Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell her to fuck off

194 replies

yertile · 23/10/2010 18:43

I've been going out with this guy from work for the last 5 months. I really like him and he likes me, there is an age gap he's 21 and I'm 33 but its not an issue. His sister is driving me crazy, she obviously does not like me at all, today was the worst. She invited me out for a coffee supposedly to get to know me better so I thought I'd go as I would like to get on with her. When I got their she just ripped into me and told me that I was too old for him, she didn't like me and that I was just using him for a bit of fun. Then she said I had to end otherwise she would step in and do it herself.
I just told her to fuck off and stormed off but I'm fucking furious whats it got to with her, we're very happy together.

OP posts:
baildonwen · 23/10/2010 20:47

If my brother came home with a girlfriend 12yo than him I wouldn't be very happy at all. Believe her when she says she will try and end it if it were my brother then my other sister would introduce him to some of her friends and I suspect she will do the same and you will be traded in for a younger model.

izzywizzywoowooo · 23/10/2010 20:47

Yertile don't worry about it like a PP said in 5, 10 yrs time no one will bat an eyelid.

My ex's brother used to literally lecture him everytime he saw him...Needless to say my Ex had his priorities at the time and said anymore and they will fall out. They fell out and it was the most peaceful time of my life! Grin

It is all good and well looking out for family but the OP boyfriend's sister just sounds rude to be honest. Yes it would of been better to be all nice and smug to annoy her but that is easier said than done when you have someone saying that shit to you.

izzywizzywoowooo · 23/10/2010 20:48

Why Baildonwen, What are you afraid will happen?

ChaoticAngel · 23/10/2010 20:49

Goblinchild she asked was she bu to tell the sister to fuck off, not for comments on the relationship.

thequimreaper · 23/10/2010 20:49

OP ignore the nasty comments on here. No-one knows if a relationship will last. Some do against the odds and some, apparent, matches made in heaven falter. When I moved in with my 22-year-old boyfriend at 17 and married him at 19 few people probably thought it would last. We're 9 years on now with 2 children and couldn't be happier.
Is your bf aware of the conversation with his sister? What is his take on it?

thequimreaper · 23/10/2010 20:49

I sense a bit of jealousy from a few on here too OP.....

thesecondcoming · 23/10/2010 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rindercella · 23/10/2010 20:51

OP, you really didn't do yourself any favours by telling your bf's sister to fuck off. Of course, she would have been far better off keeping her silence and letting her brother make his own decisions, whether or not she believes him to be mistaken.

Jackin · 23/10/2010 20:51

I think you could have said it better. Perhaps you should have said to her to come and speak to your bf together? (shrugs)

Goblinchild · 23/10/2010 20:53

'Goblinchild she asked was she bu to tell the sister to fuck off, not for comments on the relationship.'

Grin Senior Moment, it happens to us old people. So, not unreasonable to tell sister to butt out of her brother's relationships, but not unreasonable of the sister to be concerned either, and to try and put her off.
I'm more of a guerilla fighter than a direct confrontationalist. I find with young people, it's easier to win fights by being sneaky whilst appearing supportive.

Jackin · 23/10/2010 20:53

Then he'll see what a dick she's being

baildonwen · 23/10/2010 20:54

I'd have a problem with it because in all likelyhood the 33yo is probably using him for sex and that if a long term relationship were to develop it wouldn't last and I'd have to pick up the pieces as its either me or my sister who my brothers runs to when he has a problem or needs to talk.

dolphin13 · 23/10/2010 20:54

My dh is 10 years younger than me. He was 25 when we met and I had a 8 year old dd.
His mum and sister hated me and my baggage, but 14 years and two dc later we are still going strong. Mum and sister never accepted me though and we haven't spoken for many years.

So it can work op go for it.

forehead · 23/10/2010 20:54

OP, you shouldn't have sworn at your dp's sister, however i don't blame you for doing so.
My db's girlfriend is eight years older than him and it doesn't bother my family in the slightest.

izzywizzywoowooo · 23/10/2010 20:55

Baild - Who says that every elder woman is a sex starved maniac? She might just like the guy, he might act older than 21, who knows?

thequimreaper · 23/10/2010 20:56

The sister deserved a fuck off if you ask me. As she has stated her intention of splitting them up I doubt she would have been praising the OP to her family even if she had handled it differently.

baildonwen · 23/10/2010 20:57

I've know doubt she likes the guy particulary when the lights go out

Mumcentreplus · 23/10/2010 20:58

fuck off to sister is a no no..5 months together?..gimmie a break

grapeandlemon · 23/10/2010 20:58

She has some nerve saying that to you. Don't swear in future, just enjoy your time in love with your dp. Ignore the vicious comments on here some people are really just jealous or judgemental.

Narketta · 23/10/2010 20:59

thesecondcoming No I had no children when DH and I met.

I think relationships have more to do with mental age than actual age. Dh was and is mature for his age and i'm....Well a bit daftGrin

thequimreaper · 23/10/2010 21:03

Really mumcentre? Regardless of what was said to the OP first. Start as you mean to go on I say. If the relationship does last the course and loony sister thinks the OP is a doormat the OP will have to endure God knows how many years of the sisters digs and abuse over the Christmas dinner while she just has to nod and smile.

ChaoticAngel · 23/10/2010 21:03

Goblinchild [hgrin]

I have to admit, at the risk of being considered slightly hypocritical, that I would be concerned if my ds, who is currently 18, was seeing someone 12yrs older when he was 21 (although in my case it's more because he has ASD than actual age). However, I hope I could be supportive of him, while been ready to pick up any pieces that needed picking up, and hoping that for his sake the relationship either succeeded or ended amicably.

I still think the sister was out of order though. Her brother is an adult and needs to be able to make his own mistakes, if indeed this relationship is a mistake. It may not be.

Mumcentreplus · 23/10/2010 21:06

If this i something and longlasting the worst you can do is act inappropriate...she can say what she likes...you keep hold of your dignity@ thequim

pallette · 23/10/2010 21:07

She's being a big sister, I'm exactly the same my db will always be the little boy who came and hid in my bed. Regarding the OP I would have severe reservations if my db had a gf who was so much older than him and I probably would voice them if I'm being honest.

Mumcentreplus · 23/10/2010 21:08

In the furture you will stake your place as his partner...right now (5 months??) she is testing and why not?...