Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell her to fuck off

194 replies

yertile · 23/10/2010 18:43

I've been going out with this guy from work for the last 5 months. I really like him and he likes me, there is an age gap he's 21 and I'm 33 but its not an issue. His sister is driving me crazy, she obviously does not like me at all, today was the worst. She invited me out for a coffee supposedly to get to know me better so I thought I'd go as I would like to get on with her. When I got their she just ripped into me and told me that I was too old for him, she didn't like me and that I was just using him for a bit of fun. Then she said I had to end otherwise she would step in and do it herself.
I just told her to fuck off and stormed off but I'm fucking furious whats it got to with her, we're very happy together.

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 21:09

CA, that's exactly how I feel. The sneaky bit would involve introductions to exciting activities that happened to involve contemporaries, with some financial assistance and enthusiasm. I would not mention the new partner.
'Such a pity that they can't make it to X because of parental/work responsibilities, but it would be unfair of them to stop you going wouldn't it?'

pallette · 23/10/2010 21:10

Can I ask when you go out who pays because I'm guessing you must have more income than he if he is a student. She might see this as you trying to buy her brother and keep him as a trophy boy.

Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 21:11

'If this i something and longlasting the worst you can do is act inappropriate...she can say what she likes...you keep hold of your dignity@ thequim'

Too late, he's already got the role of bone between bitches in this exciting soap.

cumfy · 23/10/2010 21:12

What was his sister proposing to do ?

pallette · 23/10/2010 21:15

The OP said that his sister has going to step in and end the relationship so I'm guessing she would make him choose between his girlfriend or his sister, which if you've only been going out for 5 months doesn't put you in a good position OP against his sister who he grew up with.

Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 21:17

Maybe she'll just nag him and mock his choices.
Big sisters can be mean and know where all the buttons are.
Grin

Jackin · 23/10/2010 21:19

She wouldn't do that for long surely? He is her baby brother and she wouldn't be able to cut him off for long?

ChaoticAngel · 23/10/2010 21:19

I'll take it you're a big sister Goblin [hgrin]

cumfy · 23/10/2010 21:20

Ok, thats an interesting supposition P.

How would she rationalise [as opposed to just issuing an ultimatum] ?

Be nice to know what she in fact said.

thequimreaper · 23/10/2010 21:21

mumcentre - I disagree - there's little dignity in allowing people to get away with abusing you imo.

cumfy · 23/10/2010 21:21

rationalise it

Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 21:21

You've been in a relationship since May and are planning marriage and possible children?
I'd be discussing that plan with him if I were his sister. And pointing out all the roads not taken as a consequence.

whomovedmychocolate · 23/10/2010 21:23

I'm married to a man twenty years older than me. Everyone thought we wouldn't last as well. Well six years so far. So much for that 'quick shag' eh?

OP it's not helpful to tell the sister of your DB that she should fuck off, whatever the provocation. I would apologise if I were you. I would also get in first with your DB and say 'sorry I overreacted' or you will look like a harridan.

Remember, with the best will in the world she has been his sister for all their lives, you are fairly new. She may be a cowbag and she will out herself as such later, trust me on this, but for now, you need to say sorry.

cumfy · 23/10/2010 21:23

Then OP will shag him. :o

Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 21:24

'I'll take it you're a big sister Goblin'

I liked my little brother's girlfriends, and he has a lovely wife and children now.
However I will keep my knowledge of buttons for when my children attract attention I'm not happy about.
As I said, sneaky is more effective than yelling, confrontation and swearing.

SolidButShamblingUndeadBrass · 23/10/2010 21:30

He's an adult and his sister is not his keeper. YANBU to be dating this man (though after only 5 months with that much of an age gap, it's probably not great to be thinking of marriage and children just yet. Actually, 5 months into a relationship is early to be gagging for commitment whatever the ages of the participants).
It was a mistake to get cross with his sister, it's probably a good idea to apologise for overreacting and ffs don't start insisting he choose between his family and you. Your relationship may work out, it ay not, but be wary of turning it into some huge star-crossed lovers melodrama.
FWIW the last relationship I engaged in was with a man 9 years younger than me (no kids on either side) he was 29 when we met and I was 38. We had some fun together for about 18 months, then broke up amicably and still think well of each other.

Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 21:35

'expat I only have 1 dd at the moment'

So you are not the same Yertile who has a 3 year old son and is currently living with your brother?
That's a different Yertile?

Mumcentreplus · 23/10/2010 21:38

(she)'told me that I was too old for him, she didn't like me and that I was just using him for a bit of fun'..it's been 5 months...if thats not the case prove her wrong...from what the OP said she was not abused...just told some home truths and concerns...

Mumcentreplus · 23/10/2010 21:42

So you are challenged...big whoop!!...you should not be challenged by people who love your partner?...he's 21 3 yrs off 18 with a big arse woman...prove them wrong...but don't expect not to be challenged...

pallette · 23/10/2010 21:45

goblinchild where did she say she had a ds and lived with her brother.

Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 21:47

My problem is now I want to know the end of the story.
What's he studying?
What will he do when he graduates?
How will her toyboy's sister retaliate if the relationship continues?
I knew there was a reason I didn't watch reality TV. Far too addictive.

pallette · 23/10/2010 21:50

Goblinchild thats being a bit intrusive isn't it

Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 21:51

goblinchild where did she say she had a ds and lived with her brother.

I thought I'd have a search, because I remembered someone called Yertiletheturtle or somesuch, and I wondered if they were the same. I found a couple of posts for yertile, including the information about her DS.
So then I thought I'd got muddled again, because I thought she had a DD.
But it's yertile who is muddled. unless they are different people.

whenskiesaregrey · 23/10/2010 21:51

OP, as mumcentreplus says you will always be challenged when in a relationship like this. Over time, those close to you may see you are happy, and if they truely care for you, they will be glad you are happy. However, those that do not know you, or your relationship, very well will always snigger and make rude remarks. As I said earlier, it comes with the territory. And if you care enough about the relationship, you will have to take that on board unfortunatley.

Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 21:52

But that's the problem with this sort of thing, isn't it. I wanted to know how old her DD was, she didn't answer so I went to find out.

Swipe left for the next trending thread