to think you cannot possibly support a family on 29K?

[AliceBlackwell]

Please please please tell me I AM being unreasonable! My DH has been offered a wonderful job which he would love to take, but the pay is only 29K. Taking the job would mean leaving London, and while I do appreciate that salaries do drop outside London, I really fear that this is just not enough money to support a family.

Back story: we do not have children yet, plan on TTC in a few months. I am self-employed; when we have a baby I will have to stop work (at least for a few months) and will have no income. We have no savings, having recently finished paying off debt (credit cards, old student loans etc.) and do not own a house. This will mean moving to a new city, renting, trying to save for a mortgage, hopefully starting a family - all on 29K!

I have namechanged to prepare for inevitable flaming. I don't mind being told I am being unreasonable/ridiculous - I hope I am! It just seems such a huge drop from what we are earning now, and believe me, it doesn't feel like we are living the high life.
Please tell me money goes much further outside London, and that it would be possible to have a comfortable life on this money. I didn't grow up in the UK, and have only been living here a couple of years, so don't really have any point of reference apart from London. I know that we haemorrhage money just opening the front door here.

Looking forward to being told IABU.

YABU. Depending on where you live, it is a decent salary. DH was earning less than that when we bought our first house (in the midlands) and had DS1.

Depends what you both want and need.

Don't be ridiculous. It may be a big drop for you personally - but most families manage on less.

Yes you are being bloody well silly! - you did ask!

I think you need to have a hard to look at your life style and what you are spending money on.

DH, DS and I live in two bedroom, two bathroom, Zone three flat in London on 2k a month and don't worry about the day the day living (Mrs Pear touches wood as she types)

YANBU to worry about it, it can't be easy to take a big drop in salary but YABU if you think it's impossible. It depends a lot on where you're moving in terms of cost of renting. We could manage on £29k (have slightly more than that at the mo). You won't have loads of spare cash but it's definitely doable. Plus, you should prob be able to get maternity allowance as a self employed person which would help

YABU

If you have no debt and no mortgage to pay, and are moving out of London, then you'll be fine.

When you are on maternity leave will you qualify for Maternity Allowance?

YABU.

You also sound rather silly and spoilt - 'Please tell me money goes much further outside London'.

Use Google and get stats on cost of living in the area where you are moving like any other intelligent and rational human being.

Of course YABU

Wot? No mollycoddling from a bunch of strangers? You nest of vipers!

Do you work? Or is this just dh salary?

Anyways we live in Scotland, dh earns 25k. We arent rolling in it but we manage.

We have ds (3) and one on the way. We live in a new build house (bleurgh) which is 4 bed detached and can afford wee treats etc. we did have a big deposit though,we couldnt afford a massive mortgage, no way. We dont have debts like cars or credit cards etc because we cant afford them (we do have cars but bought them years ago when we had more money).

Money goes much, much further outside London. London is a whole other country. Accommodation is cheaper whether you're renting or buying and that's always the bulk of your exependiture. Going out, transport, everything is more expensive inside the M25 corridor. Whatever it is you do, make it work in the new location. Your husband, if he works hard, could get salary increases and promotions. Put TTC on hold until you're a little more settled and have some fall-back savings perhaps rather than going straight from paying off debt to having children.

"Please tell me money goes much further outside London,"

It does.

YABU.

I wonder how people can manage to afford to live in London. You will survive perfectly well North of Watford on 29K.

YABU I wish my DH earned that. I am currently on mat leave and most likely being made redundant soon and we have 2 children. Granted we live in the North of England but depending on where your DH's job offer is, its a fantastic wage.

Ummm we manage on slightly less than that, two kids, mortgage and living in an expensive part of the country.

YABU. We are a family of 5 with a mortgage and survive on less.

Hold on, for any family going through a pay cut it is naturally going to raise some concerns. If my salary were slashed whilst planning a family i'd obviously worry and think of how i'd live the life i'm accustomed to on whatever %age less it works out as.

However bear in mind your transport costs are likely to come down, your costs of going out and you'll prob find quality of life increases a touch if you leave london (i live here, it can be pretty mad and tiring).

Hows about you both sit down, do your sums and figure out how much you need as disposable income to be happy. If it provides that, then go ahead and enjoy!!

in London it would be tricky though

DH earns £28.5k (I don't work) and DH, I and 2DCs (and 4 cats) have to live in a paper bag because of it.

We're up north though, so paper bags go further.

How much are you earning at the moment? People do generally spend what they are earning so I can see if it is a big drop then it will seem difficult. But as an absolute amount it is perfectly doable.