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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

no disiplin!!!???!!!???!!!!???!!!!

201 replies

natz23 · 15/09/2010 17:00

my 11 month old daughter gets watched by the mother in law 2 days a week while i work, she also takes her grandson who is 2 and a half,
i cant stand it any more that i may just give up work.
he is a little shite!! to be honest..
i have recently witnessed him throwing his toys at her when she is trying to play, snatching them off her, standing on her feet while she crawls, pushes her.. and so on.
my mother in law, and the boys mother, ina very calm tone say... no no thats not nice
which has no impact whats so ever, hes not listeneing, i want to pull him from her and give him a right good shouting at!! what is wrong with them!! or am i being out or order?
his mum has said to me.. aww hes only 2 he dosnt know!!
bullshit! because when he stands on her hands he looks about to see whos watching! and im sorry but if he dosnt know, im pretty sure he should by that age!! no means no!!!
im so worried about my little girl, she dosnt understand why he does it and just sits and crys! i witnesed this and not one of them even payed it any notice! i was livid!!!!!!!!what is the matter with them?

apart from that hes a lovely little boy but i am starting to dislike him more and more, and dont want olivia or myself around him.
do people not know whow to give disicplin to thier children anymore??? a smack to my arse whne i was young did me no harm, and i soon learnt my lesson!
he gets away with murder!

cant wait till shes older and she can hit him back!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
natz23 · 15/09/2010 17:01

sorry fo the spelling errors

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 15/09/2010 17:02

Hes 2,hes not a little shite hth

BabyDubsEverywhere · 15/09/2010 17:03

is this real before i bother?

BooBooGlass · 15/09/2010 17:04

no spellin?!?!?!?!?!?!?

activate · 15/09/2010 17:04

I agree you should wait till she's older - how much you will learn by then

he's only 2 he doesn't know

pinkbasket · 15/09/2010 17:04

YABU.

If you think you can do a better job, you "watch him."

Sassybeast · 15/09/2010 17:05

Set up a boxing ring and let her give him a good punching ? Never to early to start throwing fists around IMO.

Giddyup · 15/09/2010 17:06

Pop back in a few years when you have had a toddler.... Also, you believe that the best way to teach a tiny child not to be aggressive and violent is to hit them? great logic natz23

Greensleeves · 15/09/2010 17:07

so you would like her to hit him?

great idea Hmm

Lulumaam · 15/09/2010 17:07

good lord woman.

firstly,it's discipline

secondly, you complain about how awful this wee boy is then end by saying you can't wait until your DD can hit him back Hmm

am presuming you don't have a 2 year old or much experience of them, or you would know everything you describe is normal boundary pushing behaviour for a 2 year old

you need to put this thought of him being a shite out of your head, because when your DD hits 2 or 3 and displays similar behaviour, how will you react?

i would suggest you look for alternative childcare if you don't like the way your MIL looks after him.. but i imagine it's free ?

i had a friend who was quite sneery with me when my DD went through a very challenging phase and she was quite rude to me and DD. her only child was a a baby at that time.

fast forward two years, her son was doing just the same thing and she was mortified

Lulumaam · 15/09/2010 17:08

I hope I spelt discipline right Grin

2shoes · 15/09/2010 17:08

yabu
sounds normal for a 2 yr old to me.
my DN was a bit like that with ds.
he grew out of it

BabyDubsEverywhere · 15/09/2010 17:09

okay then...

...so you want his nan to hit him, his mother to hit him, he hits your daughter, you hope she will hit him, you plan to hit your daughter.

That would make a perfect show title for Jezza, feel free to use it when you make the call natz23

KurriKurri · 15/09/2010 17:10

Assuming this is real - that's an awful lot of venom directed at a tiny boy, he's not old enough to empathise properly with others feelings. 2 year olds are basically completely self centred. Maybe you should read up on what can be expected of a child of two before yours reaches that age and you start 'smacking her arse.'

Greensleeves · 15/09/2010 17:11

I hope you're a troll.

I can't bear people who think "disiplin" means "hitting"

depressing, and thick.

StewieGriffinsMom · 15/09/2010 17:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 15/09/2010 17:11

urgh

he is two

this is normal

he is just a baby, too

how horrid to describe you nephew as a shite, poor wee chap

if you are not happy about the care given by MIL then enrol DD into nursery or with a CM

choufleur · 15/09/2010 17:12

He's two! It's not nice behaviour but he's no different from most 2 year olds. He should be reprimanded for hitting and standing on her hands etc and asked to share but he is still learning.

Original poster
natz23 · 15/09/2010 17:12

we do pay her actually, and no i wouldnt feel better if she hit him, but at least tell him its wrong!! they just sit there and let him do it and dont bother when she crys!
sorry but im so protective of my little girl, and it breaks my heart to think he is doing that when im not there, and not getting told not to!
i cant explain to you what this little boy is like, sorry but he is a little shite!
he even slaps his mum and she just laughs!!

i have mentioned it to my partner and he has seen is recently as well and isnt happy, i think hes going to have a word because its not fair. he has literally thrown a toy from one side of them room at her! a hard toy!! so if you cant understand how that dosnt worry me i dont know what else to say.
and yea i wish she would hit him back, because shes the only one that can do somthing about it by the looks of it! when im not there im pretty sure nothing gets said, as it didnt when i was there!

OP posts:
prozacfairy · 15/09/2010 17:13

If you don't like how your DD is looked after you should find alternative childcare.

As for your nephew- he's being a normal 2 year old by the sound of it- showing some very shitty behaviour and seeing what he can get away with. My DD can be like this but doesn't get away with it.

YANBU to be frustrated but it isn't this little boy's fault.

Greensleeves · 15/09/2010 17:13

no, he is not a little shite, he is a little boy

grow up and stop being so dense

BooBooGlass · 15/09/2010 17:14

For goodness sake, grow the hell up. Let's reverse it. Your dd whacks him one so the mil smacks her. Still so happy about the 'disiplin'? You plank.

Greensleeves · 15/09/2010 17:15

we ALL feel protective of our children, and we all feel upset when other children hurt them

but you have to be an ADULT, control your gut reactions and understand that this is what children do, fgs

you can't go around calling children "shite" and wanting other people to hit them

what are you going to do when your dd goes through this stage? Well, we know the answer to that, don't we Sad

Original poster
natz23 · 15/09/2010 17:16

just to get the record straight i dont believe disipline means hitting! my dad used that as disipline and would never do it myself, im just angry! i think he should be told firmly that its wrong, maybe take his toys away if hes only going to use them to hit her!?
send him to his room, ? i dont know i dont have a toddler, this is my first and maybe ill understand better when she is older but at the moment i just want to cry.
i would enrol in a nursery but its a lot of hassle for ehere we live and where we owrk, wouldnt really work.. but we do pay his mum good money to watch her!

OP posts:
mamatomany · 15/09/2010 17:16

The MIL should protect your child whilst she is in her care, it's the MIL that is shit, she knows better the 2 year old doesn't.