no disiplin!!!???!!!???!!!!???!!!!

[natz23]

my 11 month old daughter gets watched by the mother in law 2 days a week while i work, she also takes her grandson who is 2 and a half,
i cant stand it any more that i may just give up work.
he is a little shite!! to be honest..
i have recently witnessed him throwing his toys at her when she is trying to play, snatching them off her, standing on her feet while she crawls, pushes her.. and so on.
my mother in law, and the boys mother, ina very calm tone say... no no thats not nice
which has no impact whats so ever, hes not listeneing, i want to pull him from her and give him a right good shouting at!! what is wrong with them!! or am i being out or order?
his mum has said to me.. aww hes only 2 he dosnt know!!
bullshit! because when he stands on her hands he looks about to see whos watching! and im sorry but if he dosnt know, im pretty sure he should by that age!! no means no!!!
im so worried about my little girl, she dosnt understand why he does it and just sits and crys! i witnesed this and not one of them even payed it any notice! i was livid!!!!!!!!what is the matter with them?

apart from that hes a lovely little boy but i am starting to dislike him more and more, and dont want olivia or myself around him.
do people not know whow to give disicplin to thier children anymore??? a smack to my arse whne i was young did me no harm, and i soon learnt my lesson!
he gets away with murder!

cant wait till shes older and she can hit him back!!!

but throwing is normal

he is exploring trajectory

he is still learning what is appropriate behaviour - throwing outside should be acceptable, throwing indoors is a no-no but he hasn't yet assimilated that yet

I'd be very careful fo the legality of paying a relative for childcare too. presumably she's qualified and registered....

Maybe they were waiting for you to say something> Why didn't you say anything?

He is also a baby.

If you don't like the way your DD is looked after chnage your childcare arrangements.

Everybody feels protective of their babies.If you are not happy with your child care arrangement, pay someone else to do it

and im not a flaming plank!!! me grow up??????? christ im not going to start beating my daughter! i would never harm her, this place is just nasty, thanks for your opionions, was my own fault for posting and asking, im not a bad mum i wouldnt ever hit my daughter, ive just got myself worked up so much about it, im just leaving it at that now im just more upset for posting in the first place and getting called names, sorry if you all have the wrong idea here ive obviously worded things wrong, sorry if i have offended anyone, just bit lost at how to feel

pfb much? Your MIL is responsible for them so should be making sure this is stopped and he is kept amused. He is TWO ffs. How can you swear about him.

It's hard watching your kid being hit by another even when you know they're too young to fully understand. The 2 year old will be doing it because they don't understand how to share etc etc.

When I took my DS (11 months) to a playgroup, there was one boy, about 2, who used to follow DS around taking away every toy he played with. I got pretty annoyed as the mum didn't really say much, just said feebly to share etc.

In the end I just took DS away and played with something else and ignored the boy. It was hard but what can you do?

booboo there is no legal bar to close relative care

OP

MIL needs to be anticipating the throwing/hitting/whatever, and either lift your baby out of the way or distract/divert your nephew before he acts, or be on hand to parry the blow/step

You no doubt reside under a bridge but if you don't then...you really, really scare me.

And your spelling is atrocious

you're not listening.

this is what 2 year olds do

you will encounter it at playgroups, nurseries, child minders, etc

so you either accept it wherever your child is being cared for, or stay at home with her

but you need to gain some understanding of toddlers before your DD is one

I think people have been a bit harsh natz.

I know he's 2 and I have no idea what I'll do when DS is that age - but do you just let them behave that way? When do you start teaching them? Instinctively I would say no and move the boy away. Is that reasonable?

Find a childminder
Or a nursery

Why is this not an option?

He is only 2

It is normal behaviour

It does need to be addressed - how else will he learn?

If your mil is not willing to do it - withdraw your daughter from the situation and find alternative childcare arrangements.

natz - I'm sympathetic. I have an 11 month old DD too and if I saw an older child harming her in any way, it would drive me nuts. I can understand why this is upsetting you.

I think you need to take a step back and look at the situation. You can't change his behaviour, or the attitude of his mother or grandmother towards it. There are only two things you can do - decide that the others on this forum are right, that it's normal 2-year old behaviour and you aren't going to get upset by it, or find another carer for your DD. I'm sure you can find a way of explaining this to your MIL without upsetting her.

If your DH is able to have a word with his mother and this has an effect, then that's great, but you might have to accept that the onus is on you to change things.

But, I think, above all, you need to be a grown up and recognise that your nephew is a child. You can't talk about hitting him or calling him names. That's not setting the right example for your daughter.

Oh, just seen it's 'too much hassle'

well, if your first post on a parenting forum is to call another child a "shite" and say that he should be shouted at and hit

what did you expect?

igglybuff thankyou.
no i do say to him that its wrong when he does it, and MIL just kinda shruggs it off, no one really listens to me or even seems to notice whats going on, i think maybe best to sit and chat with mil and let her know my concerns,
other childcare isnt an option just now unfortunatley

You said that they do explain to him its wrong, and "a smack never done you no harm"(or similar)... so your later posts are slightly different to your OP

natz23 Have you tried the Bounty forums?
I think they'll offer you more support :)

The OP is all over the shop. Can't even be arsed reading it.

I'll take a shot in the dark and say YABU.

God you lot are harsh. Dont any of you remember what it was like to see your babies pushed around by toddlers - they look so big and your child looks so small and defenceless. It awakens your inner lioness. That said he is behaving like a normal jealous 2 year old. Its your mil you should be cross with for not addressing this properly and protecting your dd. I'd be having serious words with them.

apologise for calling him a shite, calmed down a bit. was harsh, he is lovely, just dosnt really understand what hes doing because he isnt told.
he dosnt go to nursey because his mum took him out, because he was crying all the time, she only had him there for 2 days, hes not really used to being around other children

Why is other childcare not an option?