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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry that 30 year old fatties are moaning!?!

506 replies

sugarray · 25/08/2010 02:37

My little boy has recently been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I was totally heartbroken when we found out! Since then when people have offered him sweets/at partys/in shops, when I have to tell people he can't have things and why, This is usually followed by chubbie thirty to fifty year olds moaning to me that they or a relative have type 2 diabetes and how hard it is for them!

Type 2 is self inflicted.... btw..
I am soo angry that this has happened to my son.... He is only 4 (through no fault of his own Or anyone else) I just want to shout at them to shut up,stop eating so much shit and move around a bit more!!

This may not make sense, but AIBU?

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 26/08/2010 20:49

Thanks Ruby, nice shit-stirring there btw. Smile

SoupDragon · 26/08/2010 21:22

You did say that it was offensive to look at someone like Dawn French.

kittywise · 26/08/2010 22:28

Yes I don't like it, not my cup of tea no. very different to being disgusted etc etc.
I am happy to discuss the words I have used, honestly. I am not willing to discuss spurious interpretations of the words I have used or completely made up versions of the words I have used.
It is not a crime to find someone the size of Dawn French unattractive to look at.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 26/08/2010 22:57

I posted this earlier - I note that kitty still hasn't come up with an answer for any of what I said.

.....maybe, like me, they are struggling with depression, and just can't do everything at once.

Tbh, I think it is more important that I work on pulling myself out of the depression (than that I lose weight), so that I don't slip back to a point where I am seriously considering suicide almost every day, can see no point in living, and think my family would be better off without me.

Kitty - has it ever occurred to you that you might be missing out on knowing some great people, because of your 'fat people are disgusting' attitude? I know lots of people who are fun, wise, supportive, intelligent, friendly, generous and caring - and here's the big surprise - many of them are overweight.

Being overweight doesn't make me a bad person - I can (and intend to) change my weight - it's a lot harder to change from being unpleasantly judgemental. I may be slim one day - will you always be nasty, kittywise?

I would still like to know kitty's response to the points and questions in this post.

Original poster
sugarray · 27/08/2010 00:39

Tbh, I think you're trying to continue something that has now fizzled out.

OP posts:
kittywise · 27/08/2010 07:39

sdtg
I am a nice person, I have said things here that people don't like. However, that is a teeny teeny tiny part of my life and how I interact this is the internet you know.
It's makes me laugh so much regarding the mentality of posters on MN, you're on a thread that pisses people off BIG time and then you become a monster in all aspects of your life.
That's not adult reasoning.
I actually don't know many fat people, its just the way it seems to be. I don't actively avoid them!!! My social group is at school mainly. There aren't many overweight people there, quite the opposite, there are quite a few horribly skinny women, that's not nice to look at really. I want to give them a bag of chips.
I think you should get the depression under control of course, that is really important and I wish you every success. But you know that the weight probably has a lot to do with the depression.
I wish you luckSmile

SoupDragon · 27/08/2010 09:07

No, you said she was offensive to look at, not that it wasn't your cup of tea. That's not 'very different' to disgusted. TBH its more to do with the way your words come across though, your tone here certainly conveys your disgust/contempt even without you using those words. You come across here as nasty and without any sort of empathy or compassion. Of course, that may not be what you are Iike at all. Hiding rudeness behind a banner of "I say what I mean" as if that is a virtue doesn't make it any less rude.

SoupDragon · 27/08/2010 09:11

But, I don't actually care so am hiding this thread.

Altinkum · 27/08/2010 09:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 27/08/2010 10:31

Kitty - I suspect you subconsciously avoid fat people - your eye skates over them because you find them so offensive to look at. And that means you are missing out - a person is so much more than just their appearance, so if appearance is such a major factor in whether you want to spend time with someone (as it appears to be for you), you are not going to see the great person behind the appearance/fat.

It seems to me that your prejudice against fat people is so strong that you would find it almost impossible to ignore someone's appearance so that you could get to know them well enough to decide whether you like them or not - and that is hugely sad for you.

I am told I am funny, intelligent, caring and a great friend (even though I find that hard to believe of myself) - but you would never get to know that because of my weight.

I suspect that the weight is more a symptom of the depression than a cause, though they do feed into eachother. But tackling depression as deep and longstanding as mine takes a huge amount of effort and energy (which I lack), and that makes weightloss even harder than it already is. I go to the gym, when I have the energy and motivation, and that makes me feel good - but the people like you who look at me in the street and judge me don't know anything about the depression or the gym, or the food I cook at home (mainly from scratch, and using plenty of fresh veg) - and knowing that people are judging me as stupid, lazy, feckless etc really adds to the depression. Being judged my you here isn't helping me.

NestaFiesta · 27/08/2010 10:55

Sorry, I am still reeling from sugaray's opening post. Type 2 is self inflicted? Are you somehow impying that people who have this deserve it because they are overweight?

My DH is diabetic, Type 2 (the greedy fat bastard). Both his parents are diabetic, so is his brother,uncle, great uncle and so was his grandmother. He never stood a chance, He would have developed it if he had eaten only raw veg the whole of his life.

He is a wonderful father of 2 and is at risk of heart disease, stroke, pancreatitis, blindness and amputation.

You're telling me this was self inflicted and therefore does not deserve sympathy? Almost everyone I know has a less healthy diet and drinks more than he does, and they are not diabetic. You beggar belief and you are ignorant and not very nice. This is old fashioned prejudice which causes a great deal of harm and misunderstanding.

Original poster
sugarray · 28/08/2010 03:32

Nesta, not once did i say type 2s deserve it, nor did i say they do not deserve sympathy. Also i did not impy that you Must be overweight to have type2. I merely said that i was pissed off with the 30 yr old fattie that tried to force crap food on my son had pissed me off basicaly! She mianed about how hard it is, told me she knew she'd done it to herself and STILL tried to tell mt son that eating shit is ok. All of the things your dh is at risk of... my ds is too, however i am well aware that well controlled diabetes these things can be avoided!

You can call me ignorant all you like, but i can only go by what my experiances have been and what i have been told by the diabetic team. If you have read my further posts then you will see this.
My op is an angry one, after coming home fron the clinic listening to similar stories. Im heartbroken this is happening to my 4 yr old and had a rant about it.! That does not make me a na.sty person, just a pissed off mum!

OP posts:
NestaFiesta · 29/08/2010 13:51

"I think the major issue for me is that type 2's think diabetes is diabetes!!... It's not!!"

OP- how can you possibly beleive this to be true. Ask any doctor or nurse. You have obviously been to diabetic clinics. Do you think they don't treat Type 2s there? Have you even looked at the Diabtetes UK webiste? Educate yourself more on this matter- it may be helpful to your son and get rid of this bitter streak in you. Nobody wants their son to have Type 1 diabetes, but the ignorant comments you are making are setting Diabetes awareness back decades.

It is irresponsible to say Type 2 is not diabtetes and that it is self inflicted. Very, very wrong and hurtful.

SugarMousePink · 29/08/2010 15:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
sugarray · 29/08/2010 16:38

Nesta, i didn't mean type two is NOT diabetes. I meant that type 1 and 2 are not the same thing!

Sugarmouse, I wasn't aware fattie was sooo bad,i often
use the terms fattie or chubba to decribe myself, because that's what i am! I don't find it offensive, It's just fact imo!
I guess it comes across a bit fat phobic, but it was meant to be descriptive .

OP posts:
SugarMousePink · 29/08/2010 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NestaFiesta · 29/08/2010 17:45

Type 1 and type 2 are both diabetes. As a previous poster said, type 1 produces no insulin and type 2 either produces too little or uses it ineffectively.

Type 1 diabteics need to inject daily, sometimes several times a day, as do many type 2 diabetics such as my husband. Both types are diabetics, and often the treatment can be the same. Both types are rooted in an insulin deficiency or absence. Both are diabetes mellitus.

I am very sorry for you and your son, but as SugarMouse said, you are lashing out at the wrong group. Type 2 diabetics are just as entitled to sympathy and understanding as type 1. Your original post suggests otherwise.

You really should look at the Diabetes UK website. It would help your son too.

BTW- if someone referred to me as a "fattie" I would be deeply offended.

betelguese · 04/10/2010 23:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stretchmummy · 04/10/2010 23:39

My MIL is a size 8 and a Type 2 diabetic. She also has high BP and cholesterol.
My Dad is overweight and also a Type 2 but tell me what he's done to deserve the crippling pains in his legs and his deteriorating sight?

ColdComfortFarm · 04/10/2010 23:40

Gosh, my late mother-in-law had type 2 diabetes. She was slim, used to cycle everywhere until her arthritis and other health problems got the better of her. Hardly ever had a much a a glass of sherry, ate home cooked three veg type meals. I am very sad that you say that other people 'deserve' their diabetes. I am sure you are very sad about your son, but people like my lovely MIL didn't give it to him. You did say 'Type 2 is self-inflicted'. well, no, not always, actually. It's just the same unlucky hand that your son was dealt.

betelguese · 05/10/2010 00:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hmc · 05/10/2010 00:13

Sorry about your son - genuinely.

But YABVU

ChippingIn · 05/10/2010 00:36

old thread alert

TallulahBloggs · 05/10/2010 09:51

"Type 2 is self inflicted.... btw"

Coming out of lurkdom to say: not necessarily! My grandfather had type 2 diabetes but it most certainly was not self-inflicted. He was stationed in Malta during WW2 when it was besieged by the Nazis, and as a result spent weeks living on little more than grass and molasses. This extremely poor diet led to diabetes.

Type 2 can also be a result of a poor diet in early life, so many adults who have it will do so as a result of being fed bad food as children, not because of choices made in adulthood. Furthermore, some people have a higher than average risk of contracting it despite eating a relatively healthy diet, just the same as heart disease, cancer etc. To suggest that anyone who has such an illness is at fault is both inaccurate and judgmental, so yes, YABU!

TallulahBloggs · 05/10/2010 09:52

Sorry, just noticed it's an old thread blush ... shuffles of back to lurking