Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to storm out of family dinner...

250 replies

lecohen · 26/09/2010 23:55

Long story short, my niece bit my daughter in the face, hub and I shout at her to stop and we get an earful for shouting...niece gets no discipline, my child no sympathy.

OP posts:
PinkieMinx · 26/09/2010 23:56

Ages would help but at first glance YANBU Shock

schmoopoo · 26/09/2010 23:57

your family

mumof2children · 26/09/2010 23:58

my niece is 19 months old, my daughter is 15 months old ( plus a nephew in the mix around 17 months)

we don't tell off or punish, what we do it shared play...where we teach our children to take it in turn or share

gingerwig · 26/09/2010 23:58

if the niece is 25, and your daughter 29, leave them to it

Original poster
lecohen · 26/09/2010 23:59

Thanks...niece 2, my DD will be 2 in Dec.

This was not the first incident and not the first time we were the only ones to tell her off for doing it.

Parents do not consistently tell her off for it.

OP posts:
Tortington · 26/09/2010 23:59

pmsl

leave it its not worf it tracey

Northernlurker · 27/09/2010 00:00

Well assuming we are talking about small children then shouting doesn't help with biting and frankly if you shout at my child - whatever said child has done - I will tell you to back off and let me deal with it.

taintedpaint · 27/09/2010 00:00

How did you shout and what was shouted back at you? Need more info to make a proper judgement, but does sound like you needed to make a point.

Children are very young though....

gingerwig · 27/09/2010 00:00

DOn't storm out, stand your ground and tell the biter's parents it's not on.
Or just bite their noses and see how they like it

mumof2children · 27/09/2010 00:00

can i ask, while out does any one intract with the children or are they left alone to there own devices

Original poster
lecohen · 27/09/2010 00:01

Oh, and the incidents are never provoked...my Lo would just be standing next to her and my niece will decide to take a bite on her cheek.

OP posts:
PinkieMinx · 27/09/2010 00:01

Shouting was a bit much then but YANBU for walking out

Original poster
lecohen · 27/09/2010 00:03

I instinctively shouted "Ahhhh, stop" or something like that... I was sitting watching them, all family had back to them.

Then niece calmly stopped, my LO was crying...family attacked me for shouting...no repercussions for the biter.

OP posts:
Earlybird · 27/09/2010 00:04

If your niece is known for this sort of behaviour, and does it regularly unprovoked - then you should keep the children apart from each other.

How do they intend to deal with their child's behaviour? Other than ignore?

psychomum5 · 27/09/2010 00:05

but you had already told the biter off, so no need for a second telling off.....they are both still babies, never good to argue over children, they forget far quicker than adults and its never pretty.

I do hope you at least ate you dinner first!

newwave · 27/09/2010 00:05

The "earful" should have been met with a bigger earful from you in return and a suggestion you DH bit your DN as dn's parents do not seem to think it is a big deal (dont do it of course).

Some people are oblivious to the actions of their own kids. It needs to be nipped in the bud

LittleMissHissyFit · 27/09/2010 00:05

Erm, kind of no brainer, make sure they are seated separately?

Your niece is right at that age... sorry, but she is.

Don't much care for the attitude of the parents though, they ought to be a bit more understanding, but you and H shouting at their 19m old is not really on.

You need to get yourself at the right level, and say to niece NO BITING! firmly, and then move your DD away.

LittleMissHissyFit · 27/09/2010 00:07

oh sorry, confused wine the niece is not 19m...

Confused
Northernlurker · 27/09/2010 00:08

Oh ffs - she's a baby. This is not an attack on your dd - it's just what some babies do. Over-reacting to it is the worsst thing you can do. It's a shame for your dd but you are totally in the wrong here imo.

LittleMissHissyFit · 27/09/2010 00:08

OK, back up to speed

I stand by my original post

Original poster
lecohen · 27/09/2010 00:08

The shout was not more than a forceful "ahhhh, stop"... but I would expect the parents to have taken more notice.

My older DD was like that but we alwasy disciplined and removed her... she learnt!

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 27/09/2010 00:09

No she didn't 'learn' because you 'disciplined' her - she just grew out of it. That's what happens with BABIES biting.

mumof2children · 27/09/2010 00:09

never provoked, these are 2 year old.
i may being a bu.....but they don't think like an adult give your niece some slack

i know my niece and daughter are not alway playing nice, but me and my sister are always playing and on the floor.

our last family meal ended up with me on the floor with the girls and me eating nowt

taintedpaint · 27/09/2010 00:10

They're probably ignoring the biting in the hope that it's attention seeking. YANBU, but you're likely straying into an area where you're butting heads with family over how to discipline and how to handle difficult behaviour. Tricky. I would move my DD away from the offending DN if I were you, avoidance of a repeat performance is about the only way to handle this without further confrontation.

newwave · 27/09/2010 00:10

Seems like the parents need to learn as well