To be angry that 30 year old fatties are moaning!?!

[sugarray]

My little boy has recently been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I was totally heartbroken when we found out! Since then when people have offered him sweets/at partys/in shops, when I have to tell people he can't have things and why, This is usually followed by chubbie thirty to fifty year olds moaning to me that they or a relative have type 2 diabetes and how hard it is for them!

Type 2 is self inflicted.... btw..
I am soo angry that this has happened to my son.... He is only 4 (through no fault of his own Or anyone else) I just want to shout at them to shut up,stop eating so much shit and move around a bit more!!

This may not make sense, but AIBU?

My FIL developed type II after having cancer, so naturally it's his fault and self inflicted for having that the selfish man

My late MIL developed type 2 diabetes after years of being very overweight and eating a high fat, high sugsr diet and having hardly any exercise.

Despite pressure from nurses to follow a healthier diet, she made no changes at all, went on to suffer from high blood pressure, the beginnings of problems with her eyes.

She died of bowel cancer last July .It wasn't diagnosed very quickly because of all the focus on her myriad other health issues.

I do believe, and this was backed up by doctors, that if she'd led a healthier lifestyle, she'd still be with us now.

I can't add much more to the excellent advice that's been given.
You are angry and lashing out, that should pass. It's part of the grieving and learning curve, and it is natural to be irritated at the 'Oh yes, me too' when you feel that they haven't got a clue what you are going through.
But playing what I've always called SN Top Trumps harms you and others and has no positive side to it.
You need to learn everything you can about his condition, teach him how to manage it and get help and advice from others in your position.
Specialist forums are a godsend for helping find answers to problems, I'm sure someone will give you a link.
I have helped children in class to manage their diabetes, following the advice and monitoring of their parents as to when and what and how. The parents were the best support and advocate those children had and enabled them to not be defined as 'diabetics' but children diabetes.
My father has diabetes, not a lifestyle choice and well-managed.

YANBU to be irritated at people offering sweets when you've asked them not to, and

My Dad developed Type 2 at 65. He was a bag of bones his entire life and a very small eater - although he did have a sweet tooth: 2 sugars in his tea for example. He died of it aged 77, because he was on the autistic spectrum and couldn't stick to the diet regime or take his medication properly, despite massive efforts on the part of family, his GP and social services to help him.

Not sure why I am telling you that, OP, I suppose just to say that not everyone with Type 2 is a "fatty."

Having said that, my Dad would have been one of the people you describe in your OP, an "Oh yes I know how he feels" when his own condition was a lot less serious that your DS's.

I have similar experiences with my DS, who has life threatening allergies to milk, egg and nuts. The number of people who say "oh your boy is lactose intolerant like me, isn't he?" then look like this when I say "No, he is SEVERELY ALLERGIC to milk." Or kids who say they are allergic to milk too - their Mum said so because they once had three chocolate milkshakes and were sick. Or the woman I know who got me so worried about her with her tales of collapsing in a pool of blood because of her severe wheat allergy - a worry that lasted right up to when I sat next to her in a restaurant and watched her troughing back a roll and butter, crackers etc etc.

So my verdict is YABU but I do understand. Tis maddening, but tis the way of the world.

That bit doesn't make sense. It should read
'but children with diabetes.'

Th op is talking abut fat people though, fat people with diabetes.
OP YANBU, fat people should eat less food , it's very simple.

YABU.

Just say he can't have any, I do and ds isnt diabetic.

People are only trying to make conversation, stop being so mean.

My dad has kidney failure and we regularly get people saying ' so is your dad still needing dialysis?' we just say 'yes' when we could say 'well yes obviously or he'd be dead'. They are just being nice, and interested.

When I had hyperemesis with ds people moaned to me about their morning sickness I didnt think 'oh well, you dont know what youre talking about, its alright for you etc etc'.

Life isnt a competition about who is most ill or who deserves to be ill.

kittywise Fat people (in general) should eat less food yes, it is not that simple though.

You could easily say alcoholics should give up alcohol, drug addicts should give up drugs, people with depression should cheer the hell up and so on but life isnt that simple I'm afraid.

Oh and thin does not always equal healthy either just as a side point.

"Th op is talking abut fat people though, fat people with diabetes"

no, Kitty, she isn't. She categorically states that Type 2 diabetes is self inflicted and not really diabetes.

YANBU for being angry that your son has diabetes.

YANBU for being angry that people are ignoring you and trying to give your son sweets - I would be livid.

YABU for lashing out at people with Type II - they are just trying to empathise. It's what humans do, we try to find a connection, some common ground.

Gosh, yes, kittywise, it's very simple. I wonder why it is that fat people just don't do that, then? Probably it's because they're sooooo stupid that they don't realise something so simple. Stupid fat people, am I right?

I know you are angry and upset that you son has diabetes, but type 2 is just as much diabetes. Both my parents are type2, in spite of being normal weight and fit when they developed it, and both have to inject insulin. My chance of getting it is very high now.

Give people a break

'fat people should eat less food , it's very simple'

I assume you know the personal curcumstances of every overweight person in the world kittywise?

My mother had a fatal Heart condition and she could walk more than a few paces before becoming unwell, becuase of this she was overweight. It is rude, ignorant, fuckers like you making stupid comments like that, that led her to push herself to far, which resulted in her lossing her life at the age of 49.

You dont know everyones reasons for being overweight so keep stum.

OP YABU.

sugarray, I don't know why so many posters are taking you to task.

The sad truth is that MOST type 2 diabetes is due to lifestyle factors.

I understand why you feel the way you do. It's the classic "Why me?" but unfortunately it should be "Why not me".

These days, type 1 diabetes can be pretty well controlled and once you get over the initial shock it will become a part of your every day routine.

You are definitely NBU when you encounter seriously overweight people trying to give your DS sweets and cakes etc.

The same applies to any DC, the way to stay healthy is not to give any of them junk food.

Yes I too wonder why fat people don't eat less food. It's interesting the number of fat people walking around eating, more so than normal weight people.
But of course it's not pc to say that fat people are fat because they eat too much food.
Calories in ,calories out

i expect that both Coralanne and Kittywise, you have some cites to back those views up?

Kittywise, do you understand that I was being sarcastic earlier, and telling you that to claim "it's simple" you must logically think that fat people are stupid?

As for PC, it's certainly bloody socially acceptable to say that. Given how many people do say it, over and fucking over again.

Kittywise. It is not that simple. As usual you are black and white.

I am a fattie (no diabetes). I go for steep mountain hikes twice a week, and aerobic exercise classes. I am fit. And fat (size 16). And I eat farking little!
Breakfast: 1 small bowl of muesli (30 grams) with youghurt. Glass of water. Cup of coffee.
snack: apple or banana
Lunch: 2 slices of rye bread with mackerell in tomato
Dinner: chicken and salad with 2 spoonfulls of rice
Evening meal: 1 ryebread with cheese, a couple of walnuts, almonds and some dried apricot or a handfull of blueberries

I could not eat less

OP: Sorry your son is ill. It is so unfair and frustrating. My son had an asthma diagnosis at 1, so I feel your pain. However, he seem to have outgrown it so this is a relief for us.

Don't be so bloody ridiculous.
We have a huge obesity epidemic on our hand, huge.One of the reasons it's huge is there are people defending obesity and its causes. They are in denial. It's not their fault, it's their genes. it's whatever, but not their fault . I more people actually took responsibility for the fact they are obese because of over eating rather than some spurious medical condition then there would be ewer fat people.There are some people, a tiny minority who have genuine medical reasons for being very over weight. the vast majority of people eat too much food. it's that simple.

I remember a couple of progs on fat people who claimed they had no idea they were fat didn't each much etc etc. There were cameras secretly filming them. These people were always eating, popping into shops for a sandwich roll, fizzy drink, chocolate whatever.
A women insisted on being tested, she said she had no idea why she was fat, she must have the fat gene, it wasn't her fault blah blah. So they tested her, genes, metabolism. There was nothing wrong with her, completely normal.
It goes on.

kittywise, how can you be so completely ignorant? Of COURSE lots of people are fat because they eat too much. But there are loads of people who are fat because they have a MEDICAL PROBLEM - unexplained weight gain is often a symptom which indicates there is a problem in the first place. I don't notice fat people "walking around eating" anymore than "normal" people, you obviously have some problem with overweight people!

You keep saying it's simple, but I'm not seeing any evidence for your views.

Are you aware that there is a huge, and contentious, body of research on this, kittywise? I'm not asking if you've got any experience, training or education in dietetics or nutrition, because it's obvious that you don't. I'm asking if you are even aware of the existence of the research?

Oh, I see. You've watched some programmes on the subject. Well, I take it back then. That's clearly a, objective, scientific, peer-reviewed source of information.

Yes, some fat people are incredibly stupid. And so are some thin people.

QS, I'm sorry you felt you had to post that in your defense. I imagine you have had versions of this conversation over and over again in a futile attempt to convince people that you're healthy. It's funny that, because you're fat, people think your weight is a subject in the public domain? I'd never dream of telling someone what I ate, and no-one would ever ask me - but then I'm thin, so I've never had to defend myself this way. Why people think they have the right is beyond me.

For the record, I eat loads more than you do, and I don't exercise.

we have a huge obesity crisis.
we have people who from childhood have never eaten a decent diet and wouldn't know where to start
we have people who eat well and have illness or issues that affect their weight nonetheless
we have people who eat out of sadness or lonliness
we have a hundred different things going on.

I am slim. The one time I was fat was when I was trapped at home with a disabled child virtually unable to leave the house. And understandably depressed.

It is the easiest thing in the world to be smug and sweeping and blame people. But that makes you highly simplistic and actually not very nice