The worlds most boring hen do ever....AIBU to pull out?

[mistletoekisses]

The highlights of the aforementioned hen do involve cupcake baking...and wait for it..a country walk with a treasure hunt. There are far more 'treats' along these lines involved, but dont want to post too much incase another attendee is a fellow mnetter.

My background? I have DC's, I bake cupcakes every bloody week. We are grown adults FGS, why would I want to spend a morning on a walk doing a treasure hunt? It is without a doubt the most boring weekend I have been invited away on?

I think that if I am going to be away for a weekend from my family, then it should be for something I enjoy. Whilst I accept that the bride comes first on the big day...I dont think the same courtesy extends to the hen party. The hen is not a close friend and based on that; I am 99% sure that I am going to back out. AIBU?

(Oh and no monies have been committed by anyone yet)

Answer sorry.

So why start off saying you were 99% sure you were going to back out. That to me says you weren't going to go. Until your last post it sounded like you were never going to go. I was merely just pointing that out and questioning why you started the thread. I couldn't think of any other reason than to get reassurance you were doing the right thing. Sorry I had to read through the lines, not something Im too good at. Generally if people say something I tend to believe them (when written down with no facial expressions or tone of voice anyway) and you said you probably wouldnt go.

Now you've changed your mind, but like I said if you dont want to then dont. It's not up to anyone else what you do.

Why have a go at me for pointing out that it looked like (to me anyway, maybe Im in the minority here) you never were going to go as you didnt want to? There have been other responses that have been far nastier to you.

Go or not that is your choice, I merely said what I would do, pointed something out that Im not sure if anyone had pointed out (ie could it be a cover for the bride?) and that you obviously didnt want to go so dont.

second to last post now, by the time I wrote the above

fart - apols if you thought I was having a go. Others have said their views - nasty or not, I don't take it to heart and I didnt come on here to say whether people are wrong if they dont share my opinion.

The reason I took issue with you is you were actually very wrong in saying what you did. I did not start this thread, knowing I was not attending the hen do. That is a matter of fact. All the other stuff is opinion.

Miscommunication is always rife on internet forums. As you say, so hard to read actual intent when you arent having a RL conversation.

I do realise that it's not an activity that you'd enjoy LeQueen,and that for you it's on a par with oven cleaning and other similar domestic tasks,but is there really any need to write off anyone who would enjoy it as a 'wholesome dullard'?
And is the patronising and superior tone really necessary?

Sorry for having a go back, but it did look like you were having a go as you thought I was being picky (which I admit I no doubt probably was ). I agree it is hard to read tones in the written word.

I didnt realise that you actually were totally undecided what you were doing as there was no hint that you would be going at all.

As for the OP I can understand why you wouldn't enjoy it, and if they aren't a close friend then I don't think that it'd be such a bad thing if you did pull out.

If it was a close friend's hen party then I'd say you have to suck it up and go, but it's not and if you're going to detest every minute of it then it'll show and that can result in a very difficult atmosphere which can ruin the party for the bride to be.

Ha ha ha @ 'fun dynamic people'. Is that another way of saying shallow? Or the look at me crowd? Look at me, look at me, me, me, me, look at me'.

I'm with bundle.

Have you considered that perhaps others might consider you to be something of a dullard? You seem very confident that you're in the 'fun and dynamic' group yet isn't that subjective?

I still see no need to label others as 'wholesome dullards' simply because they have interests that don't appeal to you. It's terribly arrogant of you but not surprising.

Oh dear OP you would have died of boredom at my hen do then, we all went bowling & stuffed our faces. I'm just not a cluccing/pubbing kind of person so that type of hen do wouldn't have suited me, perhaps the bride is the same?

If this is what the bride has chosen then you should respect that & go along & enjoy seeing your friend having her idea of a good time.

*clubbing

That's great, mistletoekisses! I hope you are rewarded for your open-mindedness and have a great time

"I am going to go with a totally open mind and try and throw myself into the activities and have fun. As many others have advised, I may end up having a fantastic time! Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

I love treasure hunts! Is it to be organised by some professional party people?

I went to a company do once where the entertainment involved a treasure hunt where people were split in to teams who then had to solve clues spread out over a lovely piece of countryside. I admit it clearly wasn't everyone's cup of tea and there were some people who just thought "F* it" and sat under the trees to get drunk. Personally I love that sort of thing (did I say that already?) and thoroughly enjoyed it. We didn't win, but the team who did found some seriously nice prizes inside the treasure chest.

Sounds more fun than getting p**d in a club - IMHO

[Must 'fess up here that I "treasure hunt" practically every weekend, just come back from one actually.]

YANBU

Not read the whole thread but when you have children, time to yourself is too precious to do something you don't want to! (unless you're the bridesmaid?)

I've never regretted not going to a hen do

LeQueen I would consider you to be at the right end of those Pimms.

Every time I see this thread in Active Convos I feel sad for the bride. Imagine having your hen do described on the www as "The Worlds Most Borning Hen Do Ever". Poor woman!

And now complete strangers are pitying her. It gets worse!

I'm going to get some t shirts printed with 'wholesome dullard' on it

I didn't have a hen do. I don't drink and can't stand drunk women making fools of themselves. Frankly I didn't want to have to apologise for them vomming and trying to chat up weirdo blokes in the pub.

Also, and yes very unpopular to say I know but I prefer blokes to women on a night out because I'd prefer to have a conversation about something interesting than hearing bitching, whining and will he/won't he speculation as they hunt men. Who aren't that interesting either but my cat won't come to the pub.

Cupcakes, a nice walk etc. Yes I'd do that. Not for a whole weekend probably for a day though. I don't understand why weddings have to involve more commitment from the guests than the couple these days . You will attend a whole weekend of drinking with the stag/hen, you will attend a prewedding supper, then a service, then a party.

FGS we are grown ups here, we're very happy for you, just go get on with it and we'll send you a gift to wish you well.

So YABU not for not wanting to go, but for posting it on MN instead of just politely declining seems quite rude TBH.

Read the whole thread, but completely agree with whomoved.

Can't for the life of me understand why some people feel that you have to get drunk and act like a fool to celebrate something.

We live in the countryside, too.

I can't stand getting 'glammed up' and going to some twatty restaurant.

I'd rather go clay pigeon shooting or play golf.

I have always hated clubs, even when I was 18.

I agree with expat and whomoved.

It sounds like a lovely weekend, and I would rather do that than spend the weekend blind drunk.

If a friend of mine was getting married and having a "traditional" hen night of getting very drunk in a cheesy club I would probably still go, even though it isn't my cup of tea. So I don't see why it shouldn't work teh other way around!

im with op
although hate all hen dos