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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you cannot possibly support a family on 29K?

444 replies

AliceBlackwell · 30/07/2010 13:35

Please please please tell me I AM being unreasonable! My DH has been offered a wonderful job which he would love to take, but the pay is only 29K. Taking the job would mean leaving London, and while I do appreciate that salaries do drop outside London, I really fear that this is just not enough money to support a family.

Back story: we do not have children yet, plan on TTC in a few months. I am self-employed; when we have a baby I will have to stop work (at least for a few months) and will have no income. We have no savings, having recently finished paying off debt (credit cards, old student loans etc.) and do not own a house. This will mean moving to a new city, renting, trying to save for a mortgage, hopefully starting a family - all on 29K!

I have namechanged to prepare for inevitable flaming. I don't mind being told I am being unreasonable/ridiculous - I hope I am! It just seems such a huge drop from what we are earning now, and believe me, it doesn't feel like we are living the high life.
Please tell me money goes much further outside London, and that it would be possible to have a comfortable life on this money. I didn't grow up in the UK, and have only been living here a couple of years, so don't really have any point of reference apart from London. I know that we haemorrhage money just opening the front door here.

Looking forward to being told IABU.

OP posts:
MALIMOO78 · 30/07/2010 15:16

£29k? Easy peasy

I have two children, two dogs, a mortgage,car etc on 25K.

However, I don't have a maid, the butler has to multi task.

I am really careful with money but it is not a struggle

capricorn76 · 30/07/2010 15:31

JemAndEllie.

My DH and I were born as working class as they come. Him from a farm in a tiny town in Australia and me from a crappy part of London. We both went to state schools and I still accidently say 'innit' sometimes. Although I can effortlessly speak in a Middle-Class accent when I want/need to (I learned to mimic the posher kids at Uni), you should hear me when I'm pissed with my mates who mainly still live in North East London like me, we sound like a bunch of Eliza Doolittles!

However, we have a six figure household income. I have friend who says things like 'supper' (always sounds so posh to me) instead of dinner and went to a really good school but she earns so little that she has to work two jobs. Class and money are not totally related. Look at the Beckhams.

Back on topic. Its understandable to be worried about a drop in income and I think some people are being a bit harsh on the OP. Nevertheless it's doable, I have friends who live on less (well I believe they do as I know what types of jobs they do, however, we never discuss money, in London of all places and they still manage to eat and get out and about now and again. Good luck with the move.

rubbersoul · 30/07/2010 15:45

I do wish my hubby earned that much I understand that you're worried about change though. I know a couple of people in Bristol who can't afford to buy, but then neither can we at the moment an and have pretty high rent, but then again we can't afford to buy yet either and we're in the midlands!

DandyDan · 30/07/2010 15:54

We are a family of six; I am unwaged; and we live on approx that much, or less.

GetOrfMoiLand · 30/07/2010 16:14

Jem - I work in factory - started on the shop floor doing up screws and worked my way up, and studied PT to become an engineer.

DP is a bricklayer by trade who has also worked his way up and is a contractor.

What you earn has nowt to do with class.

Not being smug 'ooh look at us we work hard and earn our money' - not at all (a lot has to do with luck, being in the right place at the right time etc), but I don't think you can assume that people who earn 29K are middle class.

SlackSally · 30/07/2010 16:30

Wow, that 'where do you fit in' thing is surprising.

I never realised quite how rich we were.

DP and I each earn a little under £25k, which puts us, apparently, in the top 10-15% of all households.

I notice, though, that they don't appear to take tax into account. Tax on one person earning £45k is very different to tax on two people earning it between them...

Lougle · 30/07/2010 16:44

And when people are saying "I have x kids and live on £x000", are they talking about their wage or their income?

I could say "We earn £14400" which is true, but that isn't our income. Our income is the £14400 - tax - NI + Child Tax Credits + Working Tax Credits + Child Benefit + Housing Benefit + Carer's Allowance

slug · 30/07/2010 16:46

I supported DH and DD on less than that in London for the better part of 7 years. It's not that difficult.

sapphireblue · 30/07/2010 16:47

whether or not you can live on it obviously depends what your outgoings are.........you need to sit and work out a proper budget and make sure you include everything.

LaundryLyne · 30/07/2010 16:53

YABU

thefinerthingsinlife · 30/07/2010 17:06

YANBU

Dh earns 35K and we have 2 dc and a big ish morgage, dont go on holidays, and we barely have enough money to cover the month.

It all depends where you live imo

redglen · 30/07/2010 17:15

We live on a lot less, not in London but still an expensive part of the country.

If you are going to take a pay cut then you obviously have to re-think your expectations and priorities - what is really important to you. Doing a bit of research about the area you would be moving to, and working out your budget is obvioulsy the first step - as has been mentioned many times here. Think about what you need as opposed to what you want e.g. you may want a car each but you probably only need one car ... you may love to eat out regularly, but do you need to? .. you may enjoy fancy holidays - but you may find you get just as much fun camping etc etc. Even if you don't go for this move it would be a good exercise anyway as you never know when your circumstances could change out of your control.

Where ever you are on the pay scale there's usually people surviving on a lot less and others barely scraping by on a lot more.

HotSprocket · 30/07/2010 17:16

YABU

Me and dp combined earn about £22000. I am on mat leave so its even less at the moment.

Its easy, no we don't go on holidays or have a car but we are happy and our dd is well looked after and provided for. The thing is, babies are actually quite cheap when they are small, so long as you dont believe that you need to buy the most expensive pushchair ect.

Remember when you have a baby you get child benefit and tax credits. Basically we spend our wages on rent/food/bills and the benefits go into our savings.

colditz · 30/07/2010 17:20

LONDON FAMILY HOUSE

NOTTINGHAM FAMILY HOUSE

LEICESTER FAMILY HOUSE

NUNEATON FAMILY HOUSE

Look at the prices. London is a bubble. It's not real. It's not where the rest of the country live.

fluffles · 30/07/2010 17:38

The biggest saving for me moving from london to edinburgh that i hadn't thought of was transport - i went from an £83 per month travel card to zilch

That's pretty much a thousand pound a year.. and i have a lovely walk rather than the stinky tube.

Rent IS cheaper in Edinburgh than London, though it's still more expensive than a lot of other places.

Going out is MUCH cheaper outside London, bar prices particularly are about 50% less.

tyler80 · 30/07/2010 17:46

Lol at the Nottingham family house. My stolen car was found on someone's driveway round there. Needs must and all that, but if I had the choice between staying in London where I was presumably happy and moving to Strelley i'd stay in London

To the OP, it's a good point about income and earnings being two different things. I know others will have different ideas, but personally I don't like to count things such as tax credits and child benefit as income when I'm trying to work out affordability.

colditz · 30/07/2010 17:53

Tyler, that area of Nottingham is not representative of the entire (large) city of Nottingham, as you surely must realise...

TeenyTinyToria · 30/07/2010 17:58

YABU - that's tons of money. My dh earns 29k and we support a family of four very comfortably on it.

lornski · 30/07/2010 18:05

£29K? ffs - i brought up 2 kids on my own AND saved for a house AND we managed to take foreign holidays and ran a car on less than that!

you need to learn to budget - and if you'd learned that some time back then you wouldn't have just paid off your debts because you'd learn to live within your means

thefirstmrsDeVere · 30/07/2010 18:10

Well there are 6 of us at home and our income is lower than that (by quite a lot). We live in London.

But I know I am on a low income IYSWIM. We dont go on holiday but we dont starve.

As others have said - depends on mortages etc.

You can definately live on 29 k

tyler80 · 30/07/2010 18:15

Sorry colditz, didn't get your joke, I thought you were posting representative examples of house types across the country rather than pictures of houses on estates where the police carry guns, my mistake!

To all those who say, they've brought up kids/rented and saved for a house deposit on that sort of income, have you done it in the last 5 years?

mumeeee · 30/07/2010 18:20

YABU.Cost of living is cheaper outside London. We don't earn much more than that between us and manage fine.

hairytriangle · 30/07/2010 18:53

YAB extremely U!!! FFS.

JGBMum · 30/07/2010 18:59

DO you need to live in Bristol, or within commuting distance of Bristol?

Huge difference in house prices (and quality of life) if you don't mind a bit of a commute.

IMoveTheStars · 30/07/2010 19:07

OP. The biggest thing here is that you have paid off your debts. As long as you don't get in any debt at all, you WILL be fine. Move, save for Mat Leave (rather than relying on overdrafts etc)

Saving for a deposit on a house will be difficult, but as you're moving to a new area and can budget to be living on £29k, then it will be fine!! Once you go back to work you'll then be able to start saving for a house.

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