it OP if you and he are happy who gives a fuck what other people think? His sister is just being one of those annoying over protective siblings...Smile

Mumcentreplus · 23/10/2010 20:31

and 21 Grin

Sariah · 23/10/2010 20:34

The sister sounds very childish and a bit controlling. i went out with a 19 year old when I was 27. I had a ds8 at the time. It ended up they had more in common than we had. It was unbalanced and I was a bit too at the time. Only matters what you and your bf think.

huddspur · 23/10/2010 20:37

I don't think the sister is being childish I think she is being realistic and there nothing wrong with that. He's her lil brother and she can see where this is probably going to lead. My dbro is only 11 so no girlfriends yet but if when he's 21 he has a 33yo girlfriend I'll be having words (if my other 2 sisters don't beat me to it).

izzywizzywoowooo · 23/10/2010 20:40

Why does everyone have to be so involved? Some people need to keep out of others business. Doesn't matter if they are your sibling. Old enough to make their own choices.

I met someone when I was 6 weeks pregnant (did not know) And the amount of stick we got was unreal, But who cares, his family hated me Smile but we were happy. And still are Grin

Narketta · 23/10/2010 20:40

When DH and I met I was 31 and he was 22. We've been happily married for 5 yrs and have 2 DC so age gap relationships aren't necessarily doomed.
Good luck OP. Smile

izzywizzywoowooo · 23/10/2010 20:40

Oh fuck how the hell does this striking out business work?!

stillare?

izzywizzywoowooo · 23/10/2010 20:41

What the hell why can't I have a space?! Hmm

Jackin · 23/10/2010 20:41

Don't worry about it. In 5 years nobody will care. In 10 years no one will notice!

Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 20:42

hyphens around every word that you want struck out izzy

izzywizzywoowooo · 23/10/2010 20:42

Oh...I shall remember that for next time Grin Thanks!

Original poster
yertile · 23/10/2010 20:42

I agree izzy and I have a brother but I wouldn't tell him that his girlfriend was too old for him or not good enough for him etc as its none of my business and I just want him to be happy. It was the way she said she would step in to end it if I didn't which really annoyed me.

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 20:42

still are

testing theory

Jackin · 23/10/2010 20:43

I was involved with an older women when I was 17, it was great but we both got bored. And it ended amicably. It's all life expierence. Smile

ChaoticAngel · 23/10/2010 20:45

Jeez, some judgemental attitudes on this thread [hhmm] The relationship may,or may not, last but then relationships where the two people are similar ages don't always last either.

OP you really should have kept your cool. The best thing would have been to listen to her then walk out without a word. Then when you next saw your bf you could have told him that, although you understood that she was concerned about him, you were hurt and upset by her comments and the fact that she doesn't like you. That way you would have come out of it looking good while she would have looked a right bitch [hgrin]

Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 20:46

CA, she asked if she was Being Unreasonable. Some of us said yes, and gave reasons.
Isn't that how it works?