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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you cannot possibly support a family on 29K?

444 replies

AliceBlackwell · 30/07/2010 13:35

Please please please tell me I AM being unreasonable! My DH has been offered a wonderful job which he would love to take, but the pay is only 29K. Taking the job would mean leaving London, and while I do appreciate that salaries do drop outside London, I really fear that this is just not enough money to support a family.

Back story: we do not have children yet, plan on TTC in a few months. I am self-employed; when we have a baby I will have to stop work (at least for a few months) and will have no income. We have no savings, having recently finished paying off debt (credit cards, old student loans etc.) and do not own a house. This will mean moving to a new city, renting, trying to save for a mortgage, hopefully starting a family - all on 29K!

I have namechanged to prepare for inevitable flaming. I don't mind being told I am being unreasonable/ridiculous - I hope I am! It just seems such a huge drop from what we are earning now, and believe me, it doesn't feel like we are living the high life.
Please tell me money goes much further outside London, and that it would be possible to have a comfortable life on this money. I didn't grow up in the UK, and have only been living here a couple of years, so don't really have any point of reference apart from London. I know that we haemorrhage money just opening the front door here.

Looking forward to being told IABU.

OP posts:
EmmaKateWH · 30/07/2010 14:41

YANBU. Our mortgage is 3.5k a month!

RumourOfAHurricane · 30/07/2010 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

NonnoMum · 30/07/2010 14:44

YANBthatU.

What is DH earning now? If you are dropping from say a £100k to £29k then it will be a huge lifestyle change. And if you have been using a large proportion of your income to pay off debts, then you probably haven't had that much disposable income, and will now have even less.

And lots of different areas of the country are still very expensive to buy a property. Where are you thinking of moving to?

Don't know if you have had a bit of a "Starbucks" lifestyle (no criticism but it would be easy in London to always but coffees/lunch/drinks after work etc) but if you radically change your outgoings then you may find you will be able to start saving outside London.

It seriously all hinges on the mortgage/rent.

If you are fortunate to have a baby soon, you will be surprised that things may be easier as you might not go out so much and all the gear is pretty cheap if you get it second hand. The most expensive thing about having a baby is if you need childcare to facilitate your working patterns.

Good luck.

LynetteScavo · 30/07/2010 14:44

There is a big difference between supporting a family, and living in a house with a mortgage of 3.5K per month.

Laquitar · 30/07/2010 14:45

What a couple need a 3 bed house for?

Morloth · 30/07/2010 14:45

There is an outside of London?!

GetOrfMoiLand · 30/07/2010 14:45

I wouldn't be able to sleep at night with that size mortgage.

JuicyLips · 30/07/2010 14:46

Yabu, we manage on much less than that with a mortgage and two kids, dh works ft and I pt.

MorrisZapp · 30/07/2010 14:46

WTF does being middle class have to do with it.

And I haven't seen anybody whinging.

Wanttofly · 30/07/2010 14:47

YABU

ChoChoSan · 30/07/2010 14:47

Loads of people do it...do you not get out much?

MoonUnitAlpha · 30/07/2010 14:47

I live in Bristol and none of my friends have family incomes over £29k, you'll be fine. You can rent a nice 3 bed house for £700 a month.

Childcare is relatively expensive, though cheaper than London. Food/drink/cinema tickets aren't massively cheaper though, and as Riven says public transport is pricy.

GetOrfMoiLand · 30/07/2010 14:48

Don't think the OP is whingeing.

I think it would be a concern to anyone if they had to cope with a drop in income when they are considering having a baby, whether its from 50K to 29K, or 15K to 10K.

EmmaKateWH · 30/07/2010 14:50

gertoffmoiland - you would if you earned enough to pay for it, which we do. However, it definitely rules out either me or DH taking a job which pays 29K a year.

GetOrfMoiLand · 30/07/2010 14:51

Calm down dear, there are no prizes to be won

flootshoot · 30/07/2010 15:03

It very much depends on where you're moving to, and whether you'll have childcare costs when/if you return to work.

We live in Brighton and TBH we struggle on a combined income of around 35K. We don't have a massive mortgage but we do have nursery fees and DH's travel. I would imagine it wouldn't be so much of an issue if we lived somewhere a bit cheaper and DH didn't commute though. The problem for us is that DH's job is in London and anywhere in the commuter belt is going to be pricey.

Litchick · 30/07/2010 15:03

Yes, you will be able to manage, but whether you will be happy wiht the downsize is another matter.
What will you both be getting out of it in terms of non finacial things?

JemAndEllie · 30/07/2010 15:04

it does have something to do with class. you dont see many working class families earning 29k in their factory job for example. and then saying this might not be eonough to raise thier family. OP needs a 1 bed flat as they have no children yet, where im from you can get this for £350 a month, council tax around 100 a month etc etc. if things are too expensive i was always taught to cut back, no luxuries, bare essentails and all that. its not nice, its not fun and its not easy nut its necessary

fledtoscotland · 30/07/2010 15:08

We live near Glasgow and although property is cheaper, the general cost of living is pretty much the same as london. Bread/milk/petrol costs roughly the same wherever you are. I do think YABU to expect that living outside the M25 is going to be dramatically cheaper.

having said that, DH has gone back to uni and I am supporting both of us and two children, running two cars & paying a mortgage on less than £20k . Its possible if you are careful.

MorrisZapp · 30/07/2010 15:08

Jem why not just say 'I wish I earned 29k' instead of making it a class issue?

I'm sure most of us wish we earned more, I certainly do.

FWIW I know heaps of working class people who out-earn me.

Going to uni and getting an arts degree does not a future millionaire make.

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 30/07/2010 15:10

EmmaKateWH - No it doesn't. It means if one of you wanted to take a job for 29k you would have to sell your house.

MorningTownRide · 30/07/2010 15:11

oh hahahahahah

I earn 29k and live in London. Don't have a car, rent etc. We have a good standard of life, we can save some money, go on holiday. I don't understand how people can't live on it....

You poor mopsy! You'll live. Do a budget.

JemAndEllie · 30/07/2010 15:12

i wish i earned 29k

it just annoys me sometimes when there are people around struggling on very little money, just doesnt seem very down to earth.

scurryfunge · 30/07/2010 15:14

I think it is to do with unrealistic expectations or just lack of research.....I don't think it is a snob issue at all. Out mortgage is the least of out outgoings.

MorrisZapp · 30/07/2010 15:16

OP doesn't want to struggle, hasn't had to in the past so has rightly asked if the new income would mean a struggle.

It's all relative. No doubt whatever your lifestyle is, there is somebody wishing they had your luxuries.

I'd like to earn 29k too.