To be angry that 30 year old fatties are moaning!?!

[sugarray]

My little boy has recently been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I was totally heartbroken when we found out! Since then when people have offered him sweets/at partys/in shops, when I have to tell people he can't have things and why, This is usually followed by chubbie thirty to fifty year olds moaning to me that they or a relative have type 2 diabetes and how hard it is for them!

Type 2 is self inflicted.... btw..
I am soo angry that this has happened to my son.... He is only 4 (through no fault of his own Or anyone else) I just want to shout at them to shut up,stop eating so much shit and move around a bit more!!

This may not make sense, but AIBU?

hardly altinkun, because your son is not responsible for his diet, so it can't be self inflicted. that's a silly thing to say.
It is self inflicted when the person eating knows the risks , knows the consequences , has a choice and choses to carry on regardless.

I do think anger is normal by the way. When ds1 was younger I couldn't tolerate anyone complaining about their child talking too much. It was like a red rag. It is I think helpful to know the anger passes as I hated feeling angry and bitter.

The anger sometimes starts to return at difficult times (eg summer holidays :o) but in the main it's gone.

My dad has type 2. He's not fat, never has been. Was very active, didn't drink or smoke. He nearly lost his foot and is very close to losing his only good eye (lost the other in an accident as a child). He's a shadow of the man I know. So I'm sorry about your son, I truly am. But I'm glad that my fathers condition makes you feel better about yourself. When he actually loses his sight I'll come back and tell you so that you can really get a kick.

longtailjosie I'd be wagging my finger at you if you developed health problems because of your eating/lifestyle and wouldn't do any thing about it yes. But at the moment you haven't. Let's hope you never do.

Kittywise: have you an eating disorder yourself? Because you might be headed for one - a hysterically judgemental attitude towards other people's size is not just the sign of a fucking idiot, but often someone who is on the path towards developing an eating disorder and posters should perhaps be more compassionate to you.

Hmm, no hang on, I got that wrong - it's people like you who help to cause dangerous obesity. Because fat people with poor health generally got that way through repeated (unsuccessful or only temporarily successful) dieting - the entire slimming industry is as big a con as religion - and the stress caused by vicious ignorant morons tormenting them.
It's not, actually, particularly unhealthy to be fat, if you are active. THin people who keep their weight down by starving, taking amphetamines and never do any exercise are much less healthy than fat sportspeople or dancers.

OP, I am very sorry to hear about your son's recent diagnosis. And it horrifies me to hear that other people are forcing sweets/cakes etc on to him - there really is no justification for that. Please don't make generalisations though about people with Type 2 Diabetes - my much loved great aunt, now 93 was diagnosed with it when she was 86 - she eats healthily and was not overweight, doesn't drink or smoke. On the other side of the family, my late grandfather was diagnosed in his late 70's - and went on to die peacefully in his sleep in his mid 80's. As the population ages, I'm sure we'll see much more of this late onset. I can understand your frustration - I'm a cancer survivor and loathe smoking with every fibre of my being - would ban it tomorrow if I could but I realise that it is a free country and broadly, adults must be allowed the freedom to sometimes make choices that are not healthy. Otherwise we would be going down a very slippery slope.

Type 2 is not self inflicted! It's genetic as I know. I was a size 10 and always eaten healthily and have been marked a dealt card in the gene pool. I was diagnosed after developing gestional diabetes when pregnant.

I'm sorry about your son but inflicting your negative attitude is not going to help him.

coral has an unhealthy attitude towards food. saying no junk food is ridiculous.
there is nothing wrong with fish fingers, pizza, baked beans, chicken nuggets, or anything else.
so long as its part of a balanced diet.
i eat chocolate crisps and anything else. alongside all veg, salad and fruit.
its called a 'question of balance'.
something coral seems to lack.

Being skinny is also unattractive and unhealthy.
No I am not responsible for the amount of food that people chose to eat. They are responsible for what they put in their mouths. What an odd comment to make.

Sorry op YABVVVU rude and inpolite. YOu seriously need to get some counselling as I think that you are finding this very hard to deal with. Of course your son will pick up on negative vibes, children are not idiots, they know more than you think! My friend who is 39 has type 1 diabetes and has done for 32 years and has a very active and fullfilling life. Yes type 2 is diabtes, does not matter that you think its not, medically it is! I suggest that you get help and support NOW!!!!!!

Kittywise, I bet your the kind of person that tells an anorexic its simple, they just need to eat more, and tells depressives its simple, they just need to smile.

You're over simplifying everything. There are generally a lot of psychological factors going on if someone is over eating.

Oh, so you watched a PROGRAMME kittywise, then it must be true! You probably think the Daily Mail is a proper newspapre too. I appreciate that we all have our opinions but the levels of ignorance on here are a bit hard to take sometimes.

But people overeat for a myriad of reasons. It's got very little to do with willpower, which is what people who trot out the old, "calories in, calories out" line seem to be unable to grasp. It's quite a stupid position to take that people with a weight problem are undisciplined or out of control. It feeds into the concept that they are lazy and disgusting, and that just leads to unnecessary prejudice.

Sorry that your ds has been diagnosed with diabetes, OP. You sound shocked and pissed off, which is understandable. But as others have said, you'll get nowhere by projecting that anger onto others with type II diabetes.

No it's not simple. Many issues with food are to do with psychological issues. Many about self discipline. I love all sleuths here.

I have never read the daily mail. Actually perhaps i should have said that when i am walking out and about the fat people I see, often whole families of them, are eating pasties and thel like, it's never been apples, odd that.

I agree, having studied psychology to postgrad level I am aware of the psychosocial factors behind overreating, I have experience of it myself having had PND too. I am on the straight and narrow, feeling more postive and loosing weight which is good.

its very stressful, my friend had the same and having to inject a 4 year old twice daily is not funny

and of course you cant compare type 2 to type 1. people are saying YABU but I doubt they have had to deal with injecting a traumtised child

it really is not right to compatre the 2 IMO

and sorry but type 2 IS very often self inflicted. my Dad has it, bless him, and its down to his boozing partially

Type 2 isn't always caused by lifestyle factors, in alot of cases it caused by other health conditions which have an impact on the pancreas. Also taking medication for other conditions can cause it to develop.

i don't think there is any need to get so angry with other people. i wonder whether you are just finding it difficult to cope witht he fact your son has developed type 1 and your angry is just being projected because of the way you feel? I do understand how you feel btw, because I have type 2. ...Only joking, my FIL had type 1 and our children are at risk. I also have a severely disabled child and felt angry with everyone and anyone after her initial diagnosis. I think it is quite normal

Yes I can understand that the op is angry, and is internally resenting that is why she needs to go for counselling and join support groups.

No I don't have food issues, sleuth away.

I'm sorry you are so angry OP and its understandable but no-one deserves diabetes even if there were some way to prove that its "self-inflicted". They thought they were being empathic and showing how they understand the problmes that come with being diabetic.

Obesity is a big problem and growing if we can;t catch todays children and try to revolutionise they diet and exercise. Adults are a way way trickier problem (despite Kittywise's "simple" solution ), habits are ingrained, insulin resisteance (common in obesity) causes a sweet tooth which exacerbates the problem, once you've put on weight your mobility is restricted also adding to the problem. Very few people (except the Channel 5 documentaries Kitty subscribes to) don't uinderstand why they are overweight) but it is incredibly hard for someone morbidly obese to lose weight using diet and exercise alone.

Kitty, when you've existed on substantially fewer calories than your body needs daily for a prolonged period (ie 1-2 years) then you'll understand how tough it is. After losing 4 stone plus come back and tell me how easy you found it.

PS - Mother father and brother all have type two diabetes, two fat, one not. Chances of me getting it thin or fat? Extremely high. Of course the better I can control my weight the less likely, the older I might develop it and the milder hopefully it will be. But it will still be diabetes.

OP it is understandable that you are angry about your son's condition.

However you seem to have a lot to learn about diabetes - can I suggest you contact Diabetes UK for information and support?

SO people are nice to your child... then you tell them he has diabetes so they try and engage and empathise with you. And you react like a nasty cow (in your head). Lovely. absafuckinglutly charming.

the ignorance is dangerous some people never abuse their bodies and some get ill and others do ot and soem people abuse their bodies and get ill and some don't get ill.

Op it is sad that your dc has this illness - but please don't judge others that also have an illness - abiet differnet but a similar illness