Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to storm out of family dinner...

250 replies

lecohen · 26/09/2010 23:55

Long story short, my niece bit my daughter in the face, hub and I shout at her to stop and we get an earful for shouting...niece gets no discipline, my child no sympathy.

OP posts:
mumof2children · 27/09/2010 00:32

and it is funny but the 2 year old niece was not in the slightest bit scared of the shout...just stopped doing it!

perhaps the parents have been telling her off then and not just leaving her to it

Original poster
lecohen · 27/09/2010 00:34

niece def knows it is wrong, she was looking at me as well!

OP posts:
cat64 · 27/09/2010 00:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Northernlurker · 27/09/2010 00:35

lecohen - I'm not the one shouting at toddlers - if anyone needs their rest it would be you I think. You asked if you were unreasonable and I think you were - very. I also think you don't understand toddlers very well and have probably very much upset your brother and his wife and indeed the rest of your family. If you don't want to hear that sort of response then try posting somewhere else next time you decide to rave at a baby.

Nellykats · 27/09/2010 00:37

I think lecohen found northern's relief at not being related to her rude, not the other comments s/he made

Original poster
lecohen · 27/09/2010 00:37

Cat read below...am happy for diff opinions, I can take it and have already stated that. I never made personal comments, read below and you will see that!

Not looking for hugs or sympathy but hey, i'll take it if offered it!

I didn't come here to be attacked either! A little tact goes a long way though!

OP posts:
mumof2children · 27/09/2010 00:37

so if your niece knows it is wrong ,then tbh what as a parent would you do

Original poster
lecohen · 27/09/2010 00:39

Northern, your comments add no value and I'd prefer for you to not reply further.

OP posts:
Original poster
lecohen · 27/09/2010 00:39

and yes Nelly, thanks for that!

OP posts:
Original poster
lecohen · 27/09/2010 00:40

if my child had bitten niece I would have immediately removed her from the room in a time out!

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 27/09/2010 00:41

Oh Lecohen - you should have been clear that this was only a thread for people who agreed with you. Hmm

cat64 · 27/09/2010 00:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Nellykats · 27/09/2010 00:42

:)

cat64 · 27/09/2010 00:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
lecohen · 27/09/2010 00:43

Several people have said IWU (or whatever the abbrev is) and I take no offence...maybe I was (can't see it yet though) but I didn't come here to be insulted, I thought we cold have adult perspectives!

Maybe I walked into a clique here!

OP posts:
Original poster
lecohen · 27/09/2010 00:45

"Northernlurker Mon 27-Sep-10 00:35:56
lecohen - I'm not the one shouting at toddlers - if anyone needs their rest it would be you I think. You asked if you were unreasonable and I think you were - very. I also think you don't understand toddlers very well and have probably very much upset your brother and his wife and indeed the rest of your family. If you don't want to hear that sort of response then try posting somewhere else next time you decide to rave at a baby"

Is this a polite comment?

And I did say below that I said "ahhh stop"...that is hardly raving is it?

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 27/09/2010 00:45

I don't 'know' any of the posters on this thread - sorry no clique going on.

Do you really think you handled the biting incident in absolute textbook fashion then?

MoralDefective · 27/09/2010 00:46

I don't think lecohen 'shouted at a baby',but if she did shout and that made the'baby'(toddler) stop biting another chid(hers),them that's not so bad...if she had hit the other child then that would be completley different.....shouting is not the end of the world...toddlers need to learn right from wrong and sometimes a bit of a jolt might reinforce that biting is not acceptable.......don't some nurseries exclude 'biters'...not saying they should,just that they do?

mumof2children · 27/09/2010 00:46

but if that was not working, trust me i losted count the amount of times i got pulled aside about my son biting.
we al learned he just loved the attention of being told off.

along side the nursery we decided that the injured child was going to get a sticker for being brave and a cuddle and also pick a story for hometime ...ds soon learned that positive behaviour would get him the attention without being told off

cat64 · 27/09/2010 00:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Nellykats · 27/09/2010 00:47

the smile was to you lecohen

I don't see what is unreasonable about reacting to your child being bitten in the FACE. Lecohen was shocked, the parents didn't bat an eyelid. It's ridiculous to say that she overreacted, those of you that defend the parents, what should lecohen do? give her niece an award?

goodnight from me

Original poster
lecohen · 27/09/2010 00:47

"text book fashion" certainly not...instinctive caring mother who sees a child biting her child - yes!

Did I handle the situation well?...not sure, do I stand by my belief that the child should have been disciplined rather than the diversion for my reaction? - I do!

OP posts:
MoralDefective · 27/09/2010 00:49

Which textbook are we reading from?....

Northernlurker · 27/09/2010 00:51

Any nursery that excludes biters shouldn't be in business. It's common behaviour that they should deal with as well as they can.

Advice on that from mumsnet here

Original poster
lecohen · 27/09/2010 00:51

Thanks moral, I did need that little pick me up...I didn't expect to come here and get insulted! I can take a different opinion but see no reason for rudeness!

OP posts: