To be angry that 30 year old fatties are moaning!?!

[sugarray]

My little boy has recently been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I was totally heartbroken when we found out! Since then when people have offered him sweets/at partys/in shops, when I have to tell people he can't have things and why, This is usually followed by chubbie thirty to fifty year olds moaning to me that they or a relative have type 2 diabetes and how hard it is for them!

Type 2 is self inflicted.... btw..
I am soo angry that this has happened to my son.... He is only 4 (through no fault of his own Or anyone else) I just want to shout at them to shut up,stop eating so much shit and move around a bit more!!

This may not make sense, but AIBU?

Yes, but you know that. Their condition has no bearing on your son's.

That said, there's nothing like the blind dealer of chance dealing those you love a shit hand to bring on the rage. I'll be a wee bit out of line here, with your indulgence, and suggest your anger isn't something you'd want your DS to pick up on, be it over his condition nor its relative position in the pantheon of crosses to bear.

If it's any consolation, I have a good friend who has lived with type 1 since a nipper and is happy, lovely and wwwwwwwwwonderful! DS'll be fine and dandy, I'm sure. x

I don't think my ds picks up on anything as I am generally polite to people and rage to dh when he gets home and kids are tucked up! We are always positive with him and it helps that my sister is also type 1. I think the major issue for me is that type 2's think diabetes is diabetes!!... It's not!!
It is so hard telling a 4 yr old he can't have this , that and the other and then..... a woman the other day was trying to force ds into having a sweets from her, I said no and I explained the problem. She instantly told my son she is a diabetic,how awful it is for her BUT she can still have sweets, choc, cake and eat what she likes and it's all ok..... That's how she bloody got it!!! It is so confusing for him anyway. I just want them to shut up! We visit diabetic clinics so often and I can't seem to get away fom these people!!! It is driving me crazy!

Of course you're being unreasonable. And unpleasant, and fatphobic, and judgemental. Type II diabetes is not "got" from eating cake, FFS. Lifestyle factors play into the risk of developing it, which is not at ALL the same thing as it being self-inflicted. I would expect, if your son has diabetes, that you would know that.

I'm sorry about your son. But it doesn't give you license to be so deeply unpleasant about other people with a genuine illness.

You are ranting because you feel bad about the perceived injustice of it all, but you are coming across a bit trollish tbh (if this is real). I have a child who was born with a brain disorder, but I wouldn't start a thread berating people who had sustained brain damage through rock climbing or motorcycling, or just plain bad luck.

If you need support, ask for it- but don't be a twat. It won't help.

Don't know about unreasonable but you are certainly being extremely unpleasant. I understand you are upset and angry but really, focus on your problems rather than being nasty about others. You remind me of a group of people I worked with who were HIV+ who spent the whole time playing "my situation is worse than yours" rather than working together for a bettere deal for all - not nice.

YANBU. I don't know why these posters are giving you a hard time. Maybe they've been on the booze and are looking for a rant / fight.

I think there are some good receipes for diabetics to be found. Have a hunt around, and you can create some alternative treats for your little one.

Yes, that's it. I'm here at my desk at midday, drunk and looking for a fight. It's nothing at all to do with the desire to stand up for people with a disease against someone who is calling them "fatties" and "wanting to shout at them to shut up [and] stop eating so much shit" because I'm a decent fucking human being.

Maybe people are just struggling to say the right thing and want to be empathetic, but it is coming across wrong. Type II diabetes can be genetic you know and there are some ethnic groups that are much more prone than others - Pacific people for example. A 'fatty' rant in Auckland (the world's biggest Pacific city) would get you a Samoan punch on the nose.

I do think YABVU to say that "Type 2 is self inflicted.... btw...". It is NOT always self-inflicted, sometimes it is, but definately not always! My late father had late onset type 2 diabetes which was genetic. He was a fit healthy man before he developed it. He was able to have the odd bit of chocolate, sweets or a pint of beer in moderation because he knew his limits and how to control his diabetes with diet and medication. You need to be fully educated before you have a go at others (whether it's to their face or behind their back's).

I do agree though that they are being unreasonable by 'pressuring' him into having sweets. His diabetes needn't come into it, if he or an adult with him say no to the sweets that should be enough, you shouldn't be forced into revealing his medical condition because they won't take no for an answer.

You are upset that your little boy has been diagnosed with diabetes; of course that is upsetting for him, for you, for all your family.

It is also understandable that, because you are upset, you are lashing out at people who don't understand your son's condition. Yes, the woman you describe is perfectly unreasonable in trying to prescribe sweets etc. to your son. But, you know - not all Type 2 diabetics, or even ordinary "fatties", are quite as unreasonable as that.

Please re-read the posts above, especially those from Heracles and Tortoise - you are upset, but they make good points, which perhaps you can accept when you are a bit calmer.

Good luck to you and your little one.

Yabu. My dh developed type 2 in his 30s despite bmi of 27 (slightly high but he's vert muscly) and he was fit enough to run marathons at the time. He just has rubbish family history. His mum died of diabetes complications age 56 - type 2 again. She wasn't very overweight either - I'm much heavier than she ever was but my sugars are perfect (I just had a baby 3 months ago and I'm working on it).

They are 2 different illnesses though. Type 1 is total lack of insulin. Type 2 means your body doesn't respond to the insulin you produce although some people with type 2 don't produce insulin properly as well. If the body doesn't respond properly to insulin as in type 2 then more and more insulin is released. One of insulin's jobs is to get the body to store fat so people with type2 pile the weight on much easier than other people. And the more fat a person stores the less they respond to insulin so the more insulin they release and the more fat is stored. It's a real vicious circle. Not a nice condition.

I hope your son does well but the stress of coping with his diagnosis doesn't mean you should lack compassion for others.

Type II is indeed diabetes. Get off your 'my son is sicker than you' high horse.

I suppose you think Gestational Diabetes isn't diabetes either? Or that its 'self-inflicted' because gasp the person chose to gain weight to OMG have a baby?

Really, I know its hard having a young child with Diabetes, my nephew has it. He is also allowed the occasional sweet.

Oh and it is perfectly possible to say 'sorry, he can't have that, I don't like him to eat sweets' without getting all in their faces about your son having diabetes.

Tee - Type II diabetic for 4 years.

YABU, not all Type 2 diabetes is related to "being a fattie"
BTW, I am a GP specialising in diabetes, so I know a little of this topic and is close to my heart.
Yes indeed some Type 2's are triggered/caused by diet/lifestyle, but most are genetic.
Also a lot of Type 1 teens and youngsters manage their diabetes appalingly with terrible outcomes, whose fault is that??

Am sorry for your little boy and I am sure you are shocked and upset. It is though nowadays a very manageable disease. You are however ranting at the wrong people (though I do understand your anger, and yes life is often unfair).

How about being grateful, they he wasnt born 50 years ago, when there was no or poor insulins, and his morbidity and mortality would have been hugely reduced. Good luck try and be positive it is a big factor for youngsters with diabetes.

Your anger is wholly misplaced and you come across as ignorant and unreasonable and unpleasant by having a go at overweight and diabetic women.

I am sorry your little boy has diabetes, it must be a difficult time as a parent but I think you need to get your anger out in a more healthy way

I totally understand where you are comng from, it's horrible when your child has to be treated differently. You are bound to be hugely angry, and upset becasue your child has a serious health condition, which is no ones fault.

However, type 2 diabetes is not as simple as "self inflicted" - yes, lifestyle plays a large part, but so do genetics etc. Type 2 diabetics still have the same health problems as other diabetics. Still have to make the same lifestyle adjustments.

However, this is not the first time I have heard from a type 1 person that type 2s are fat, lazy people who deserve no better than to be ill. it's like some kind of competition.

Not healthy in the long term and won't help you or your son adjust and live productively.

Op is totally out of touch with reality. sorry. but she will learn soon. probably this has all come as an understandable shock to her, her ds i mean. but her comment on type 2 is nonsense.

by the way i am type 1. diagnosed aged 1. now 37. and i am not overweight.
dh is type 2. has been for 6 years. and is overweight.

so, yes. i do know what i'm talking about.

by the way, op i was never denied anything. i think its wrong to deny a diabetic child chocolate. this just builds resentment.
you cna build in a tiny bit of chocolate into a diabetic childs diet. my mum gave me a tiny bit of baked alaska etc every day.
and i am fine.
you will learn this over time. you are just in shock now.and making silly uninformed comments.

but later when you have calmed down. come back.and i will help you all i can.

i have done this many time on mn. and there are plenty of other diabetics here to help you aswell. if you want the help.

My sons friend has diabetes ( type 1 is we are being judgy).
His parents have helped him manage his condition. He is sensible and manages his diet and insulin etc - when he stays he brings his kit and it is always in his bag. He is a charming healthy sensible young man.

I imagine his parents gelt a very similar sense of upset when they got his diagnosis. Buttheir ability to be calm and measured, loving and supportive has made this just a slightly annoying part of his very normal life.

Raging and abusing others will help you feel better for the time being. But I wonder what you neagtivity and nastiness will do to your child in the long term?

Take a week to get over your frustration. Then grow up and make this about your son leading a positive healthy life rather than about your being bitter and pissed off

I have PCOS and have gained weight because of it. I eat one piece of toast for breakfast, 2 pieces of rivita with low fat cream cheese for lunch and a small meat and 2 veg meal in the evening. I don't snack during the day but I do, shock horror, let myself have the odd square of chocolate in the evening if I've had a rough day. Because of my weight and PCOS related health issues I have to be checked for type 2 diabetes. Luckilly I've never developed it but if I did, what exactly would you like me to cut out of my diet??

by the way. hello to macdoodle. we meet again.
we keep offering our services to try and help people. hopefully this poster will let us give the wealth of experience that we have.

I am very sorry about your DS's diagnosis and can understand what a shock it must be. It is difficult for people to know what to say at times, getting cross about it isn't going to help anyone .

My very thin, has eaten a vegetarian diet, never smoked, always exercised, has brought up a son who has been type 1 since the age of 7 (my DH) FIL has just been diagnosed as type 2. And it hard for him, he is in his 80s.

It's very early days yet but you will come to terms with this. These days there is a huge amount of support available to you. Come back in a bit and pick the brains of people like Oblomov.

my dad has type 2 diabetes but is a fit and healthy 76 year old who still works, sails and goes to the gym-and is not overweight.

I work with a Type I bloke (young, thin, plays a lot of sport) and a Type II bloke (slightly older, thin, plays a lot of sport, and I had Gestational diabetes (young, thin, not so much with the sport), so we covered the gamut between us. I'll have to be tested for Type II in later years, because GD is often an indicator that one has a genetic predisposition towards Type II.

The difference that I can see between them is that Mr Type I, because he has to take insulin every day anyway, can adjust the dose a little bit to allow for treats, and eats a balanced diet containing some indulgences. Mr Type II, because he controls it purely by diet and exercise, has to be very careful with his food and is more abstemious. So it's certainly not the case that Type IIs can eat whatever they want and Type Is can't.

YABU and also intolerant and ignorant.