The worlds most boring hen do ever....AIBU to pull out?

[mistletoekisses]

The highlights of the aforementioned hen do involve cupcake baking...and wait for it..a country walk with a treasure hunt. There are far more 'treats' along these lines involved, but dont want to post too much incase another attendee is a fellow mnetter.

My background? I have DC's, I bake cupcakes every bloody week. We are grown adults FGS, why would I want to spend a morning on a walk doing a treasure hunt? It is without a doubt the most boring weekend I have been invited away on?

I think that if I am going to be away for a weekend from my family, then it should be for something I enjoy. Whilst I accept that the bride comes first on the big day...I dont think the same courtesy extends to the hen party. The hen is not a close friend and based on that; I am 99% sure that I am going to back out. AIBU?

(Oh and no monies have been committed by anyone yet)

Oh and to answer ruthosaurus - not preggers, not skint (well as far as I know). So no real idea why so low-key. TBH - these are the activities that she loves...pretty sure that is why.

I had my two best friends round for an evening meal (which I made) and some good wine for my hen "do". I wanted to spend time with them, reminisce etc. I didn't want to get slaughtered and make a fool of myself or for them to do that either. The idea that hen dos should be occasions to get incredibly drunk and be obnoxious, whether in a town centre in the UK or some European city with cheap flights is both fairly recent and fairly crap IMO. dh similarly went for a drink at a pub with good real ale and a curry with his best friends. But then we had been together for five years at that point, and had grown out of the idea that nightclubs/getting bladdered were in any way fun.

I do however think that declining an event that you don't think will be much fun is totally OK. You've grown apart, and that's how it is.

Gawd, I really should have some caffiene before attempting to write posts. Might then only have to write one as opposed to three!

LeQ - you said what I was too polite to put.

Cupcakes? What is the Stepford Wife-to-be? Amish?... If it's not a close friend then give this yawn-fest a miss. YANBU

Oh I think it could be good and different from those oh so dreary and sad dos at clubs where a group of random women shriek, show off and never scratch the surface.

Forget about the cooking and washing up and stuff, let the ones that don't have a life of domestic drudgery do it, they will probably think its fun.

Kick back, relax, get to know the other people, they may surprise you, people often do. Take some reading material for whilst they are slaving away in the kitchen. Have copious amounts of alcohol, ask probing questions and become judge of the cupcake contest.

LeQ - I had my hen night in Nottingham too

In my defense, I did spend most of my uni years in Rockcity though

Oh I don't know, if you used to be close it might be nice to have a weekend with her.
I think it isn't so much about the activities, as the people.

I went to Loughborough McQ

We spent my hen night pretending we were students again - but with a little more cash. We had a meal and ended up at Rockcity ater a few bars. Everyone had a great time.

"I think it's incredibly selfish and short sighted for the bride-to-be to insist that all her friends spend her hen-weekend doing stuff that she really enoys...unless of course all her friends are wholesome dullards?"

Is it equally 'incredibly selfish' of the hen to insist that all her friends spend a fortune going to some overpriced club, wearing pink suggestive tat and getting bladdered? Not everyone enjoys that either.

It's the bride's hen do. It's what she wants. There is no obligation to go. If you don't want to go, don't. If you do, do.

I think its quite refreshing that someone is choosing not to go down the same old tired hen night routine. And, like any other night, it will be what you make it. If you decide to go then don't go with a 'this is going to suck' attitude - cos it will if thats what you choose.

FWIW, I think it sounds a nice plan too! Although I do enjoy clubs as well. Baking with friends is different to with your kids. More gossip, more wine, more rude stories.

I think it sounds lovely and would avoid anything that involved clubbing like the plague. Why shouldn't she do what she enjoys in order to conform to someone else's view of what a hen do should be? But you don't have to go, so don't if you won't enjoy it.

I would much rather go to a country house and bake cakes than go to a club wearing pink deely boppers.

But then I've just signed up to Geocaching.com so my geek status is no secret

Oh I think it sounds nice. Mind you, I am not yet a mother, so cupcake baking and treasure hunts sounds kind of cutely retro and a novelty for me. It depends what the other people are like though, my friends would make it fun. A fuckload of sloe gin would be involved and we would be drunk for the whole weekend straight. But if the others would be po-faced at that and insist on doing everything properly then yes it would be dull.

If you're not a good friend I think it's fine to pull out early on.

I'm with ProfYaffle.

I've managed to wriggle out of every cheesy-club-hen-do that I've ever been invited to. I loathe cheesy meat-market clubs with a passion. (Now a proper early 90s warehouse/quarry rave on the other hand....)

And I will NEVER wear red horns or walk around with my bra on the outside, or carry a sparkly wand.

In fact those things sound more like a SAHM bus-man's holiday to me!

I used to live in Brighton - another hen-party mecca, so to me it sounds much more civilised than wearing L plates, a veil and deely boppers and drinking as many alcopops as you can.

I understand that it might not be your idea of a hen-night, but appreciate that taking time away from your family is often a big headache. If she's not a close friend, perhaps it's not worth going? But even if you were a close friend, it's the hen's night, no? Surely it's what she wants that counts.

I didn't really have a hen-night. I met 4 of my very close old school friends in London and we went to a gig. I couldn't think of anything worse than a 'traditional' hen night - it's just not my thing.

I do agree with Riven though, it doesn't mean that they are 'wholseome dullards' for not wanting to drink until they vomit. Where's the fun in that?

Am I missing something? Isn't a hen night/party supposed to be about the bride to be and her choice?

YABU and miserable. Okay, it might not sound like fun but that doesn't mean it won't be, well, unless you all turn up with piss faces on ready to have a shit time.

TBH, if I was the bride I wouldn't want you there.

YABU, hen do sounds fab to me, much better than wearing ridiculous clothing and forcing a friend to drink too much alcohol. Just don't go if it isn't your thing.

YABU - I think it sounds like fun. Maybe I am dull. Clubbing and getting hammered doesn't appeal to me.

Surely it's more about the company than the activities? There are people I'd having a million times more fun baking cupcakes with than the most exotic night out with a different group IYSWIM.

And treasure hunts never stop being fun!

Cor, I must be a wholesome dullard because I think it sounds like fun. The cheese factory sounds good too.

"no monies have been committed by anyone yet" but you have accepted the invitation?